# Cecil! Tell us about you smashing the building with the crane! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616 "2003-03-19T20:05:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/21 "2003-03-24T06:09:48Z")
I once, uh, ran my car into a concrete post outside a fast food drive-thru. Tore some of the chrome right off. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/22 "2003-03-24T10:22:10Z")
I’m glad Unca Cece set the record straight, because the story I had heard was he wanted to knock down the building in order to impress Jody Foster. But I still don’t see how the talking fish fits in… ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/23 "2003-03-24T12:43:46Z")
It’s a MacGuffin. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/24 "2003-03-24T19:41:57Z")
How rude! Not one person thanked the Perfect Master. Allow me to be the first… Thank you **Cecil** for favoring us with your tale. It was an honor to behold. (is there a brown nose smiley??) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/25 "2003-03-24T19:46:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hawthorne \* > \*\*It’s a MacGuffin. \*\* Or a red herring. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/26 "2003-03-24T20:00:09Z")
Years ago, at the plant where I work, there was a forklift driver with a special affinity for concrete block walls. His name (I am not making this up) was Stan Back. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/27 "2003-03-24T20:37:37Z")
Oh boy! That was great! Now will you tell us about when you were [held at gunpoint](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_146.html)? Please! [sub]please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease[/sub] Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/28 "2003-03-25T00:41:21Z")
Oh yes, please, Unca Cecil? I’m not tired, I wannanother story! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/29 "2003-03-25T00:49:53Z")
Thank you, **Cecil**. That was a wonderful story. You’re my favorite poster. Even more than **John Corrado**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/30 "2003-03-25T00:53:35Z")
Thank You, Cecil!!! ::bows before the Perfect Master:: ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/31 "2003-03-25T02:24:02Z")
::snif:: That was beautiful man ::snif:: I got something in my eye ::snif::… ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/32 "2003-03-25T03:40:34Z")
Cecil, thank you for the amusing story… I do wonder if your boss would have ever thought that the kid he was talking sternly to would be _the_ Cecil Adams. Now could you please inform us of the name of your former boss and the address of your former employer? 😃 But seriously, I’d love to hear about the being held at gunpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/33 "2003-03-25T03:41:29Z")
What a pathetic load of arse-lickers! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/34 "2003-03-25T05:14:53Z")
Yeah! Show 'em how arse-licking is **really** done, Princhester! [sub]Or isn’t that what you meant?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/35 "2003-03-25T05:24:16Z")
[ul]😕 [sup] **Cecil Who?** [/sup][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/36 "2003-03-25T09:01:09Z")
You know…_Cecil_…His Purple Holiness… I wonder if Cecil will see my name and know that I exist… ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/37 "2003-03-25T11:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nametag \* > \*\*Yeah! Show 'em how arse-licking is **really** done, Princhester! > > [sub]Or isn’t that what you meant?[/sub] \*\* Clap, clap, I deserved that. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/38 "2003-03-25T14:13:24Z")
\<\< Clap, clap, I deserved that. \>\> Naw, nobody deserves the clap, it’s very painful, but there is treatment, see a doctor right away. And use protection next time. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/39 "2003-03-25T14:26:36Z")
Am I the only one here wondering how the hell they got the crane back up on the trusses? Back to the fish story: Okay, so he’s got God striking up a conversation with him, albeit through a fish, and his first inclination is to _butcher_ the thing\*? He stabbed to death the messenger of God? Man! In the grand scale of morality, that’s _got_ to be right up there with blasphemy and heresy. Being the good catholic that I am, I’d toss that (live) blessed fish into a garage sale aquarium and call the local t.v. station so that the legions of faithful could flock to the site of the piscatory miracle. And in the true American spirit, I’d have vendors walking around selling tasteful “The Miracle Bass of Cincinnati” t-shirts, so that my brothers and sisters could memorialize their pilgrimage. The t-shirts would be modestly priced, of course, because one mustn’t _exploit_ being a “chosen one.” \*Speaking of butchering the fish, what does one ask per pound for a linguistically blessed vessel-of-God carp? If that ain’t an item that SCREAMS e-bay, I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616/40 "2003-03-26T00:15:54Z")
The rails on most gantry cranes I’ve seen end at the walls - they sorta need to be attached to, if not into, the walls to support the tonnage they carry. The limit switches are usually a foot or two from the, shall we say, hard stops. Sometimes, the hard stops may be some sort of big springs or rubber bumpers, and sometimes, they’re just the wall. At any rate, I doubt Cecil’s mistrust in limit switches caused anything to come undone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecil-tell-us-about-you-smashing-the-building-with-the-crane/162616.md?page=3)