# Channel Four to air Wank-a-thon. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168 "2006-07-19T13:47:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/1 "2006-07-19T13:47:41Z")
[God, I love Channel 4](http://travel.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1823328,00.html). > [@](#): > > The event will encourage Londoners - both male and female - to sign up sponsors and head to Clerkenwell in order to masturbate in front of hundreds of others. > > Zig Zag said in its blurb for the show: “This year it’s time to bring the event across the pond to see if the great British public can embrace mass public masturbation. It’s time to find out if the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain are upper lips.” > > Prizes will be on offer for those who clock up the most orgasms and those who can masturbate the longest - the current record, according to the organisers, is a chafing eight-and-a-half hours. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/2 "2006-07-19T13:52:57Z")
Remember, folks, this is for Charity. Give 'til it hurts! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/3 "2006-07-19T14:00:49Z")
Wow. Who did they pole to determine if this was a solid idea? 'Cos however they came by that notion, they were given the shaft. What’s the slogan? “Spare the child and spoil the rod?” “Let’s pull together?” I’m sure someone thought of one of these as a stroke of genius – there’s so much potential fodder here you’d have to beat the ideas off with a stick. Well, never mind. I’m spent. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/4 "2006-07-19T14:03:19Z")
MPSIMS: the ideal forum for tossing out weird news stories. I wonder how may people will come? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/5 "2006-07-19T14:04:27Z")
Won’t somebody think of the kittens? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/6 "2006-07-19T14:07:44Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Wow. Who did they pole to determine if this was a solid idea? 'Cos however they came by that notion, they were given the shaft. What’s the slogan? “Spare the child and spoil the rod?” “Let’s pull together?” I’m sure someone thought of one of these as a stroke of genius – there’s so much potential fodder here you’d have to beat the ideas off with a stick. Well, never mind. I’m spent. [/QUOTE] Whew! What a release, I was afraid you’d shot your wad in the “Darwin Award” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/7 "2006-07-19T14:46:05Z")
Already this thread is e-wrecked. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/8 "2006-07-19T16:16:35Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] Whew! What a release, I was afraid you’d shot your wad in the “Darwin Award” thread. [/QUOTE] Nah, I have plenty of spunk. I just need to pace myself lest I unload all my good stuff prematurely. This topic though is just whacked so I had to get my hands dirty once again, toss off a few more zingers, keep the juices flowing, y’know? I may pop up again later on – If I feel up to it. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/9 "2006-07-19T16:20:53Z")
Word of advice. Don’t wear your nice clothes. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/10 "2006-07-19T16:29:09Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Wow. Who did they pole to determine if this was a solid idea? 'Cos however they came by that notion, they were given the shaft. What’s the slogan? “Spare the child and spoil the rod?” “Let’s pull together?” I’m sure someone thought of one of these as a stroke of genius – there’s so much potential fodder here you’d have to beat the ideas off with a stick. Well, never mind. I’m spent. [/QUOTE] I love this post! ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/11 "2006-07-19T17:04:17Z")
Damn. I… yeah. No. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/12 "2006-07-19T17:19:16Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] Damn. I… yeah. No. Never mind. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I almost made just about the same post. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/13 "2006-07-19T17:23:11Z")
I can’t make it. I gotta take a shower that day. A realllllly long one. With a fresh bar of soap. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/14 "2006-07-19T17:28:06Z")
How much are tickets? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/15 "2006-07-19T17:34:49Z")
> [@blurb](#): > > Prizes will be on offer [sic] for those who clock up the most orgasms How will they tell whether the women contestants are faking? ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/16 "2006-07-20T01:00:07Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] How will they tell whether the women contestants are faking? [/QUOTE] By whether or not they have the urge to snuggle up and talk to the guy next to them afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/17 "2006-07-20T09:42:10Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] I wonder how may people will come? [/QUOTE] Hopefully all of them. Multiple times. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/18 "2006-07-20T11:11:01Z")
I’ll…be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/19 "2006-07-20T12:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=Sage Rat] I’ll…be in my bunk. [/QUOTE] Yes, practise makes perfect, so keep it up. Beat the competition and you might just come into your own. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-four-to-air-wank-a-thon/365168/20 "2006-07-20T13:23:38Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Beat the competition… [/QUOTE] So many “own goal” jokes to choose from…