# Celebrity/Doper Fakemail

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 7, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285 "2001-08-07T14:52:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285/61 "2001-08-09T17:59:04Z")

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Dear Chipotle Mexican Grill,

I take issue with you concerning the labelling of your products. In the future, please declare your “hot” salsa to be “intense burning lava-like pain inducing” salsa.

Sincerely,

My Tongue.  
P.S. I will be mad at you too tomorrow. - My Anus.

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**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285/62 "2001-08-09T18:00:26Z")

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**Manservant** , you. You owe me a Coke!

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**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285/63 "2001-08-09T19:01:01Z")

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Dear bunny girl,

If you continue to send pictures of rammstein to jarbaby’s mailbox, I shall be forced to come to your house and shave your head.

Our refrigerator is packed enough already without this latest addition.

Sincerely,

Mr. Jarbaby

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**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285/64 "2001-08-15T17:41:54Z")

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Dear Suffering Millions,

I’ve had about enough of your whining. Fix yer own damn problems from now on.

MandaJo

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**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-doper-fakemail/75285/65 "2001-08-15T18:08:50Z")

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Dear Suffering Millions,

I’ve had about enough of your whining. Fix yer own damn problems from now on.

[ul]- **jdavis** [/ul]

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