# Cecil Adams isn't real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 7, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386 "2011-12-07T17:05:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/61 "2011-12-08T03:04:52Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > I thought it was the season to be merry and gay. Haven’t you heard? It’s the season to be merry and _bright_. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/62 "2011-12-08T03:08:46Z")
> [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](#): > > Haven’t you heard? It’s the season to be merry and _bright_. Yes, well, when I get merry (at this time of the year, or any other time) I don’t feel very bright the next morning. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/63 "2011-12-08T03:15:33Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > And if there was no real name to associate with Dear Abby, what then? What’s the difference between someone claiming have held a conversation with Dear Abby and someone claiming have held a conversation with Cecil Adams? Well, for one thing, the Phillipses don’t pretend that Abby is a real person. I don’t particularly care if the chicago reader wants to have a fictional being as its answer columnist. Whatever floats their boat. What’s annoying is: me/justin/exapno/insert username here: Cecil Adams is a fictional identity used by the Chicago Reader for their Straight Dope answer column. una/czarcasm/ insert username here: What do you know about it? Only a select few know anything about Cecil Adams. He’s as real as you and me. me/justin/exapno/etc::rolleyes: When someone asks a serious question, they deserve a serious answer. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/64 "2011-12-08T03:22:51Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Again, complaining that “Cecil Adams” isn’t real is like complaining that Ann Landers is fictious, or John Wayne, or Alice Cooper. Actually, Alice Cooper is a pretty good example, because it wasn’t the name of the lead singer, it was the name of the band. No one’s complaining that Cecil isn’t real. It’s the “cute” little dance some members put on to purport that he is real. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/65 "2011-12-08T03:24:20Z")
I see absolutely nothing incorrect in the assertion that “Cecil Adams” is every bit as real a person as “Exapno Mapcase.” ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/66 "2011-12-08T03:35:37Z")
So if I got the living people behind the SDMB accounts The Perfect Master and Ed Zotti in the same room, how many people would I have in that room? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/67 "2011-12-08T03:41:27Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > So if I got the living people behind the SDMB accounts The Perfect Master and Ed Zotti in the same room, how many people would I have in that room? That’s an entirely different question, though. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/68 "2011-12-08T03:45:42Z")
Not really. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/69 "2011-12-08T03:53:46Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > The mods have made it clear in dozens of threads that you can’t lie, obfuscate, or deliberately mislead in GQ. That’s what Una does with her answers. You can’t excuse them by being joke answers. She knows what the truth is and then taunts us with dangling non-answers in front of our faces. \*\*Una’s \*\*posts are no worse than someone who posts a cutesy obfuscation in response to a question about the reality of Santa Claus. You are having a serious, _serious_ sense of humour failure over this. Joke answers, even from those in the know, even from mods, are a normal feature of GQ (after the question has been answered which it has been here). Demanding absolute accuracy and consistency over a damn _joke_ is boorish in the extreme. Further, your position is self defeating. You know what the truth is. It’s obvious. You know that \*\*Una \*\*is obfuscating. It’s obvious. Yet you seem at the same time to be suggesting she is misleading us. Yeah, about as misleading as any person who pretends that a Scotsman, an Englishman and a Frenchman walked into a bar. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/70 "2011-12-08T03:58:47Z")
Sure it is. “Is Cecil Adams a pen name,” is an entirely different question than, “Is Cecil Adams a real person.” Mark Twain was a real person, despite the fact that he was born with a different name. Betty Crocker, for a contrary example, was a corporate mascot fabricated from scratch. There was never any person who answered to the name “Betty Crocker” who had any material participation in the running of General Mills. There is a person who answers to the name “Cecil Adams” who writes the columns that appear under the heading, “The Straight Dope.” Whether he answers to any other names is a different matter. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/71 "2011-12-08T04:17:08Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Sure it is. It answers the question that every single person who has ever asked, “Is Cecil Adams real?” meant. And if you ask anyone involved with the Mark Twain estate “Is Mark Twain real?” they’d tell you that it was a pseudonym made up by Samuel Clemens. General Mills freely admits to the nonexistence of Betty Crocker as anything other than a pretty woman on the front of their mixes. The Straight Dope, however persists in this, frankly, bizarre game of beating around the bush. I don’t understand why you keep bringing up examples of people and corporations who don’t do exactly the thing you guys do that makes these threads show up all the time. Prin, you felt that oglaf was scraping the bottom of the joke barrel with two guys having sex and the fact that every single time someone asks if Cecil is real, we get the same song and dance routine doesn’t wear just a teensy bit thin? If Samclem is allowed to warn people over Smirnoff jokes, I think members can be irritated with this Adams business. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/72 "2011-12-08T04:29:01Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Sure it is. “Is Cecil Adams a pen name,” is an entirely different question than, “Is Cecil Adams a real person.” Mark Twain was a real person, despite the fact that he was born with a different name. Betty Crocker, for a contrary example, was a corporate mascot fabricated from scratch. There was never any person who answered to the name “Betty Crocker” who had any material participation in the running of General Mills. There is a person who answers to the name “Cecil Adams” who writes the columns that appear under the heading, “The Straight Dope.” Whether he answers to any other names is a different matter. You can try to doubletalk it, and shift the goalposts, and obsfucate, but you know what the issue is, and the above ain’t it. Our statement is that Ed Zotti writes the column signed as Cecil Adams. Nothing about either of them being real in any sense. That statement is true, it’s simple, straightforward, and clear. It’s capable of being refuted, which I have asked repeatedly for anyone in an official position to do. You don’t. You maunder about with philosophical inanities about the nature of reality. Submit it to Failblog where it will get a better reception. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/73 "2011-12-08T04:29:24Z")
I appreciate the fiction. It allows me to attack Ed Zotti to my heart’s content, and never feel like I’m insulting our host. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/74 "2011-12-08T04:35:55Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > When someone asks a serious question, they deserve a serious answer. Perhaps you should write to Dear Abby.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/75 "2011-12-08T04:48:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > It answers the question that every single person who has ever asked, “Is Cecil Adams real?” meant. Yeah, that’s almost certainly true. Doesn’t change the fact that “Yes, he’s real,” is a factually correct answer to the question. Since it has been alleged that giving that answer is in someway a violation of GQ rules, I think it’s reasonable to point out that the answer is neither a lie nor inaccurate, even if it is not as perfectly helpful as it could possibly be. > [@Exapno Mapcase](#): > > Our statement is that Ed Zotti writes the column signed as Cecil Adams. Your _statement_? What are you, a political movement? I thought that “Occupy the SDMB” thread was supposed to be a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/76 "2011-12-08T05:00:30Z")
I don’t know where people get the idea that this is a website about fighting ignorance. The masthead? “Fighting ignorance since 1973 (It’s taking longer than we thought)”? That is - GET THIS! - a joke! See, it has a punchline and everything! This is and always has been a website for a newspaper column based around the idea of a fictional “world’s smartest human” who answers questions with a combination of snark and research. It’s expanded beyond that, sure, and the forum in particular has attracted a broader user base than fans of the column, but that’s still the basic premise of the website. If you don’t like that premise, go find a sherlockian website to visit where you can tell them that Arthur Conan Doyle made the whole thing up, go post on H2G2 about how there are no Vogons, or go over to Westboro Baptist Church and inform them that their website is obviously a parody and they aren’t fooling anybody. But please don’t ruin our fun here. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/77 "2011-12-08T05:03:13Z")
The Straight Obfuscation just doesn’t have the same cachet. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/78 "2011-12-08T05:03:13Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Not Zotti’s. Cecil’s. Little Ed is just his assistant. Depends. He takes turns playing each other. Which leaves us with a deeper mystery still: is _Litte Ed Zotti_ real or is Cecil Adams playing _him_? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/79 "2011-12-08T05:07:41Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > I don’t know where people get the idea that this is a website about fighting ignorance. The masthead? “Fighting ignorance since 1973 (It’s taking longer than we thought)”? That is - GET THIS! - a joke! See, it has a punchline and everything! Yes, the latter half of the motto is a joke. The first half is not. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/80 "2011-12-08T05:10:19Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > It’s capable of being refuted, which I have asked repeatedly for anyone in an official position to do. You don’t. You maunder about with philosophical inanities about the nature of reality. How very distressing for you.☹ > [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > I don’t know where people get the idea that this is a website about fighting ignorance. The masthead? “Fighting ignorance since 1973 (It’s taking longer than we thought)”? That is - GET THIS! - a joke! See, it has a punchline and everything! > > This is and always has been a website for a newspaper column based around the idea of a fictional “world’s smartest human” who answers questions with a combination of snark and research. It’s expanded beyond that, sure, and the forum in particular has attracted a broader user base than fans of the column, but that’s still the basic premise of the website. If you don’t like that premise, go find a sherlockian website to visit where you can tell them that Arthur Conan Doyle made the whole thing up, go post on H2G2 about how there are no Vogons, or go over to Westboro Baptist Church and inform them that their website is obviously a parody and they aren’t fooling anybody. But please don’t ruin our fun here. Yup. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=5)