# Character names not likely to be in the phone book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593 "2006-01-25T19:35:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/21 "2006-01-25T22:02:17Z")
I went to college with a gal by the name of Sandy Clay. Her middle name was Georgia, honest! ---
**Author:** ![Analogue\_Skywalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Analogue\_Skywalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Analogue_Skywalker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/22 "2006-01-25T22:10:03Z")
If someone is going to mention Pussy Galore, I am going to go and say that there are probably no one of Skywalker linage in the phonebook. I was ready to say there is probably not a Bing, Chandler listed. However, [whitepages.com](http://whitepages.com) lists a one Bing, Chandler living in Chicago ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/23 "2006-01-25T22:34:13Z")
“Hope Hubris”, main character of Piers Anthony’s _Bio of a Space Tyrant_ series. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/24 "2006-01-25T22:35:44Z")
D’ya think there might be a Mr. Smokes-Too-Much in the Raleigh directory? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/25 "2006-01-25T22:37:37Z")
Napolean Solo…or for that matter, Napolean Dynamite. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/26 "2006-01-25T23:00:21Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > Any character played by either Groucho Marx or W.C. Fields. Besides the ones already mentioned, Groucho played characters with such [legitimate surnames](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000050/) as Spaulding, Miller, Deveraux, Keck, and Linn. [Fields](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001211/)’s roles included Commodore Jackson, Cornelius O’Hare, Richard Whitehead, Elmer Finch, and Pa Potter. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/27 "2006-01-25T23:01:51Z")
David Cronenberg fills his movies with bizzarre, must-be-made-up character names. I’m too tired to search, but from The Fly alone: Seth Brundle Veronica Quaife Stathis Borands And also from eXistenZ Allegra Geller Ted Pikul Yevgeny Nourish And from Videodrome Bianca O’Blivion Max Renn Barry Convex Jesus, David! Do you use a boggle cube to pick these names? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/28 "2006-01-25T23:09:33Z")
Another writer whose characters’ names strain belief is William Faulkner, although some of them undergo a little softening on their way to the screen. One such would be Flem Snopes. Tennessee Williams’s folks are another example. Sister Woman and Gooper from _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ are personal favorites. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/29 "2006-01-25T23:15:23Z")
Humbert Humbert ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/30 "2006-01-25T23:22:15Z")
Biggus Dickus and his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/31 "2006-01-25T23:30:58Z")
Moist von Lipwig from _Going Postal_ might be tricky to find in the phone book, but has a great deal of humor value. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/32 "2006-01-25T23:35:24Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > David Cronenberg fills his movies with bizzarre, must-be-made-up character names. > > I’m too tired to search, but from The Fly alone: > > Seth Brundle > Veronica Quaife > Stathis Borands 27 Brundles, 74 Quaifes, but no Borands in the phone book. > [@](#): > > Allegra Geller > Ted Pikul > Yevgeny Nourish 231 Pikuls (including one ‘T.M.’ and one Theodore), only one Nourish (a Julie in Las Vegas), and too many Gellers to list, but no Allegras. > [@](#): > > Bianca O’Blivion > Max Renn > Barry Convex Too many Renns, and nearly 300 of them starting with ‘M’, but no Convexes or (obviously) O’Blivions ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/33 "2006-01-26T00:06:34Z")
Having recently discovered Robert A. Wilson, I checked [whitepages.com](http://whitepages.com) for M. (as in Markov) Chaney and H. (as in Hagbard) Celine. Quite a few M. Chaneys and actually one H. Celine in New Jersey. I also had to look for a Gonzalez Gonzalez that lived in Gonzalez, TX. To my utter surprise I did find a Gonzalez Gonzalez that lives in Texas, but not in Gonzalez, Texas. Life imitates art, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/34 "2006-01-26T00:27:08Z")
From _Dr. Strangelove_: President Merkin Muffley Col. “Bat” Guano ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/35 "2006-01-26T00:46:12Z")
Tons & tons of _MPFC_ names could be listed (as have a few already, I see). Some that come to my mind: Adrian Wapkaplet Mrs. S.C.U.M. Norman Sinjin(sp)-Polevaulter Ron Obvious Mr. (can’t remember his first name) Throat-Warbler Mangrove (actually pronounce “Luxury Yacht” - and “yacht” was mispronounced with the “ch” not being silent, I might add) I could look up a bunch more tonight, but you probably don’t really want me to. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/36 "2006-01-26T00:51:01Z")
The movie _Fletch_ included such gems as Dr. Rosenpenis, Mr. Sinlinin, John Cocktoastin, and of course, Fletch F. Fletch. (“I’m a shepherd…I like men…I like…you.”) A 1987 article in _Spy_ magazine concerned a freelance writer with a lot of time on his hands who passed a good deal of it getting on mass-mailing lists, which would send all kinds of personalized offers and cover letters to the likes of Prof. Drano Lummox, Oovus Oosfuz, Whip Blah, Jr., Publique B. Dammed, Bunni d’Hottub (of Producer’s Girlfriend Pictures Inc.), Rasputin Pianothrower, and the popular 1940s B-movie actor [Guy Inagorillasuit](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=guy+inagorillasuit). ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/37 "2006-01-26T00:54:39Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > Mr. (can’t remember his first name) Throat-Warbler Mangrove (actually pronounce “Luxury Yacht” Raymond. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/38 "2006-01-26T00:56:22Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Another writer whose characters’ names strain belief is William Faulkner, although some of them undergo a little softening on their way to the screen. One such would be Flem Snopes. I read that book. The guy picks up a vanishing hitchhiker. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/39 "2006-01-26T01:04:50Z")
Captain Kangaroo. Did he have a first name? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/40 "2006-01-26T01:13:23Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > I read that book. The guy picks up a vanishing hitchhiker. No – he was the one who proved the hitchiker didn’t exist. A few more from literature: Berzelius “Buzz” Windrip Philip “Pip” Pirrip Abel Magwitch Ebeneezer Scrooge Uriah Heep Nicholas Nickelby Father Gassalasca Jape, SJ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593.md?page=3)