Character names not likely to be in the phone book

I went to college with a gal by the name of Sandy Clay. Her middle name was Georgia, honest!

If someone is going to mention Pussy Galore, I am going to go and say that there are probably no one of Skywalker linage in the phonebook.

I was ready to say there is probably not a Bing, Chandler listed. However, whitepages.com lists a one Bing, Chandler living in Chicago

“Hope Hubris”, main character of Piers Anthony’s Bio of a Space Tyrant series.

D’ya think there might be a Mr. Smokes-Too-Much in the Raleigh directory?

Napolean Solo…or for that matter, Napolean Dynamite.

Besides the ones already mentioned, Groucho played characters with such legitimate surnames as Spaulding, Miller, Deveraux, Keck, and Linn. Fields’s roles included Commodore Jackson, Cornelius O’Hare, Richard Whitehead, Elmer Finch, and Pa Potter.

David Cronenberg fills his movies with bizzarre, must-be-made-up character names.

I’m too tired to search, but from The Fly alone:

Seth Brundle
Veronica Quaife
Stathis Borands

And also from eXistenZ

Allegra Geller
Ted Pikul
Yevgeny Nourish

And from Videodrome

Bianca O’Blivion
Max Renn
Barry Convex

Jesus, David! Do you use a boggle cube to pick these names?

Another writer whose characters’ names strain belief is William Faulkner, although some of them undergo a little softening on their way to the screen. One such would be Flem Snopes.

Tennessee Williams’s folks are another example. Sister Woman and Gooper from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof are personal favorites.

Humbert Humbert

Biggus Dickus
and his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks

Moist von Lipwig from Going Postal might be tricky to find in the phone book, but has a great deal of humor value.

27 Brundles, 74 Quaifes, but no Borands in the phone book.

231 Pikuls (including one ‘T.M.’ and one Theodore), only one Nourish (a Julie in Las Vegas), and too many Gellers to list, but no Allegras.

Too many Renns, and nearly 300 of them starting with ‘M’, but no Convexes or (obviously) O’Blivions

Having recently discovered Robert A. Wilson, I checked whitepages.com for M. (as in Markov) Chaney and H. (as in Hagbard) Celine. Quite a few M. Chaneys and actually one H. Celine in New Jersey.
I also had to look for a Gonzalez Gonzalez that lived in Gonzalez, TX. To my utter surprise I did find a Gonzalez Gonzalez that lives in Texas, but not in Gonzalez, Texas. Life imitates art, I suppose.

From Dr. Strangelove:

President Merkin Muffley
Col. “Bat” Guano

Tons & tons of MPFC names could be listed (as have a few already, I see).

Some that come to my mind:

Adrian Wapkaplet

Mrs. S.C.U.M.

Norman Sinjin(sp)-Polevaulter

Ron Obvious

Mr. (can’t remember his first name) Throat-Warbler Mangrove (actually pronounce “Luxury Yacht” - and “yacht” was mispronounced with the “ch” not being silent, I might add)

I could look up a bunch more tonight, but you probably don’t really want me to. :slight_smile:

The movie Fletch included such gems as Dr. Rosenpenis, Mr. Sinlinin, John Cocktoastin, and of course, Fletch F. Fletch. (“I’m a shepherd…I like men…I like…you.”)

A 1987 article in Spy magazine concerned a freelance writer with a lot of time on his hands who passed a good deal of it getting on mass-mailing lists, which would send all kinds of personalized offers and cover letters to the likes of Prof. Drano Lummox, Oovus Oosfuz, Whip Blah, Jr., Publique B. Dammed, Bunni d’Hottub (of Producer’s Girlfriend Pictures Inc.), Rasputin Pianothrower, and the popular 1940s B-movie actor Guy Inagorillasuit.

Raymond.

I read that book. The guy picks up a vanishing hitchhiker.

Captain Kangaroo.

Did he have a first name?

No – he was the one who proved the hitchiker didn’t exist.

A few more from literature:

Berzelius “Buzz” Windrip
Philip “Pip” Pirrip
Abel Magwitch
Ebeneezer Scrooge
Uriah Heep
Nicholas Nickelby
Father Gassalasca Jape, SJ