# Celebrity/luminary haikus

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-luminary-haikus/180841>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [June 10, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-luminary-haikus/180841 "2003-06-10T12:42:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-luminary-haikus/180841/1 "2003-06-10T12:42:46Z")

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Why do this? Well, because the “literary limericks” thread was so much fun, but who has the time to 1) read books or 2) pen elaborate, 5-line limericks? [Yep, I’m dumbing down the limerick gimmick.] Remember, it’s a strict 5-7-5 scheme, but other than that, it’s anything goes!  
So, to wit(lessness):

Dan Rather

Texan breathlessness  
Still worth clicking to sometimes  
In case he freaks out.  
Martha Stewart

I’d have sympathy;  
Cry “tabloid martyr!” If she  
Wasn’t such a _bitch_.

Vijay Singh

Annika fell short.  
May you come back as a bull…  
Dyke in your next life.

Peter Sellars

Is it possible  
That you were just as perverse  
As your greatest roles?

Amy Rigby

You’ve written searing  
Songs of lust, jerks, and splitsville.  
Enjoy the free plug!

“The West Wing”

Sorkin’s patter fueled  
Lefty, sexy fantasy.  
Beltway show just ruled.

Ed Wood

Hollywood’s Holy Fool,  
His flops still fascinate. Weird.  
Eddy’s pal is wrecked.

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**Author:** ![Tarantula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e274bd/32.png) [@Tarantula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarantula)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celebrity-luminary-haikus/180841/2 "2003-06-10T13:10:48Z")

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Britney Spears

You wear the wrong things  
Except in that red catsuit  
Good lord that was nice