# Celibacy or How Long Have YOU Gone Without? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329 "2011-09-23T14:34:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/21 "2011-09-23T23:02:20Z")
There were about seven years between my ex-husband and …I guess my most recent SO. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/22 "2011-09-23T23:02:53Z")
3+ years The 3 ain’t so bad, but the + is just sad. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/23 "2011-09-23T23:14:51Z")
About 4 years during my 20s. That was frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/24 "2011-09-23T23:30:36Z")
For some of use we were never remotely “in the game” as far as acquiring sex. No one was offering, when we do try to pursue it just doesn’t get a successful result. So, for some of us it’s like Star Wars…a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… ---
**Author:** ![Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Romeo_and_Whatsherface)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/25 "2011-09-24T00:28:51Z")
Over 10 years and definitely not by choice. Ex had mental health issues and for reasons he never really explained, just quit touching me… sexually, nonsexually, “Let me help you up,” any form of physical contact. Stupidest thing I ever did in my life was tough it out that long for the sake of our kids. Actually, only 8-1/2 years of that was with the ex. Then there was a year and a half after I finally left because I just didn’t meet anyone, but I went into all that in another thread. Have been in a very causal FWB for almost a year, and I think it saved my sanity. I’m a sex-every-day kind of a gal, though I’m not getting it nearly that often. Don’t ask me how I lasted so many years without it. I don’t know. NOT healthy, though. I honestly believe denying a spouse sex that long is a form of abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/26 "2011-09-24T01:02:19Z")
Let’s see. Lost my virginity at art school when I was 29. Following that relationship, a 14-year dry spell. Then an unexpectedly-successful relationship. That ended almost two years ago, and right now I’m unemployed and looking for work, so I am not a good catch at all. Even without the economic reasons, my mind is elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/27 "2011-09-24T03:16:40Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > So, for some of us it’s like Star Wars…a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… For some, not even that. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/28 "2011-09-24T04:16:36Z")
I’m really surprised at the results of the poll. Seems that the people I know are all off having sex all the time, they think I’m odd. Then again, I don’t really get out much. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/29 "2011-09-24T05:25:22Z")
After my last serious relationship ended, my son’s psychologist told me that he said “I want a Daddy that won’t leave.” He was 6. His father and I had divorced when he was 3, and the relationship I had been in afterwards had last for 2 1/2 years before it fell apart. Hearing he felt that way just broke my heart. I couldn’t put him through it again. I stopped dating and I haven’t been in a relationship since. That was 12 years ago. I had said it was going to be until he was old enough to understand the difference between “That’s Mom’s boyfriend” and “Future Dad”. But after awhile, I just didn’t miss the drama anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/30 "2011-09-24T12:09:01Z")
Six years and counting. I got “soul-hurt” and don’t know that I’ll ever get past it. I’ve lived, shall we say, an eventful and varied life and learned to roll with the punches and at times just not take it too personally. After all, it’s only rock 'n roll, right? Except when the music stops. Whenever I think about sex I remember the saying I used to read on restroom walls at previous, long gone hang-outs: “The fucking you get ain’t worth the fucking you get.” Yep. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/31 "2011-09-24T14:10:16Z")
I got divorced in 2004. Since then, I have lost all interest in girls and sex. I’m sure it’s phsychological but I just don’t care. Besides, I had a _lot_ of sex in my younger days, so maybe I had my fill. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/32 "2011-09-24T14:13:41Z")
@Arden Ranger and Becky - I can relate to both of you. But, I think some people are able to find sex partners and just have sex. With no serious relationship involved. I don’t seem able to do that. I’m not saying that’s good or bad, just the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/33 "2011-09-24T14:18:38Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > 🙂 \*\*Don’t be silly. You ask someone you already know. \*\*I’d say my longest dry spell was the better half of a year. Can’t recall the exact amount of months, but it was too long. Disastrous, sexless relationship ended, which did not send me on the fucking spree I’d anticipated. My sex drive was shot and left for dead, and then one day --BLAMO!-- back with a fervor that would not quit. I’ve been thinking about this. I no longer know anyone. Part of an abusive marriage can be isolation. I moved away from my family, knew no one where I moved to, and drifted away from what friends I had left. So, no one to ask. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/34 "2011-09-24T14:20:12Z")
4 months while my husband was deployed. Torture. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/35 "2011-09-24T14:25:50Z")
My fiancee had a case of endometriosis, so we went a year without, then extended a month or so because we were about to get married and why the hell not wait? We’ve gone 12 months, another one wasn’t going to kill us. Of course, our wedding night was about a 43-second affair 😉 , but it didn’t take long (perhaps 2 hours later) for us to get back in the swing of things. 😉 However, I clicked the last poll option because other than medically imposed restrictions like that, (assuming I wasn’t married) I can’t imagine a time/mindset where I wouldn’t figure out how to get laid, especially for up to (and over) a year. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/36 "2011-09-24T14:33:32Z")
Few months - after having baby and some post-partum depression issues… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/37 "2011-09-24T14:42:51Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’d say my longest dry spell was the better half of a year. The “better half” of a year? That’s kind of insulting to the person who eventually broke your fast.😃 ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/38 "2011-09-24T14:58:21Z")
Less than a year. I wish I could go back and tell my high-school self that. I was nerdy and bookwormish and thought I’d probably never get laid. Shows what I knew. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/39 "2011-09-24T15:16:33Z")
~3 years between the end of my first intimate relationship and the beginning of my next one, back in my early 20s. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329/40 "2011-09-24T15:35:33Z")
From the time I lost my virginity to the next time I had sex was 10 months. That’s the longest dry spell I’ve had yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celibacy-or-how-long-have-you-gone-without/597329.md?page=3)