# Cecil Adams isn't real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 7, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386 "2011-12-07T17:05:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/81 "2011-12-08T05:29:20Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Prin, you felt that oglaf was scraping the bottom of the joke barrel with two guys having sex and the fact that every single time someone asks if Cecil is real, we get the same song and dance routine doesn’t wear just a teensy bit thin? Well sure. I don’t think anyone should have to consider it a _good_ joke. If \*\*Exapno’s \*\*complaint was simply that it was an old tired joke, then he would be entitled to that opinion. But what I think is boorish is demanding that when discussing a joke zat ve haf no zense of hoomor unt muzt not ztate sings zat are not prezisely korrect. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/82 "2011-12-08T06:24:13Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > Do you get angry in CS when people talk about the character traits of TV, movie or book characters? Do you get pissed off at the mention of Mark Twain, since he doesn’t exist either? How about Carolyn Keene - a name used by several authors - do you experience rage at the mention of that name too?\ I don’t know, but Alan Smithee has sure directed a lot of shit movies. :eek: Oh god, I’m so sorry **Alan,** I didn’t realize you were in here! ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/83 "2011-12-08T07:14:31Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I don’t know, but Alan Smithee has sure directed a lot of shit movies. > > :eek: > > Oh god, I’m so sorry **Alan,** I didn’t realize you were in here! Dammit! How did you know? The studio promised they’d use a pseudonym for me! ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/84 "2011-12-08T07:32:18Z")
I don’t perceive the behavior as being jerkish or even annoying. I have difficulty empathizing with those that do. > [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > The cute fiction that Cecil Adams is a mystery, wrapped in an egg roll, smothered in brown sauce, and garnished with parsley, isn’t the issue. Una’s behavior and the special privileges she is given to behave differently from everyone else on the board is the issue. There are no special privileges here. On this topic, the opinions expressed by this poster are more extreme than those of Una. Specifically, I have referred to Cecil more than once as a, “Not really a person, more like a force of nature.” Whether such quips or positioning are annoying is a matter of opinion. But I can factually state that it is not peculiar to Una. I’m also pretty darn sure others have spoken obliquely about Cecil as well. > [@Expano Mapcase](#): > > Because I don’t care if I violate unwritten rules. I love to tromp all over them. I hate unwritten rules. They exist solely so that some people can bully others and get away with it, all the while going “Who, me?” Hoo boy. That’s very odd. Sociologists emphasize that there are all manner of unwritten and even uncontemplated rules. I think they call them mores.\* When they are broken, it’s typically blindingly obvious to the group. I’m not saying a faux pas was committed in the reference thread: I’m just saying this argument is peculiar. - IANAS and I’ve probably mangled this point. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/85 "2011-12-08T07:37:02Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Depends. He takes turns playing each other. Which leaves us with a deeper mystery still: is _Litte Ed Zotti_ real or is Cecil Adams playing _him_? :dubious: Cecil Adams once dreamt that he was Ed Zotti. Ever after, he was never sure if he was really Cecil Adams, or merely Ed Zotti, dreaming that he was Cecil Adams. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/86 "2011-12-08T12:25:24Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Since it has been alleged that giving that answer is in someway a violation of GQ rules, I think it’s reasonable to point out that the answer is neither a lie nor inaccurate, even if it is not as perfectly helpful as it could possibly be. It’s good to know that as accurate as possible without being helpful is an acceptable standard to meet here. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/87 "2011-12-08T13:37:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Cecil Adams once dreamt that he was Ed Zotti. Ever after, he was never sure if he was really Cecil Adams, or merely Ed Zotti, dreaming that he was Cecil Adams. We call that _Ceception_. ---
**Author:** ![srzss05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/88 "2011-12-08T15:23:45Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > There are no special privileges here. On this topic, the opinions expressed by this poster are more extreme than those of Una. Specifically, I have referred to Cecil more than once as a, “Not really a person, more like a force of nature.” Whether such quips or positioning are annoying is a matter of opinion. But I can factually state that it is not peculiar to Una. I’m also pretty darn sure others have spoken obliquely about Cecil as well. “Those others” are doing so because they are parroting Una, not because they know the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/89 "2011-12-08T15:29:14Z")
> [@srzss05](#): > > “Those others” are doing so because they are parroting Una, not because they know the answer. It’s like you’re reading my mind! Quick-what number am I thinking of? ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/90 "2011-12-08T15:40:16Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Our statement is that Ed Zotti writes the column signed as Cecil Adams. Nothing about either of them being real in any sense. That statement is true, it’s simple, straightforward, and clear. It’s capable of being refuted, which I have asked repeatedly for anyone in an official position to do. Have you been badgering Coca-Cola for their official recipe too? How about the Caramilk secret - do you froth with rage at the fact that it isn’t really a _secret_ because people on the internet have figured it out but the company keeps insisting that it is? You can ask and beg and snarl at "people in an official position’ to answer you, even if you know you’re right, and they will not. It is in their interest to keep the “mystery” going. _This is no different_. Cecil Adams is a corporate creation that operates under the appearance that he _is_ real, so that he may answer questions in the Straight Dope newspaper column. Why on earth would he/Ed/his owners come out and say “oh yeah, he’s fake!”, even if he is? How would that possibly help his column, whatever book sales still exist and the SDMB? You won’t learn the Caramilk secret from Cadbury - who will adamantly maintain that it _is_ a secret - and you won’t learn Cecil’s identity from the Chicago Reader, Creative Loafing, The Straight Dope, the SDMB or any of their employees. Best deal with it. (and googling to verify that Cadbury is the maker of Caramilk, I see that it isn’t a chocolate bar that’s available in the States so you might not be familiar with it…not that it matters much to my point. Here’s an advertisement for the ‘[secret](http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCaramilkSecret?blend=21&ob=5)’ to help you out!) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/91 "2011-12-08T15:54:13Z")
And another thing, Og isn’t real either!!! People who refer to him as if he were should be banned as jerks!!! ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/92 "2011-12-08T16:01:36Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Cecil Adams once dreamt that he was Ed Zotti. Ever after, he was never sure if he was really Cecil Adams, or merely Ed Zotti, dreaming that he was Cecil Adams. See what I mean? The implications of your explanation are truly staggering. For instance, now how do I _know_ I am not really you posting as **RedFury**? Or vice versa? Posters here ought to realize that this one question best left unanswered. And yet some continue to whittle away at it w/out taking into account the horrifying implications: that we’re all truly figments of our imagination. Or Cecil’s ant farm for that matter! _:::steps away from keyboard slowly:::_ ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/93 "2011-12-08T16:09:59Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It’s like you’re reading my mind! Quick-what number am I thinking of? Pi? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/94 "2011-12-08T16:13:56Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Pi? Cherry pi. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/95 "2011-12-08T16:17:13Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Cherry pi. Not when _I_ get done with it. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/96 "2011-12-08T16:18:57Z")
> [@srzss05](#): > > “Those others” are doing so because they are parroting Una, not because they know the answer. Nah. The tradition, long predating Una, is to treat the readership like little kids who you are trying to keep beleving in the tooth fairy for one more year. She is just following the usual precedent. Yes, it is a stupid tradition and insulting to the readership, but really … at some point you just humor the silly adults so long as they keep leaving the money under your pillow. Honestly to me the issue has more been that the quality of the column has declined mightily from its heyday. The research done has become shoddy and no longer qualifies as straight dope so much as the bit that fits the bias of whoever is answering the question, that was easily found, and that can fit easily in a column. But Cecil being a myth … let Mom and Dad have their fun. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/97 "2011-12-08T17:06:23Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > Have you been badgering Coca-Cola for their official recipe too? How about the Caramilk secret - do you froth with rage at the fact that it isn’t really a _secret_ because people on the internet have figured it out but the company keeps insisting that it is? > > You can ask and beg and snarl at "people in an official position’ to answer you, even if you know you’re right, and they will not. It is in their interest to keep the “mystery” going. > > _This is no different_. Of course it’s different. The recipes you’re looking for are what’s known as “trade secrets.” There are very specific laws in place to protect those secrets from others who would illegally profit from them if they were made public. Cecil Adams is the pen name of Ed Zotti is not a trade secret. Although, I suppose someone could kidnap him and begin turning in columns written by Zotti but actually penned by the kidnapper. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/98 "2011-12-08T17:19:07Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Sociologists emphasize that there are all manner of unwritten and even uncontemplated rules. I think they call them mores.\* When they are broken, it’s typically blindingly obvious to the group. I’m not saying a faux pas was committed in the reference thread: I’m just saying this argument is peculiar. Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in. Dude, next time take Sociology 102 after the BS of Sociology 101. The unwritten rules of a group always are set by the ruling classes. It was blindingly obvious when Jews wanted the right to move to a restricted neighborhood, when women wanted the right to vote, when gays wanted the right to marry, and when blacks wanted the right to live through the day. That’s why rules exist. They level the playing field so that the people trampled by the unwritten rules can play the game. Unwritten rules are the equivalent of hate speech. ---
**Author:** ![Oldeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ea666f/32.png) [@Oldeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oldeb)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/99 "2011-12-08T17:28:47Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > And another thing, Og isn’t real either!!! People who refer to him as if he were should be banned as jerks!!! Og may not be real, but Chewbacca remains a wookie and not a real defense. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/100 "2011-12-08T17:29:36Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in. > > Dude, next time take Sociology 102 after the BS of Sociology 101. The unwritten rules of a group always are set by the ruling classes. It was blindingly obvious when Jews wanted the right to move to a restricted neighborhood, when women wanted the right to vote, when gays wanted the right to marry, and when blacks wanted the right to live through the day. > > That’s why rules exist. They level the playing field so that the people trampled by the unwritten rules can play the game. Unwritten rules are the equivalent of hate speech. Jews? Hate Speech? _Really, dude?_ Look, you can either go with the flow, deal with the shtick, play the game etc. or not-your choice. It’s really that simple. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=6)