# Character names not likely to be in the phone book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593 "2006-01-25T19:35:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/41 "2006-01-26T12:59:35Z")
> [@Analogue Skywalker](#): > > If someone is going to mention Pussy Galore, I am going to go and say that there are probably no one of Skywalker linage in the phonebook. > > I was ready to say there is probably not a Bing, Chandler listed. However, [whitepages.com](http://whitepages.com) lists a one Bing, Chandler living in Chicago But is there a Ms. Chanandler Bong? ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/42 "2006-01-26T13:04:53Z")
Zaphod Beeblebrox? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/43 "2006-01-26T13:46:48Z")
Unless you count the real life people in Vincent Bugliosi’s _Helter Skelter_ as _characters_, Susan Atkins’s (Sadie Mae Glutz’s) child Zezozose Zadfrack Glutz can’t be a real contender in this thread. On the other hand, I wonder how that child (born late 60’s) has made out in this life away from “the family.” I can’t remember any news items concerning him, nor have I seen his name in the credits for any movies or TV shows. Maybe he’s in higher learning or maybe he went into medicine. Or runs a Roto Rooter route. Quien sabe? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/44 "2006-01-26T14:39:25Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Captain Kangaroo. > > Did he have a first name? Ima. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/45 "2006-01-26T15:04:43Z")
Well, there may very well be a Rufus T. Firefly in the phone book, but… I know a pair of morning disc jockeys whose home phone numbers are listed in the phone book as Randle P. McMurphy (yeah, Jack Nicholson’s character in “Cuckoo’s Nest”) and Hrundi Bakshi (Peter Sellers’ hapless Indian character in “The Party”). So, I’d say it’s far more likely that the “Rufus T. Firefly” in the phone book is a Groucho fan who obtained a phone under that name as a joke than that someone actually has that name. - Among the most unlikely names I can think of: MARION COBRETTI: I’m almost positive that Sylvester Stallone wanted to call his character “Cobra,” and then made up an Italian-sounding family name to justify the nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/46 "2006-01-26T16:41:01Z")
How about some from the novels of Thomas Pynchon: Benny Profane Herbert Stencil Oedipa Maas Pierce Inverarity Mike Fallopian Genghis Cohen Tyrone Slothrop Roger Mexico Jessica Swanlake Teddy Bloat Geli Tripping Tantivy Mucker-Maffick Scorpia Mossmoon Ernest Pudding ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/47 "2006-01-26T16:44:12Z")
My hometown phonebook had a listing for **Trombone, TJ**. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/48 "2006-01-26T17:01:58Z")
I didn’t think there’d be a Thomas Covenant, but there is exactly one listed at Switchboard, and while there’s no Linden Avery, there are many “L” Averys so maybe one of them actually is a Linden… No Saltheart Foamfollowers, though, oddly enough. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/49 "2006-01-26T17:33:11Z")
Anastsia Beaverhausen Regina Phelangie ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/50 "2006-01-26T17:58:01Z")
There is a real person called [Yahoo Serious](http://www.yahooserious.com/) – born with the more mundane name of Greg Pead. Some years ago, I checked and he wasn’t in the phone book, but I did find him and his wife under the surname “Serious” in the Australian electoral roll. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/51 "2006-01-26T18:45:44Z")
> [@Analogue Skywalker](#): > > If someone is going to mention Pussy Galore, I am going to go and say that there are probably no one of Skywalker linage in the phonebook. Phone companies don’t care if people are listed by their real name or not. [Whitepages.com](http://Whitepages.com) lists five Luke Skywalkers and one Annikan. ---
**Author:** ![M.Meursault](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@M.Meursault](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/M.Meursault)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/52 "2006-01-26T18:55:41Z")
I would imagine there are few Ignatius J. Reillys, although it was used as a name for a hypothetical in my Contracts book (which seems to have a very literary sense of humor for things like that). Reilly was selling land to Myrna Minkoff (snort) with an oral contract. For shame… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/53 "2006-01-27T03:33:26Z")
I would guess pretty much anyone with the last name **Hitler** would not care to go by it publicly. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/54 "2006-01-27T03:47:41Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I would guess pretty much anyone with the last name **Hitler** would not care to go by it publicly. Well when I was stationed in Germany I did look. No luck. “That’s _Hilter_!” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/55 "2006-01-27T04:00:32Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > No – he was the one who proved the hitchiker didn’t exist. > > A few more from literature: > > Berzelius “Buzz” Windrip > Philip “Pip” Pirrip > Abel Magwitch > Ebeneezer Scrooge > Uriah Heep > Nicholas Nickelby > Father Gassalasca Jape, SJ Not to mention Martin Chuzzlewit. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/56 "2006-01-27T04:06:03Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Well when I was stationed in Germany I did look. No luck. Apparently, Hitler’s bloodline is still [out there](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050211.html), except they have (obviously) changed their surname, presumably to [Stewart-Houston](http://www.fpp.co.uk/Hitler/family/Bastin.html) (after a British author who had many of the same race beliefs as Hitler). There are some people out there unrelated with the Hitler last name, and I believe I read that at there’s at least one Adolf Hitler living today. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/57 "2006-01-27T04:26:19Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > Apparently, Hitler’s bloodline is still [out there](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050211.html), except they have (obviously) changed their surname, presumably to [Stewart-Houston](http://www.fpp.co.uk/Hitler/family/Bastin.html) (after a British author who had many of the same race beliefs as Hitler). There are some people out there unrelated with the Hitler last name, and I believe I read that at there’s at least one Adolf Hitler living today. I was aware of that. Though I don’t remember the Dope article I do remember reading an article a few years ago, probably in the New Yorker. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/58 "2006-01-27T05:52:13Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > Allegra Geller What’s weird about that one? Geller is a common name. You’ve got two of them right here on the boards. Allegra is an unusual name, but I’ve personally met two Allegras. I don’t think “Allegra Geller” is particularly euphonious, what with all the hard g’s and double l’s and such, but it’s hardly up there with Mike Fallopian. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/59 "2006-01-27T13:34:55Z")
You need to dig deeper into your literature. **Charles Dickensd** used to make up names all the time that you’d have a hard time locating. From Wikipedia: > [@](#): > > The characters are among the most memorable in English literature, certainly their names are. The likes of Ebenezer Scrooge, Fagin, Mrs Gamp, Micawber, Pecksniff, Miss Havisham, Wackford Squeers and many others are so well known and can be believed to be living a life outside the novels that their stories have been continued by other authors Chuzzlewit? Scrooge? Fezziwig? Run through his novels and you’ll find a few real names, but Dickens seemed to love coming up with weird English surnames. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593/60 "2006-01-27T13:36:10Z")
From this site: [http://www.fidnet.com/~dap1955/dickens/characters.html](http://www.fidnet.com/~dap1955/dickens/characters.html) > [@](#): > > Names of Dickens’ characters are some of the most unique in fiction. Characters such as Sweedlepipe, Honeythunder, Bumble, Pumblechook, and M’Choakumchild are recognizable as Dickensian even by those unfamiliar with the stories. Interesting directory to his characters. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/character-names-not-likely-to-be-in-the-phone-book/341593.md?page=4)