# Channel Surfing Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002 "2004-07-20T14:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/21 "2004-07-21T10:45:31Z")
…70 A.D., the year when Rome launched an attack against… …the Brady Bunch! The Brady Bunch! That’s the way they all became… …the most venemous snakes in Africa. Their fangs can pierce… …a ten foot thick wall of steel. Japanese planes buzzed overhead while… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/22 "2004-07-21T12:42:49Z")
…Greenspan’s comments panicked… …this herd of wildebeest, which… …fell underneath the back seat and now… …my heartburn’s gone! Thanks to… ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/23 "2004-07-21T18:54:59Z")
“. . .my own brother: a goddamn shitsucking. . .” “. . .gay, not that there’s anything wrong with. . .” “. . .bounty. . .the quicker picker. . .” “. . .upper penisular is experiencing high. . .” ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/24 "2004-07-21T19:07:49Z")
…extra absorbent Tampons for when you… …need to feed a crowd in a hurry? Try Swanson’s… …new and improved two ply… …wood flooring in the entrance. Next the home owners… …took credit for the latest carbombing in… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/25 "2004-07-21T19:55:50Z")
…the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching… …me wet my beak a little. I hear you and your friends cleared… …a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll… …alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me… ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/26 "2004-07-21T21:06:55Z")
…to the Moon Alice! Why, I oughta… …kiss you like you’ve never been kissed… …on the whole, this looks a bit… …dope Y’all. And now the next single from… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/27 "2004-07-21T21:43:12Z")
…serial killer Wayne Gayce was not to be denied. He lured the young… …goat into the barn, where the chickens don’t seem too fond of their new… …car! Mattie Wetsputle, come one down! You’re the next constestant on… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/28 "2004-07-21T22:52:31Z")
…my, Dick. Gracious no, I’ve never even heard of… …Buffalo, while over in Utica you can expect at least two more inches of… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/29 "2004-07-22T00:48:00Z")
…rich, creamy butter for $2.39 per pound. We’re also offering red seedless grapes from… …one of the deepest cave systems on earth. Down here, the only animals are blind cave crickets, and eyeless albino cave… …Major league baseball players, making Pedro Martinez one of the highest paid… …greasy, ground-in stains, the kind you think you’ll never get out. But with new… …pygmy marmoset climbs into the branches in search of food, always on the lookout for the deadly… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/30 "2004-07-22T01:18:11Z")
… Mira Sorvino on Letterman tonight. Now stay… … in the toilet. Use the brush … … with our secret blend of herbs and … ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/31 "2004-07-22T03:50:42Z")
…Basil, be a dear and go… …drive over the water, bouncing onto the green… …buds of early spring, carefully prune… …your thumb and forefinger, gently squeeze… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/32 "2004-07-22T09:48:48Z")
…my Chesapeake Bay bundt cake. That’s a good thing, and I’m Martha… …Washington. But British commanders had other ideas. With snow as deep as… …20,000 feet. Military jets can cruise even higher. It all begins… …tonight at eleven: how you can keep your family safe from… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/33 "2004-07-22T11:56:55Z")
…the letters Q and E, and the number … …$27,990, fully loaded, with … …Halle Berry as “Catwoman.” Her costar, Benjamin Bratt, talked to our … …enormous warehouse of furniture! Bedroom sets for … ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/34 "2004-07-22T15:14:29Z")
. . .tinky winky, la la, po. . . . . .boy-ar-dee. . . . . .eeeeee-yeessss. . . . . .tea plunge. . . . . .in the butt, bob. . . . . .roberts, former child. . . ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/35 "2004-07-22T16:20:37Z")
…and current spiritual leader of two hundred million… …of your closest friends! Take a limo ride… …to hell! Where Lucifer and all his minions… …are hosting Bingo night at the Sheraton Grand… ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/36 "2004-07-22T16:36:00Z")
. . .Slam breakfast at Denny’s for only 3 ninety-. . . . . .nine Pennsylvania miners are still trapped in. . . . . .Poughkepsie. I saw you. You sat on the edge of a dock and stuck your finger between your. . . . . .wiener. Yes, that is what I really want to be. For if I were an. . . ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/37 "2004-07-22T21:29:30Z")
…Oscar for his role in _Gladiator_, an epic and monumental… …piece o’ crap! Dang it, Jed. Tell that boy to bring me a hickory stick so’s I can… …show you how to release the special power you have within, the power to… ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/38 "2004-07-22T21:44:28Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > …show you how to release the special power you have within, the power to… “…Set it, and FORGET IT! Now let’s look in on Pat, who’s currently making…” “…more money? Sure, we all do! Just send away for your free booklet, and get on the road to your new career. You can major in Business Administration, TV/VCR repair, or…” “…traveling through hyperspace isn’t like dusting crops, boy. Without the right calculations, you could fly through a star or bounce up to a supernova and that’d…” “…broil your rump roast for 35 minutes at 450 degrees. Mmm! Just look at the juicy…” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/39 "2004-07-23T06:19:50Z")
" … young girl going away to college for the first time… " " … in the Mesozoic Era, when dinosaurs ruled the… " " … noted rap artist arrested for marijuana possession… " " … on Calvary, also known as Golgotha, where Jesus… " ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002/40 "2004-07-23T10:56:37Z")
…lost 40 pounds in two weeks! It was easy! All I did was take this tiny pill! For only… …the fifth time, Jeremy, I do love you. But I can’t be with you because I love… …hot dogs, Armour hot dogs! The dog kids love to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/channel-surfing-game/256002.md?page=3)