# Cecil's Shortest Column? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [April 28, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830 "2000-04-28T18:13:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/1 "2000-04-28T18:13:00Z")
If it isn’t this one, what is? [www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_150.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_150.html) * * * \>\ \_ **L\_\_\_L** He’s _back!_ ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/2 "2000-04-28T20:10:00Z")
I bet that the Judas Priest column was just a short after-thought question added on to the end of a longer column in the newspapers. For the about 10 years that I’ve been reading Cecil’s syndicated column in print, the amount of space that he has been given has been pretty constant. However, he seems to have more full-column answers these days, where before you’d more often see a question taking up 3/4 of the column with a quickie at the end. Bill ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/3 "2000-04-29T06:25:23Z")
I seem to remember one or more online columns with a one-word answer, something like “Yes” or “No”. But of course I would have to prove it by finding one! ---
**Author:** ![GabbaGabbaHey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f14d63/32.png) [@GabbaGabbaHey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GabbaGabbaHey)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/4 "2000-04-30T07:28:34Z")
I’ve never received a response from Cecil, so the answer to my question is easily the shortest… “An enemy of my enemy is my friend, Grasshopper” ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/5 "2000-05-03T15:50:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I seem to remember one or more online columns with a one-word answer, something like “Yes” or “No”. But of course I would have to prove it by finding one! > \*\* Arnold, I don’t know if it is online, but it is definitely in print. I’m on the hunt too. And there was also one of my favourite responses, which I am hopefully quoting correctly: “For the same reason you can’t park a cadillac in a closet, you bozo.” ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/6 "2000-05-03T16:15:44Z")
[http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_195a.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_195a.html) Thanks from **Arken** in another thread; I didn’t know this one was online. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/7 "2000-05-03T16:48:43Z")
That’s a good one Katt! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/8 "2000-05-03T18:20:44Z")
**I FOUND IT!!!** [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_003b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_003b.html) ---
**Author:** ![mommyjo2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mommyjo2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mommyjo2)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/9 "2000-05-03T21:09:54Z")
Not necessarily true- after all, didn’t the Egyptians punish blasphemers and Pyramid architects by cutting out their tongues? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cecils-shortest-column/1830/10 "2000-05-03T22:33:24Z")
Good job Katt, now all I need to find is a column with the one-word answer “No” to beat yours. mommyjo2, I suppose there might be individual cases of mammals without tongues, but I’m pretty sure that Cecil was speaking in the general sense. (I’m pretty sure you were kidding though.) I have also read what you said in Norman Mailer’s book “Ancient Evenings”, but I don’t know how accurate his novel is supposed to be.