# Celebrity hotties that aren't particularly hot **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 21, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661 "2011-11-21T17:28:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/21 "2011-11-21T20:13:16Z")
James McAvoy. He has this cute, dopey look to him that I can never see as hot. Michael Fassbender? Hot. James McAvoy? The guy who goes out to bars as Michael Fassbender’s wingman. He’s not unattractive, but I just want to pinch his cute little cheeks instead of sleeping with him. Sarah Jessica Parker. This woman was the fashionista queen of an entire generation of HBO viewers? Well, okay, as a headless mannequin I’m with it. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/22 "2011-11-21T20:17:40Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > In what universe is Pippa not pretty? Pippa Middleton is good looking for a 38 year old. The problem is she’s 28. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/23 "2011-11-21T20:40:01Z")
Drew Barrymore. Her body is nothing special, and her face has that abominable smirk on it that I just want to smack off her every time I see it. She’s incapable of making a not-smirk face. And I second what’s been said already about Angelina Jolie. Shapely I suppose, but not to my taste, and she seems so hollow that you might as well screw a pillow. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/24 "2011-11-21T20:41:54Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > FWIW, I’m with \*\*colonial \*\*on this. She’s certainly pretty compared to most of the women I see at work, but she’s certainly not pretty compared with women whose job it is to be pretty. She’s not a model or an actress. She didn’t get her job because of her looks, she got it the old fashioned way by sliding out of the vagina of the company owner. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/25 "2011-11-21T20:44:46Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > Yes! Her lips remind me of earthworms. I always think she looks like she’s having an allergic reaction. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/26 "2011-11-21T20:49:07Z")
I don’t get the love for Brad Pitt. He’s totally ordinary and everyday-looking to me. For some reason every straight guy I know thinks he’s what they should aspire to be. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/27 "2011-11-21T20:51:44Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s never struck me as anything other than plain to homely. I haven’t seen any recent cheesecake of her, but she has been in the past, the owner and operator of an absolutely slamming bod. I’ll spoiler-space the links, even though there’s no nudity: [Love those clavicles! That might be just me, though.](http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4900000/Sarah-Jessica-Parker-sarah-jessica-parker-4920261-1024-768.jpg) [My, she’s bendy.](http://www.l337joe.com/Sarah%20Jessica%20Parker%2001.png) She doesn’t have the best face, I admit, but even that is hardly ugly; just a trifle odd. Quirky’s a good word for it. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/28 "2011-11-21T21:07:05Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > She’s not a model or an actress. She didn’t get her job because of her looks, she got it the old fashioned way by sliding out of the vagina of the company owner. Well… Her job (PR) depends on presentation, not on native good looks. Her fame depends on her excellent arse as she held her sister’s train down the aisle. And she hasn’t taken on any modelling contracts or anything. She’s kinda famous for her looks, but her job doesn’t actually depend on them. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/29 "2011-11-21T21:09:47Z")
Benicio used to be hot, not so much anymore. He’s not aging well. I find Adrien Brody oddly appealing. I don’t find Bradley Cooper sexy at all. He is not attractive to me in the slightest. Also Harrison Ford. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/30 "2011-11-21T21:14:22Z")
> [@Shecky](#): > > Julia Stiles. Women go crazy over her. I just don’t see it. It’s not just women. It might be the overbite. And have you seen her dance? Allyson Hannigan - I just don’t see it. Sorry, nerds, just not. And I really don’t see the Kardashian thing. Have we gone full circle, is plastic now back in? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/31 "2011-11-21T21:19:50Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Allyson Hannigan - I just don’t see it. Sorry, nerds, just not. > > And I really don’t see the Kardashian thing. Have we gone full circle, is plastic now back in? Alyson Hannigan isn’t hot in still photographs, and is possibly not hot out of character. (I wouldn’t know; I’ve never met her and hope to keep it that way.) But _Willow_ is hot, as is _Lily Aldrin_. It’s a combo of motion, posture, personality. and some other stuff I could think of if I cared enough to think about it. As for Kim Kardassian, I’ll need some evidence that she is an actual human being and not an android or extraterrestrial before I can assess her. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/32 "2011-11-21T21:27:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > But _Willow_ is hot, as is _Lily Aldrin_. I disagree. Willow wasn’t the hottie in _either_ of her lesbian couples. She wasn’t even hot as Evil Willow. And Lily is … cute, I guess, but Robin, that’s HOT. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/33 "2011-11-21T21:29:11Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s never struck me as anything other than plain to homely. +1 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/34 "2011-11-21T21:31:01Z")
Bradley Cooper- sexiest man alive?? Ha! I think not. I will always remember him as the nerdy guy in the friend zone on Alias, and he is not hot. Ryan Gosling- big to-do by his fans because he wasn’t picked as sexiest man alive? Ha! He is far, _far_ from hot. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/35 "2011-11-21T21:47:08Z")
Megan Fox Angelina Jolie (not now, not ever) Jessica Simpson Pamela Anderson I think Scarlett Johannsen is beyond adorable – she’s just so CUTE – in movies like “Scoop”, “Lost in Translation”, “The Girl With the Pearl Earring,” but look at her Wiki photo – ghoulish is positively the right word. Don’t know what happened. Maybe she doesn’t take to the photographs too well – she appears pretty ghastly in other stills as well. She might just be getting too old. Glad dio isn’t hear to assail me for this, but she was very cute in “Ghost World” as well at age 17. I didn’t know she was only 17 when I first saw the movie, though. Same thing with Wynona Ryder in “Great Balls of Fire” – made me sick when I found out she was 16. No to Alyson Hannigan and the chick who plays Robin on that show I’ve seen a few times (also saw all of Buffy a few months ago, not even aww, isn’t that cute in that one). She is pretty cute, though, and I’d absolutely fuck her. Not the first four on my list, though, definitely not. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/36 "2011-11-21T21:49:15Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I disagree. Willow wasn’t the hottie in _either_ of her lesbian couples. She wasn’t even hot as Evil Willow. > > And Lily is … cute, I guess, but Robin, that’s HOT. Well, as I’ve oft written before, beauty, prettiness, and hotness are so subjective that all attempts to, ah, establish standards are fruitless. Incidentally, when I say a woman is hot, I mean that something about her makes me want to fuck her. It’s not identical with beauty. But I’ll say this: Willow had a considerably pretty face than Tara, but Tara was much hotter; that was a matter of personality and bearing, not anything physical. Kennedy (if that was her name) wan’t even pretty to me, and frankly I wished Willow would just go ahead and french-kiss Buffy as she had so obviously been wanting to for years. (Incidentally, Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn’t strike me as all that hot either, and that’s even if she is force-fed a few dozen cheeseburgers.) And Robin, while quite beautiful, is not hot at all. ETA: And I’ll agree that Megan Fox is not hot either. She’s _beautiful_, certainly, but something about her makes me want to put on a cup, then another one on top of the first one, if I were ever in her presence. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/37 "2011-11-21T21:57:46Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Allyson Hannigan - I just don’t see it. Sorry, nerds, just not. I didn’t see it either until very recently. She’s got some angles from which, while she’s no devastating beauty, she definitely has a voracious carnal appeal. It’s an odd thing, but it’s so. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/38 "2011-11-21T22:11:03Z")
Megan Fox has always seemed more skanky than hot to me. And, I can’t really explain why, but every time I see her, I can’t help but imagine that she smells bad. She may very well not, and I realize that’s terribly unfair of me, but I can’t help it and it’s a turnoff. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/39 "2011-11-21T22:11:47Z")
Katie Holmes does nothing for me and her mouth is very off-putting. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661/40 "2011-11-21T22:21:24Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s never struck me as anything other than plain to homely. > [@Sitnam](#): > > Julia Roberts, a skeleton with wax lips and a wig. They are certainly “ugly” compared to celebrities most men would call hot, but when they were younger, they were prettier than the average non-celebrity. Both seem to be more popular amongst women then [straight-] men > [@Jaledin](#): > > Pamela Anderson Pamela was like no woman I have ever seen. She had golden hairs and teeth as white as pearls. For the first time in my lifes, I was in love… then I found out she wasn’t a virgin and my roadtrip across America was a waste. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-hotties-that-arent-particularly-hot/603661.md?page=3)