# Celine Dion is so stupid. And fat. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769 "2003-07-11T18:21:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/1 "2003-07-11T18:21:03Z")
Ugh so I’m listening to this awful Celine Dion song on the radio (over which I have no control). Why is she so horrible? I mean, some of her stuff used to be slightly tolerable and unique, but now she’s all like, “Oh maybe I should put a retarded drum machine loop in the background and scream the same lyric over and over to be just like all the other cool pop singers nowadays!” Why don’t people care about artistic integrity anymore? Why does Celine have to somehow include an “R” sound in all her I-must-outdo-Mariah banshee wails? Why does the public turn these mediocre people into millionaires? And why is Celine so morbidly obese? Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/2 "2003-07-11T18:26:44Z")
She’s the worse thing to come out of Canada since Bryan “Straight from the Heart” Adams. Yeah, she could stand to lose a few pounds, too. If she keeps going, she’s going to baloon up to a size six! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/3 "2003-07-11T18:35:19Z")
> [@](#): > > over which I have no control Why would that be? ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/4 "2003-07-11T18:36:18Z")
Waits for the roasting to begin. . . The real question is that the actual desired result? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/5 "2003-07-11T18:38:04Z")
I don’t care if she’s stupid. And there’s nothing wrong with being fat. But every time I hear that goddamned “Titanic” song…that piercing air-raid siren “wohhh…wohhhhh…_ **WOHHHHH** _-oh-oh-ohhhh…” the droplets of blood start forming at the corners of my eyes and I start foaming at the mouth and shaking and I have to **BREAK** something… ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/6 "2003-07-11T18:42:07Z")
Hey! She screws an old guy. Being an old guy, I can appreciate that. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/7 "2003-07-11T18:45:51Z")
A pox on that malphonious quint. About the fat thing, though, you’ve got to cut the engine if you want to mooch around here. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/8 "2003-07-11T18:46:32Z")
“Near, far, wher_ **eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvv** _er you are…” I am _so_ gonna go to hell for that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/9 "2003-07-11T18:47:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew \* > **…And there’s nothing wrong with being fat…** And cue the gravitationally-challenged to come in and hijack the thread. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/10 "2003-07-11T18:57:32Z")
I don’t know, I think **Qazzz** is being ironic. Or something. All I know is Celine Dion is definitely not fat–I’ve heard people accusing her of being anorexic. She’s quite thin. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/11 "2003-07-11T19:29:50Z")
For what it’s worth, I’d rather feed my gums to gerbils than listen to Celinde Dion, but she’s about as fat as Norman Bates’ mother. [Here](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/030710/168/4n4ow.html)’s what she looked like yesterday; I’d kill a whole family to weigh twice as much as her. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/12 "2003-07-11T19:38:00Z")
\ What happened to her hair? And her chest looks like a skeleton’s. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/13 "2003-07-11T19:43:04Z")
Ugh she looks like shit. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/14 "2003-07-11T19:47:53Z")
Bwhaaa! “I am Gumby, dammit!” ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/15 "2003-07-11T19:57:28Z")
Is it just me or does she look like Edie Falco in that picture? ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/16 "2003-07-11T20:05:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **"Near, far, wher** _eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvv\*\*\*er you are…" > > I am _so_ gonna go to hell for that. 😃 \*\* From the “What you talkin bout, Willis!” look on her face, I’d say she heard you **RTFirefly** ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/17 "2003-07-11T20:09:31Z")
Yeek. At the risk of being whooshed, if she’s fat, I should have satellites orbiting me. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/18 "2003-07-11T20:12:38Z")
If I had to choose between listening to Celine Dione or Whitney Houston, I’d probably just slit my wrists instead. ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/19 "2003-07-11T20:15:58Z")
Celine is disgustingly thin. No human who has access to food should look like she does. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769/20 "2003-07-11T20:20:58Z")
I um, like Celine Dion. _ducks_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/celine-dion-is-so-stupid-and-fat/187769.md?page=2)