# Celibacy or How Long Have YOU Gone Without? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329 "2011-09-23T14:34:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/1 "2011-09-23T14:34:35Z")
Just curious how long others have gone with no intimate contact, and why. Being intimate with yourself doesn’t count 🙂 I’m single and I don’t date, coming up on four years for me. Why? Abusive marriage, sex one time in the last year of that marriage, simply not interested in dating at all since then. I know for some dating isn’t required for sex, but I’m honestly not sure how people do that. In the grocery store? “Hello! Great prices on sirloins! BTW - wanna get it on?” Poll is for past OR present lengths of celibacy. Just curious to see if I’m some sort of freak. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/2 "2011-09-23T14:47:11Z")
My record is 17 years. Of course, most of that was as a child. ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/3 "2011-09-23T15:11:44Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > My record is 17 years. Of course, most of that was as a child. I think we’re meant to count from _after_ virginity. Though having said that, there’ll probably be a virgin or two along to dispute it. Anyhoo, my longest dry spell was around 4 and half years. I’d given up on the whole idea of ever having sex again, and when I met a woman who actually wanted to shag me, I was totally clueless and had to have it spelled out for me. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/4 "2011-09-23T15:16:23Z")
Yes, after virginity please. I haven’t broken my longest dry spell of over 5 years yet, but I’m getting close! Wow at the poll results so far! 8 @ 3+ years! Nice to know I’m not crazy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/5 "2011-09-23T16:01:09Z")
I can’t say for sure, since the last time with my former husband wasn’t something I exactly marked on a calendar. But just roughly guessing, it was probably three years between that, and when I zeroed in on the current hub. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/6 "2011-09-23T19:31:40Z")
Since I lost my virginity, I haven’t gone more than two weeks without. Even when I wasn’t in a relationship, I always had a FWB. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/7 "2011-09-23T19:49:17Z")
I’ve gone about 18months without sex. It was the time following my accident/injury, when I first became paralyzed. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/8 "2011-09-23T19:50:03Z")
For me it was almost two years. I had a lot going on in my life and didn’t really have the time or energy to seek out such desires. What’s weired is I really didn’t miss it all that much. After my two year drought I’m laying in bed with my girl. The subject came up: “When’s the last time you got laid?” I was already to answer “Oh a couple of months or so” but once I got to thinking about it I was like: “Shit! It’s been nearly two years!” (Yikes) ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/9 "2011-09-23T20:05:02Z")
10+ years and counting. I never had a strong sex drive, at least when compared to most guys that I have ever known. Depression lowered it still and then the anti-depressants all but killed it off. Even though I quit the meds my sex drive has not return. I don’t really miss it (well, once in a blue moon) and will never have sex again. I liked sex, but I have never understood why it is so important to some people. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/10 "2011-09-23T20:50:38Z")
Over fifteen years at one point. Why? Painfully shy and fear of rejection. Eventually I got over it, with the right person. ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/11 "2011-09-23T20:54:38Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > Since I lost my virginity, I haven’t gone more than two weeks without. > > Even when I wasn’t in a relationship, I always had a FWB. This for me, except I might go 3 weeks before I go on the hunt for some, and maybe another week before I score, so 4 weeks total. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/12 "2011-09-23T20:55:41Z")
About 30 years for me. I’m pretty much asexual. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/13 "2011-09-23T21:00:34Z")
18 months was the longest since losing my virginity. In the interim, there were four guys who took me out on several dates and made it very clear that they wanted to have sex with me. In three of those cases, the dating actually ended precisely because they felt they had waited long enough to have sex with me, but I was still refusing to do it. The fourth guy I left because I realized I didn’t ever want to have sex with him. I just don’t take sex as lightly as most people, that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/14 "2011-09-23T21:05:36Z")
> [@Bloodless\_Turnip](#): > > In the grocery store? “Hello! Great prices on sirloins! BTW - wanna get it on?” 🙂 Don’t be silly. You ask someone you already know. I’d say my longest dry spell was the better half of a year. Can’t recall the exact amount of months, but it was too long. Disastrous, sexless relationship ended, which did not send me on the fucking spree I’d anticipated. My sex drive was shot and left for dead, and then one day --BLAMO!-- back with a fervor that would not quit. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/15 "2011-09-23T21:32:27Z")
Since I started having sex? 3-4 months. Consider though that I’m in my mid-20s and I’ve been in a relationship for coming up on 7 years. If I was ever single again, I could potentially go quite a while - I’ve only met a small handful of people in my life I would want to have sex with. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/16 "2011-09-23T21:39:14Z")
> [@Bloodless\_Turnip](#): > > Yes, after virginity please. In that case, about three weeks. I was on a business trip, and I couldn’t bring my wife along. > [@](#): > > Nice to know I’m not crazy 🙂 Cite? 😉 Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/17 "2011-09-23T22:06:54Z")
Around 4+ years after I broke up with previous girlfriend. I just needed to take a break from dating and reset, get back to being comfortable with myself. It was well worth it and I didn’t miss sex as much as I thought that I would. There’s always the internet 😃 Then when I decided it was time to start dating again I met a wonderful woman online and now we’re engaged. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/18 "2011-09-23T22:15:31Z")
Nearly 3 years between when todd33rpm and I broke up and I got back with my first-ever love of my life. But get this… that first-ever love of my life? I was with him 20some years before we got back together, and he was celibate the whole time. He love me. 🙂 and he is in some kinda heaven NOW, for certain. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/19 "2011-09-23T22:24:22Z")
Here’s a consideration regarding this question. Lets say its been X years. Then you have sex a time or two with someone (and I’d suspect in general that if you only have sex a few times its not going to be that good). Then its another Y years and a time or two. Then another Z years and another time or two. And so on. From an enjoyment/doing without point of view thats probably worse than somebody that had a dry spell a bit longer than X,Y, or Z but was humping like rabid monkeys when they were getting it. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/20 "2011-09-23T22:54:17Z")
Probably a couple weeks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329.md?page=2)