# Celebrity hotties that aren't particularly hot **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 21, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661 "2011-11-21T17:28:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/181 "2011-12-04T23:26:45Z")
> [@Voluble](#): > > Jennifer Aniston looks OK sometimes but I am pretty sure she could drive a nail through a railroad tie with her chin. I’m a straight female but this…I never could understand why Jennifer Aniston has acheived the tabloid-queen level of hotness. Seriously? I think she is quite plain. Demi Moore is another I never really got. Mickey Rourke used to be beyond hot, and he had the potential to mature into a really good-looking older man, aka Sean Connery. But whatever he did to his face turned him into a freak. > **[Mickey Rourke’s Face: A History - TV - Vulture](https://www.vulture.com/2008/12/mickey_rourkes_face_a_history.html)** > > 'The Wrestler' is the first role to fully exploit the gruesomeness of Rourke's real-life appearance. View the Slideshow. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/182 "2011-12-04T23:28:54Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m a straight female but this…I never could understand why Jennifer Aniston has acheived the tabloid-queen level of hotness. Seriously? I think she is quite plain. Search Google for “jennifer aniston vanity fair waterfall” and “jennifer aniston gq tie” ---
**Author:** ![Colsophnel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Colsophnel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colsophnel)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/183 "2012-05-22T05:12:28Z")
I was making a list earlier… Anne Hathaway\*\*\* Sooo not hot. I really don’t see it at all. Scarlett Johansson Katy Perry Zooey Deschannel Robert Pattinson Eva Green Prince William Eva Mendes Harrison Ford Miley Cyrus Cameron Diaz The Rock Vin Diesel Renee Zellweger Julia Stiles Julia Roberts Ryan Gosling Drew Barrymoore Allyson Hannigan Megan Fox ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/184 "2012-05-22T18:37:11Z")
I don’t care how big her boobs are, Sarah Jessica Parker has a face like a foot. I literally cringe whenever one of her commercials comes on. Halle Berry: So vastly overrated it ain’t funny. Nice nipples, though! Jennifer Lopez: What’s the deal with her, eh, other than her big butt? Let Triumph sniff it, for all I care. Julia Roberts: Big boobs, skinny legs, a mouth that looks like baboon’s vagina. Angelica Huston: Alluring, in a funny kind of way, as Morticia Addams, but can’t hold a candle to Carolyn Jones. Paris Hilton is as intelligent as mildew and as interesting as belly-button lint. I might enjoy boning her, just so long as I were free to do anything I want and she kept her mouth shut. Allyson Hannigan I would joyfully service in any manner she might demand of me! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/185 "2012-05-22T18:45:10Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Paris Hilton is as intelligent as mildew and as interesting as belly-button lint. I might enjoy boning her, just so long as I were free to do anything I want and she **kept her mouth shut.** According to documentary evidence, you’d be limiting your options. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/186 "2012-05-22T18:46:09Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Allyson Hannigan I would joyfully service in any manner she might demand of me! Ditto for Drew Barrymore. Yum-O! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![phxjcc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phxjcc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phxjcc)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/187 "2012-05-23T00:21:02Z")
> [@ProbablyProcrastinating](#): > > Brad Pitt. I’m a straight woman and my only guess is that gay men made him “hot”, not women. > > None of these guys is hot and moreover, they are actors. You know who was hot? > > [Richard Feynman, 1975 | Burnaby, Canada. See S. Johnston, Hi… | Flickr](http://www.flickr.com/photos/chapelcross/2151623459/) You win best post. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/188 "2012-05-23T00:47:02Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Allyson Hannigan I would joyfully service in any manner she might demand of me! Alyson Hannigan doesn’t strike me as the very demanding sort; which is a big part of her adorabilityness. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/189 "2012-05-23T00:59:14Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Ryan Reynolds … has beady little eyes. There’s apparently an association between small squinty eyes and testosterone. That hard inaccessible look is supposed to drive millions of women to distraction. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/190 "2012-05-23T04:46:16Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Alyson Hannigan doesn’t strike me as the very demanding sort; which is a big part of her adorabilityness. You DO remember her big scene toward the end of _American Pie_, don’t you? The only thing I wouldn’t do for her is wear two rubbers (or even one, if I could get away with it). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/191 "2012-05-23T05:27:48Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > You DO remember her big scene toward the end of _American Pie_, don’t you? The only thing I wouldn’t do for her is wear two rubbers (or even one, if I could get away with it). I’ve never seen _American Pie_. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/192 "2012-05-23T05:44:53Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve never seen _American Pie_. “And one time, at Band Camp, I stuck my flute up my pussy!” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/193 "2012-05-23T05:58:57Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “And one time, at Band Camp, I stuck my flute up my pussy!” 😛 Charming. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/194 "2012-05-23T06:10:56Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Charming. Followed by: “So, are we gonna screw or not? I’m getting kind of antsy!” The first time I ever saw Allyson was in _American Pie_. Right at the beginning of the flick, she shows up with a bunch of nerds on the BMOC’s doorstep, asking where the big party’s supposed to be. She didn’t even have a line in that scene, but I knew IMMEDIATELY she was going to turn out to be the hottest babe in the movie! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/195 "2012-05-23T06:22:36Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Followed by: “So, are we gonna screw or not? I’m getting kind of antsy!” It’s not an accident that I haven’t seen it. Nothing in the clips I’ve seen was particularly funny to me, and I’m not a fan of raunchiness just for its own sake (even from someone as hot as Alyson Hannigan). ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/196 "2012-05-23T10:46:46Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > It’s not an accident that I haven’t seen it. Nothing in the clips I’ve seen was particularly funny to me, and I’m not a fan of raunchiness just for its own sake (even from someone as hot as Alyson Hannigan). Just quoting the line doesn’t do it justice. The whole point is that she has been such a goody-goody all the way through and then out of the blue she is revealed to be the dirtiest of the lot right at the end of the film. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/197 "2012-05-23T12:17:37Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > Just quoting the line doesn’t do it justice. The whole point is that she has been such a goody-goody all the way through and then out of the blue she is revealed to be the dirtiest of the lot right at the end of the film. I agree, though, that her “nerdiness” (if that’s the right word) is the foundation of her charm, whether it’s feigned or not. Even before it was revealed how hot-to-trot she was in _American Pie_, I fancied her far more than the other beautiful girls in the movie, 100%. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/198 "2012-05-23T13:19:16Z")
Kim Kardashian. Her eyes bug me, and that smirk is just asking to be smacked off her face. ---
**Author:** ![Dick\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Dick\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dick_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/199 "2012-05-23T14:11:02Z")
Rihanna she just looks dumb. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/200 "2012-05-23T14:29:24Z")
Victoria Beckham. Bizarre, grim-looking stick insect, taking herself oh-so-seriously and emitting an air of my-shit-don’t-stink. (well, that’s how she comes across, anyway). Pretentious! At least she isn’t constantly bragging about how ‘lucky’ she is being married to the hotness that is Becks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661.md?page=11)