# Cecil! Tell us about you smashing the building with the crane! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616 "2003-03-19T20:05:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/1 "2003-03-19T20:05:13Z")
like you mentioned in [this](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_402b.html)column! Please? I’ll be your best friend! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/2 "2003-03-20T05:17:35Z")
That’s a story I want to hear. Unca Cecil, tell us a story! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/3 "2003-03-20T11:13:56Z")
Wait a sec, lemme build a campfire! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/4 "2003-03-20T12:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AskNott \* > \*\*Wait a sec, lemme build a campfire! \*\* Here, use these old Jack Chick Tracts, the Official Kindling of the SDMB. 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/5 "2003-03-20T18:06:15Z")
\<\< and possessed fish are telling us to repent in Hebrew on the front page of the New York Times.~~~sig by Kyla \>\> I aint gonna repent on the front page of the New York Times, neither in English nor in Hebrew… and I doubt that they have a Hebrew font anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/6 "2003-03-20T18:29:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*\<\< and possessed fish are telling us to repent in Hebrew on the front page of the New York Times.~~~sig by Kyla \>\> > > I aint gonna repent on the front page of the New York Times, neither in English nor in Hebrew… and I doubt that they have a Hebrew font anyway. \*\* Oh, DEX—ter!!! > **[Miracle? Dream? Prank? Fish Talks, Town Buzzes (Published 2003)](https://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/15/nyregion/miracle-dream-prank-fish-talks-town-buzzes.html)** > > Members of Skver sect of Hasidim in New Square, NY, and Jews around world are abuzz over tale about talking fish; fish cutters Zalmen Rosen, member of sect, and his co-worker Luis Nivelo, Ecuadorean immigrant, say 20-pound carp about to be... 😃 ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/7 "2003-03-21T03:51:40Z")
No, Bosda. Sigh. My comment was a joke about the misplaced modifier, namely the phrase “in Hebrew on the front page of the New York Times.” See, the way the sentence is currently structured, that phrase modifies the verb “repent” rather than the noun “fish”… So, the fish is telling us that we should all go and repent in Hebrew on the front page of the NYT. Crawling along a leaf, I saw a beetle. Misplaced descriptive pages. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/8 "2003-03-21T12:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*No, Bosda. Sigh. My comment was a joke about the misplaced modifier, namely the phrase “in Hebrew on the front page of the New York Times.” See, the way the sentence is currently structured, that phrase modifies the verb “repent” rather than the noun “fish”… So, the fish is telling us that we should all go and repent in Hebrew on the front page of the NYT. > > Crawling along a leaf, I saw a beetle. Misplaced descriptive pages. \*\* :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Cobweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Cobweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Cobweb)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/9 "2003-03-21T14:53:59Z")
An’ ze Frenchman, he say to me, “Throw my horse over the fence some hay.” ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/10 "2003-03-21T15:43:38Z")
> [@](#): > > But Mr. Rosen said that when he approached the fish he heard it uttering warnings and commands in Hebrew. > > "It said `Tzaruch shemirah' and `Hasof bah,’ " he said, “which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.” > > Mr. Rosen panicked and tried to kill the fish with a machete-size knife. But the fish bucked so wildly that Mr. Rosen wound up cutting his own thumb and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. **The fish flopped off the counter and back into the carp box and was butchered by Mr. Nivelo and sold.** Is anyone reminded of the Scotsman’s pig? “Yes, it’s a heroic and remarkable pig, _but why does he have a leg missing?_” “Man, ye don’t eat a creature like that all at once!” ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/11 "2003-03-22T01:10:34Z")
Can we get back to topic on this? We want to hear about how Cecil nearly wrecked a building with a crane! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/12 "2003-03-22T01:12:04Z")
I plead again, please illuminate us with a song of yesteryear, one involving Perfect Masters, cranes, and buildings… ---
**Author:** ![Stentor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Stentor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stentor)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/13 "2003-03-23T16:01:35Z")
Yes Cecil, the children are gathered 'round and would ever so dearly love to hear a story from their beloved Uncle Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Cecil\_Adams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cecil\_Adams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cecil_Adams)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/14 "2003-03-23T22:52:44Z")
OK, here’s the deal. This takes a little setting up, so be patient. When I was 18 or so I had a summer job at a railroad yard as a machinist helper at the diesel house. The diesel house was a big building where locomotives were serviced. Football field sized, maybe 30-40 feet high, made of brick. The diesel house was equipped with an overhead crane. This consisted of a winch suspended from a truss that ran the width of the building. The truss was on wheels than ran on tracks running the length of the building. You could move the winch to and fro on the truss, and the truss back and forth on the tracks, and thus move the crane to any point in the building. With me so far? Periodically I had to use the crane to move parts around the diesel house. Cylinder heads for the diesels, wheel sets, stuff like that. Things that weighed hundreds, maybe thousands of pounds. So the crane mechanism was pretty massive. To operate the crane I used pushbuttons on a control box at the end of a long cable hanging down from the truss. One day I was supposed to move the crane down to the far end of the diesel house to get a part. I had the idea that there were brakes and limit switches on the crane that would automatically stop it before the truss reached the end of the rails and ran into the end of the building. There were. They didn’t work. I kept that button mashed down the whole time; the truss kept right on rolling. There was a thunderous crash. The building shook. All work stopped. In retrospect I’m lucky - we were all lucky - that the crane didn’t take out the end of the building, which conceivably might have caused the roof to cave in. The diesel house superintendent ran over. His name, believe it or not, was Belcher. He was well named. I was petrified. He looked me in the eye and roared: “Son, did you ever do that before?” “No, sir.” “You ever going to do that again?” “No, sir.” “Good.” With that he turned on his heel and walked away. Nothing more was ever said about the incident. I have kept my word. To this day I have never crashed another crane into the end of a building, and I don’t care what you ply me with in the way of money, liquor, and easy women, I never will. But I’ll say this: It was kinda fun to have done it once. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/15 "2003-03-23T23:51:26Z")
Now, _that’s_ a good story. Nice to see Cecil come visit the Teeming Millions. Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/16 "2003-03-24T01:26:54Z")
That was a nice story. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/17 "2003-03-24T02:45:40Z")
I agree, but I can also see how it would be hard to work that into a column. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/18 "2003-03-24T02:51:32Z")
This pales in comparison, but at Villanova U., our main observatory was a normal-shaped rectangular room, but the whole roof could slide over to the side. The 15 inch telescope was long enough, though, that it had to be stowed horizontally while the roof was closed. When we were being introduced to the equipment, the department head asked us “Do any of you know what they call an astronomy major who runs the roof into the 'scope?” “No.” “A liberal arts major.” I never did run the roof into the 'scope, but in retrospect, I see what **Cecil** means. It woulda been kinda fun to do it once. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/19 "2003-03-24T03:02:40Z")
Ha ha! **Tars Tarkas** has to be **Cecil** ’s best friend now. He promised. sucker! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/20 "2003-03-24T03:34:46Z")
:eek: [Blue M&M]He IS real![Blue M&M] _faint_ THUD! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616.md?page=2)