# Celebrity death that would make the biggest headline today **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 15, 2012, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776 "2012-09-15T08:35:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/41 "2012-09-16T00:33:28Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > The queues that will form at her graveside for those wishing to either dance or piss will put the queues outside apple stores to shame. Off topic, but what do you mean by queues outside apple stores? It sounds like something that would be funny if I understood it… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/42 "2012-09-16T00:33:42Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > That story would never see the light of day. It would be reported as a heart attack, probably while doing something Pope-ly, like praying for the poor. If you take the Graceland tour, the story is pretty much that Elvis had a heart attack in the bathroom after spending the day reading the Bible and singing gospel music. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/43 "2012-09-16T01:27:35Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#): > > Off topic, but what do you mean by queues outside apple stores? It sounds like something that would be funny if I understood it… 🙂 Y’know, when either a new Apple store opens or a new iPad or iPhone is released. The media, here at least, seems obsessed with the bloody queues. Even as an Apple-user I find the whole scene vaguely creepy, especially the staff and the way they greet people on such events. Perfectly lovely at other times, but on those days insufferable. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/44 "2012-09-16T01:39:59Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I was thinking John Williams, but I don’t think it’ll get huge press. Are you kidding? The theme for NBC Nightly News was composed by John Williams. And all the other TV news programs will have countless samples of music John Williams composed. You’ll hear Star Wars themes for weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/45 "2012-09-16T01:49:25Z")
Mitt Romney. Think about it… the GOP would have to come up with a replacement candidate at the last minute who hadn’t been digging himself into the hole that Mitt Romney owns, and suddenly all the people who were on the fence about whether or not to vote for their party would be behind whoever replaces him. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/46 "2012-09-16T02:05:35Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Elizabeth II, Charles and William dying together. Making Harry king… > [@JoseArcadio](#): > > Continuing on the ‘Royals’ theme - Prince Harry. He’s serving in Afghanistan at the moment and so a prince dying in combat would be pretty big. Also, there’s an outside shout of a naked drug overdose. And if all four of them go at once, that gives it to Andrew. That could be interesting… ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/47 "2012-09-16T02:20:55Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Making Harry king… > > And if all four of them go at once, that gives it to Andrew. That could be interesting… Unless, as the tabloids keep hoping, Kate is pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/48 "2012-09-16T03:18:42Z")
I can’t figure out how the media decides what to cover and to what extent. When Michael Jackson died, I was working graveyard and my client had CNN on 24/7. _Every single fucking night for weeks and weeks_ ol’ Larry King would go on and on about Jackson. _Exclusive! Michael Jackson’s pool cleaner saw Jackson walking his dog once 27 years ago! That’s important and we will devote 9 full hour-long episodes to this!_ Ad nauseum. When Patrick Swayze died he had one episode devoted to him then went on to other things. Same with Brittany Murphy. When Heath Ledger died, it was in the magazines for a week or two then faded. When Amy Winehouse died, it was covered for months. The death of Steve Jobs was bigger, media-wise, than Niel Armstrong’s. I first read this thread this morning, and my conclusion: Mitt Romney. U.S politics is a hate-filled clusterfuck, and Romney dying would just add fuel to the fire. Hell, it would be a nuclear firestorm where previously there was a small campfire. A lot of people believe Brietbart was murdered, is there any reason to think that the death of Romney would _not_ be the biggest news story in decades? Less than 60 days until the election, during one of the most sharply divided moments in U.S. politics, and the man vying for one of the if not the most powerful job in the world dies? a “firestorm” is a strong understatement. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/49 "2012-09-16T03:54:44Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Joss Whedon. Dopers are cute. He’d get mainstream press now because of the Avengers, but before that? Internet enclaves of geekery would circlejerk for a long time but it’d fade from the mainstream media quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/50 "2012-09-16T04:01:44Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > Dopers are cute. He’d get mainstream press now because of the Avengers, but before that? Internet enclaves of geekery would circlejerk for a long time but it’d fade from the mainstream media quickly. I gotta agree with this. Whedon would get _maybe_ one mention on the evening news. And maybe another if other major celebs provided some eye candy and quotable quotes at his memorial service. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/51 "2012-09-16T04:03:45Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Are you kidding? The theme for NBC Nightly News was composed by John Williams. And all the other TV news programs will have countless samples of music John Williams composed. You’ll hear Star Wars themes for weeks. That’s was my initial thought, but after the moderate press Neil Armstrong got, not sure if kids these days know who he is or care that he wrote some of the best theme music and scores ever, despite the fact they’d probably recognize even some of the more obscure ones. I hope he lives forever. Speaking of Armstrong, makes me wonder if Buzz will get as much if not more press, since no news anchor or blogs will be able to resist saying, “To infinity and Beyond. Godspeed, Buzz.” ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/52 "2012-09-16T04:05:08Z")
Betty White. She’s had an illustrious career and has been part of iconic TV shows. She’s had a renaissance of late and her death would prompt retrospectives, specials where MTM talked about working with her, colleagues of her generation and current generation. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/53 "2012-09-16T04:10:46Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > Dopers are cute. He’d get mainstream press now because of the Avengers, but before that? Internet enclaves of geekery would circlejerk for a long time but it’d fade from the mainstream media quickly. Oh, don’t get me wrong. Of course, if he’d died before The Avengers, only the geeks would be erecting shrines in his name. But, he’s locked in now. Personally, I find his stuff hit or miss. His major achievement in my book is Buffy. Firefly just didn’t grab me like I thought it would. ---
**Author:** ![Stendhal\_Syndrome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Stendhal\_Syndrome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stendhal_Syndrome)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/54 "2012-09-16T04:11:36Z")
Justin Bieber’s death might cause a media frenzy and shatter many teenage lives. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/55 "2012-09-16T04:16:00Z")
I have to say, if Bill Gates died soon, it’d be huge news. Especially with his huge philanthropic efforts in AIDs, TB, and of course, Malaria. ---
**Author:** ![ctnguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@ctnguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ctnguy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/56 "2012-09-16T04:43:13Z")
Nelson Mandela will make big headlines, even though at his age it won’t exactly be a surprise. But the major media organisations have [plans, and in some cases cameras already in place at his house.](http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/dec/15/mandela-house-cameras-media) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/57 "2012-09-16T06:14:09Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > Probably a five way tie between Obama, The Pope, Tiger Woods, QEII and Madonna. If they all died in the same shoot-out, news editors would wet themselves in excitement. I don’t think there would be as much reaction to the Pope or the Queen as there would be to someone like Barack Obama who isn’t old enough that you’d expect him to die. The Queen, although she’s in good shape for 86, is 86. The Pope is 85, and looks 110. If either dies it’ll be a big deal, but it’s an event most news agencies probably have contigency plans for right now. Nobody would be shocked. If Barack Obama dies at 51, that will be shocking news. It’d also have more of a real impact on the world. The mention of Joss Whedon is, I’ll admit, pretty funny. Whedon isn’t one of the world’s 1000 most notable celebrities, much less #1. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/58 "2012-09-16T07:02:26Z")
George Lucas. Just imagine the cheesy Star Wars reference we will have live with for weeks. Biggest? Neil Armstrong. First man on the moon… Oh yeah, was not much of a reaction:mad:. Probably the Queen. Obama. Perhaps Shimon Perez (who is about 200). The Pope? I doubt it, Benedict XVI is not the icon John Paul II was. If some Head of State in a war zone gets assassinated. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/59 "2012-09-16T07:51:08Z")
I think there are a couple of obvious tests you have to pass to be the next big death. You have to merit the “we interrupt our currently scheduled programming” treatment and your funeral has to be televised. They are not interrupting anything to announce that Joss Whedon is dead and they certainly won’t preempt anything to show his funeral. He won’t be the lead story on the news. He might even suffer the indignity of being mentioned only in the scroll at the bottom of the screen. Old people haven’t heard of Joss Whedon. If old people haven’t heard of you, you’re nobody. ---
**Author:** ![jepflast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@jepflast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jepflast)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776/60 "2012-09-16T09:20:44Z")
Here’s my current opinion of what would be the American list. I’ve thought about this for a couple of days, asked around some, read the replies in this thread, and done some research. But I’m sure I’m way off. Anyway, here’s the top 19–as far as I have any confidence whatsoever: 1. Barack Obama 2. Mitt Romney (very temporarily) 3. Michael Jordan 4. Paul McCartney 5. Oprah Winfrey 6. Jon Stewart 7. Prince William 8. Madonna 9. Queen Elizabeth II 10. Hillary Clinton 11. Tiger Woods 12. Magic Johnson 13. Ringo Starr 14. Bill Clinton 15. Pope Benedict XVI 16. Stephen Colbert 17. Prince Charles 18. Muhammad Ali 19. George W. Bush Others in consideration: Bill Gates Bono Eddie Murphy Tom Hanks Harrison Ford LeBron James George Lucas Kobe Bryant Arnold Schwarzenegger Sylvester Stallone Stephen Hawking Jimmy Carter Tom Cruise Pete Rose Hank Aaron Will Smith Julia Roberts Charles Barkley David Letterman Bruce Springsteen Larry King Steven Spielberg Prince Brett Favre Charlie Sheen William Shatner Chuck Norris Kate Middleton Dave Chappelle George Clooney Brad Pitt John Williams Shaquille O’Neal Fidel Castro Jerry Seinfeld Cal Ripken, Jr. Wayne Gretzsky Willie Nelson Robert De Niro Robert Downey, Jr. John Cleese Jack Nicholson Steve Martin Robin Williams Alec Baldwin Johnny Depp Jay Leno Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Larry Bird George H. W. Bush Patrick Stewart Pele Roger Federer Eddie Van Halen Andre Agassi John Madden Nelson Mandela Margaret Thatcher Buzz Aldrin Lady Gaga Ozzy Osbourne Steven Tyler Mike Krzyzewski Tom Brady Barry Bonds John Travolta Roger Clemens Mark McGwire Peyton Manning Matt Damon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-death-that-would-make-the-biggest-headline-today/634776.md?page=4)