# Celebrity 'endowments' **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 11, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941 "2005-07-11T04:49:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/1 "2005-07-11T04:49:39Z")
In this thread, we shall discuss which celebrities are “gifted” in certain areas, and which are not. Liam Neeson is rumored to swing crazy pipe, for example. Or hey, what about [Jude Law](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/judeliv8213vg.jpg)? Don’t worry, it’s totally work safe, but hooboy. (Ignore the bad combover and the scarf.) ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/2 "2005-07-11T04:55:34Z")
Seems as if I’ve read that Colin Farrell is amply proportioned, but I don’t care, since I can’t stand him. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/3 "2005-07-11T04:57:09Z")
I just checked that Jude Law link. My goodness gracious, the boy is smuggling a loaf of French bread. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/4 "2005-07-11T05:13:04Z")
Uh, yeah. Jude Law has left my “hot man” list and entered my “man with intimidating penis who dresses for yachting” list. Dear lord, I wonder if he attaches a sail to that thing. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/5 "2005-07-11T05:15:31Z")
Not entirely on-topic, but if you watch the end of Grease, Jeff Conaway appears to be rather well endowed. Apparantly he decided it’d be a great joke to grab a sausage from the lunch cart before filming the scene and stuffing it in his pants to see if anyone noticed. It’s like the one thing he’s famous for aside from being in Grease to begin with. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/6 "2005-07-11T05:16:24Z")
If we’re including “dead wood”, [Milton Berle](http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5145) had quite the reputation. And, posthumously, so did [John Dillinger.](http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/dilling.htm) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/7 "2005-07-11T05:19:20Z")
Forrest Tucker is reputed to have had the hangingest pork in the West. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/8 "2005-07-11T05:23:32Z")
Oh, and since photobucket sucks, they resized the original. So I cropped it and uploaded it again, with the lighting fixed for clarification. [Here you go.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/judepipe.jpg) Why yes, I DO have a dirty mind, thank you for asking! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/9 "2005-07-11T06:04:44Z")
Jude Law has done brief frontal nudity in at least two films (_Wilde_ and _Talented Mr. Ripley_) and in neither did he seem particularly “gifted”. I’m wondering if it was laundry night and he had a roll of quarters or something. Forrest Tucker and Milton Berle are the subjects of the “took out just enough to win” anecdote. Shirley MacLaine filmed the movie [Wrestling Ernest Hemingway](http://imdb.com/title/tt0108596/) with Richard Harris. In one scene a starkers Harris opens the door to see MacLaine on the other side- according to her (though admittedly this is a woman who thinks her dog is the [reincarnation of Anubis](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743485068/qid=1121062530/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_ur_1/104-5117311-8689530?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)) the first time they did this shot she couldn’t go on with the scene because she was mortified. “He could have pole vaulted with that &#$&ing thing!” The most “Sweet Mother of Jesse Helms!” schlong I’ve ever seen on film was the aptly named Peter Firth’s in [Equus](http://imdb.com/title/tt0075995/). The thing was a foot long flacid… if he got excited he’d black out and so would those standing around him. There is no way in hell I’d ever want anything like that attached to or anywhere near my body. On the “less than gifted” side, Mark McGrath and Enrique Iglesias have both attested to their “minimalist” tendencies. (I think for Enrique it was to explain why he had no visible wood in the [,according to rumor, staged] pics of him with Anna Kournikova.) Robin Williams was either very very brave or very very cold when he filmed _Fisher King_. Of course some would never believe a gay man would make this comment, but I think the term “tool” is the best slang for that part of the anatomy as it is purely utilitarian rather than aesthetic- for true beauty you can’t do much better than a nice set of gams or a nice round boo-tay. I’ve never understood the big hoo-ha over big hoo-has, but I must admit it’s strangely interesting. (And in case you’re wondering, I’m solidly “middle class”.) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/10 "2005-07-11T07:05:47Z")
Straight guy chiming in: I can’t attest to its validity, but a friend (and I DO mean an actual friend. Her name is Rebecca) swears that [Steven Weber](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001836/) is likely to need back surgery in the future due to the size of the unit she swears he showed in [Single White Female](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001836/). ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/11 "2005-07-11T07:31:19Z")
Jimmy Durante was supposed to have a wang which rivaled his beak. I’ve also heard that Bea Arthur’s got a helluva swingin’ dick. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/12 "2005-07-11T10:02:14Z")
Ewan McGregor has an enormous…light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) _The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine_ and _Young Adam_. ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/13 "2005-07-11T10:09:08Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Ewan McGregor has an enormous…light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) _The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine_ and _Young Adam_. Don’t forget Trainspotting. And I think the whole 18 inch hose bit from _Down With Love_ is much funnier knowing Ewan almost does have such. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/14 "2005-07-11T10:11:29Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Ewan McGregor has an enormous…light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) _The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine_ and _Young Adam_. …and _Trainspotting_, briefly. 😃 He’s the only one I could think of. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/15 "2005-07-11T10:12:39Z")
Not so quick on the draw, me. Next time, I preview. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Thalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@Thalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thalion)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/16 "2005-07-11T10:35:08Z")
I remember reading an interview with Dana Delaney in which she commented on this topic. She said that Liam Neeson is legendary in Hollywood for his equipment, she knew that Willem Defoe was well-hung from a movie that they did together, and she said that James Woods is so proud of his that he’ll tell anyone about it. I also read an article from a life-long professional groupie that Huey Lewis has the biggest tool of any musician she had been with. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/17 "2005-07-11T10:37:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Liam Neeson is rumored to swing crazy pipe, for example. He did frontal nudity in that Jodie Foster movie _Nell_. I didn’t see anything unsual. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/18 "2005-07-11T10:45:42Z")
Fact vs. rumor: Search the [database here](http://www.hunkvideo.com/search/search.html) for James Woods (_The Onion Field_) and Ewan McGregor (_Velvet Goldmine_). No big deal, in either case. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/19 "2005-07-11T13:40:09Z")
We all do understand that “flaccid during a movie scene” is not a fair measure of who does and does not swing crazy pipe, right? If it’s not locked and in it’s full, upright position, you just have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. Amazing, confusing appendages they are… ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941/20 "2005-07-11T14:06:37Z")
A celebrity of much lesser lights, but comic book writer Roy Thomas is well known in the appropriate circles as being astoundingly well endowed. –Cliffy [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-endowments/311941.md?page=2)