# Cecil Adams isn't real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 7, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386 "2011-12-07T17:05:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/101 "2011-12-08T17:30:44Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in. > > Dude, next time take Sociology 102 after the BS of Sociology 101. The unwritten rules of a group always are set by the ruling classes. It was blindingly obvious when Jews wanted the right to move to a restricted neighborhood, when women wanted the right to vote, when gays wanted the right to marry, and when blacks wanted the right to live through the day. > > That’s why rules exist. They level the playing field so that the people trampled by the unwritten rules can play the game. Unwritten rules are the equivalent of hate speech. This can’t be serious, but I can’t figure out what exactly you are parodying. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/102 "2011-12-08T19:01:09Z")
Cecil Adams is hate speech? ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/103 "2011-12-08T20:09:42Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I appreciate the fiction. It allows me to attack Ed Zotti to my heart’s content, and never feel like I’m insulting our host. The difference between Cecil Adams and Ed Zotti is the same as the difference between the dignity of President of the United States and Barack Obama the politician (or George Bush). > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Of course it’s different. The recipes you’re looking for are what’s known as “trade secrets.” There are very specific laws in place to protect those secrets from others who would illegally profit from them if they were made public. The “secret” of Caramilk isn’t a trade secret, it’s an advertising gimmick. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/104 "2011-12-08T20:20:41Z")
> [@Oldeb](#): > > Og may not be real, but Chewbacca remains a wookie and not a real defense. What are you trying to say? That Chewbacca was forced to live on Endor by the oppressive ruling classes because he was Jewish? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/105 "2011-12-08T20:25:17Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Dammit! How did you know? The studio promised they’d use a pseudonym for me! Pfff, studios, right?! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/106 "2011-12-08T20:37:04Z")
Cecil is to real! Every year I leave a plate of warm, homemade chocolate chip cookies on my front porch, and the next morning they’re gone, and in its place is a note that says, “Thanks for the cookies, they were scrumptious. But I’m still smarter than you. -Cecil A.” See, it’s signed “Cecil A.” and he used the word “scrumptious” which I almost had to look up, but worked it out given the context. So, there! ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/107 "2011-12-09T00:06:00Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in. > > Dude, next time take Sociology 102 after the BS of Sociology 101. The unwritten rules of a group always are set by the ruling classes. It was blindingly obvious when Jews wanted the right to move to a restricted neighborhood, when women wanted the right to vote, when gays wanted the right to marry, and when blacks wanted the right to live through the day. > > That’s why rules exist. They level the playing field so that the people trampled by the unwritten rules can play the game. Unwritten rules are the equivalent of hate speech. Great Og on a pogo stick, man. Your perspective is cowering under a rock three blocks away and wants to know when it will be safe to come home. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/108 "2011-12-10T22:36:07Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > There are no special privileges here. On this topic, the opinions expressed by this poster are more extreme than those of Una. Specifically, I have referred to Cecil more than once as a, “Not really a person, more like a force of nature.” Whether such quips or positioning are annoying is a matter of opinion. But I can factually state that it is not peculiar to Una. > [@srzss05](#): > > “Those others” are doing so because they are parroting Una, not because they know the answer. ## I think this 2006 thread where I made that observation falsifies your claim about parroting. Una participated, but she didn’t exactly lead the discussion. And I pitched my silly line. [Unca Cece's Wikipedia page - Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=398396) Now generally, when I’m being oblique or ironic, I don’t like to explain myself. There are many ways of fighting ignorance: in this case we challenge the cognitive powers of the overly literally minded. But there might be a legitimate misconception _by those who have not read Cecil’s books_ or his 1970s-1990s columns. Their tone has shifted over time. Way back before the vos Savant imbroglio (and a little afterwards, to be honest) the conceit was that Cecil was the smartest person alive and that he knew _everything_. It’s a _metaphor_ gang. Ed is certainly not the smartest person alive -I’ve read _The Barn House_ so I speak with some authority- but he can simulate one with clear writing, acerbic wit, _the standard skills and tools of a journalist_, a telephone and a mission of fighting ignorance. My take is that Cecil _is_ a force of nature: or rather he’s an embodiment of all that we know. You too can tap into that – it just requires skill, effort and dedication. Once Google came in to prominent use, the premise grew more than a little stale. So Cecil’s editor dialed it back some. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/109 "2011-12-11T01:01:51Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Great Og on a pogo stick, man. Your perspective is cowering under a rock three blocks away and wants to know when it will be safe to come home. Not anymore. I think I saw it throw its hands up in frustration, then hop on a commuter rail whose destination was “anywhere but here”. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/110 "2011-12-11T04:06:21Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Would you settle for happy-go-lucky and bi? A+ Funniest post in this thread. 😃 > [@Miller](#): > > ATMB just gets weirder and weirder. Quite possibly the understatement of the year. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Boden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e99b99/32.png) [@Boden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boden)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/111 "2011-12-26T18:35:21Z")
i have only two things to suggest, and neither are meant to be inflammatory, but rather promote a moment of quiet reflection and thought. 1. OP said “It’s an irritating attitude. That’s it. I don’t care enough to have a fight over it, I just think it’s irritating.” three pages later, here we are. 2. > [@Doctor](#): > > And how do we know **Justin\_Bailey** is real? The only “evidence” I have are some words stored in a database on a remote server. For all I can tell **you** don’t exist! > > We choose to believe in a world where there is a Cecil Adams, a world where truth and science will win out in the end, a world where our ignorance will be fought and we will be enlightened! Yes, Virginia, there **is** a Cecil Adams! this one is particularly interesting to me. there are multiple threads and many pages within each about what has already been proved to be a fictional character. the argument here is not whether or not he exists, or even about the intelligence of the people who choose to believe in him or not, but whether people should act as though he does. why can’t this be the approach to larger topics, such as religion? for example, the ones who believe (in anything, i’m going broad here) can’t concretely prove their stance, just as the ones who don’t can’t either, otherwise the debate would have died out ages ago. is it that hard to just co-exist with people who believe something different? at least we know for a fact that Cecil and Santa aren’t real in the way that they are intended to be perceived, but for issues that people actually die over, why can’t we agree to believe different things? anyway, just a thought. this is honestly not an attempt to troll, but just one guy’s opinion. after all, mine is the only opinion i am responsible for. ---
**Author:** ![srzss05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/112 "2011-12-26T20:03:57Z")
> [@Boden](#): > > is it that hard to just co-exist with people who believe something different? I don’t think the problem is “beliefs.” I think some people are irritated at others being “cute.” ---
**Author:** ![SDMBKL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdmbkl/32/7297_2.png) [@SDMBKL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDMBKL)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/113 "2011-12-27T21:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Cecil offers no cure-alls, and for sure no guarantees, but here’s a few tips, culled from sundry sources, some more reliable than others. Source: [How can I avoid a holiday hangover? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/487/how-can-i-avoid-a-holiday-hangover) Is the fact that Cecil Adams’ using the third person proof that “he” really “they”? Is it a possibility that Cecil Adams is just a pseudonym for a group of people rather than the name of a columnist? _Ask Alice!_ signs each response with the name “Alice”, making it sound like that it is one entity. In reality, _Ask Alice!_ is hosted by Columbia University and is presumably answered by Columbia University students, staff, and faculty all under the same pseudonym and entity, Alice. I hypothesize that Cecil Adams is really hosted by the Chicago Reader columnists, though the original column could be created by a single person named Cecil Adams or a single person who uses the name “Cecil Adams” as a pseudonym. (Please note that the usage of the word ‘single’ does not indicate the author’s marital status. It means an individual.) I have also discovered another Q&A author on the Internet. I have forgotten this author’s name, but I do remember that this author really likes using biblical quotations to justify explanations and queries about similar questions like those on _Ask Alice!_ or the _Straight Dope_, giving me an impression that the author supports conservatism and Christianity. It seems that some people tend to use faith as a means to explain phenomena while others use scientific evidence and factual data. Or, am I just dreaming? I could have sworn I have read such an article or website… ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/114 "2011-12-27T22:22:55Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > Or, am I just dreaming? If Alice seems rather tall, just tell them a hookah-smoking caterpillar gave you the call. … Or, as a rather famous bowl of petunias once said, “oh no, not again.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/115 "2011-12-27T22:50:01Z")
When someone in real life slips in fast and takes your parking spot, you can’t address the injustice as you want to. When someone with power over you abuses that power and abuses you, you can’t address the injustice as you want to. When the township refuses to compensate you for the cost of laying a new sidewalk after their snowplows decimated it, you can’t address the injustice as you want to. This is not a real life experience. Any of us who have been here long enough know it, understand the underlying construct of the place and remain because we enjoy it, or because it means something to us, etc. Expecting **Una** to be punished for jerkish behaviors in GQ that are founded on what she did or did not say about Cecil is inconsistent with the construct of the SDMB. It’s not a reality that any one Doper has control over. You can’t address the injustice as you want to. On the other hand, adult life on this planet teems with injustices. Pick your battles, and perhaps decide to enjoy The Straight Dope !!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![srzss05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/116 "2011-12-27T23:23:35Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > Is the fact that Cecil Adams’ using the third person proof that “he” really “they”? Is it a possibility that Cecil Adams is just a pseudonym for a group of people rather than the name of a columnist? [There’s another thread on this very board discussing/complaining about how silly some people are about this.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=634033) ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/117 "2011-12-27T23:31:38Z")
I’ve merged the two like threads discussing Cecil Adams. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/118 "2011-12-27T23:37:21Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > Is the fact that Cecil Adams’ using the third person proof that “he” really “they”? Is it a possibility that Cecil Adams is just a pseudonym for a group of people rather than the name of a columnist? No. Cecil’s columns are not written by a consortium of people, whether SDSAB members or anyone else. Any substantial information contributed by anyone else is credited by name. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/119 "2011-12-28T02:29:42Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > This is not a real life experience. Any of us who have been here long enough know it, understand the underlying construct of the place and remain because we enjoy it, or because it means something to us, etc. Expecting **Una** to be punished for jerkish behaviors in GQ that are founded on what she did or did not say about Cecil is inconsistent with the construct of the SDMB. Nope, nothing wrong here! Oh wait… Quoth **Colibri** , General Questions MODERATOR (and SDMB Curator of Critters): > [@](#): > > At any rate, at least to my knowledge nothing that Una posted in that thread is a lie or factually incorrect. And she was in no way breaking forum rules. Huh. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386/120 "2011-12-28T04:20:34Z")
Oh by all means allow me to apologize. I withdraw my entire post. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-adams-isnt-real/605386.md?page=7)