# Characters in movies and TV that have ridiculously bad fortune **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 1, 2007, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280 "2007-05-01T07:51:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/1 "2007-05-01T07:51:29Z")
TVwise: I can’t help but think of David Morse’s character in _St. Elsewhere._ His wife dies in a weird accident. He gets raped by a convict during a prison program. His child gets kidnapped. His rapist stalks him when he gets out. His best friend was a rapist, and he’s slow to pick up on that. His new girlfriend leaves him. Dude was a total Walking Wound. Moviewise: Watched the obscure 80s exploitation film [Vendetta](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092156/) recently. The character Bonnie gets raped at gunpoint, then shoots the attacker in the middle of the rape, yet gets sent to prison for being a vigilante. “You can’t take the law into your own hands,” the judge says before he sentences her to prison. WTF! Her first day in prison, Bonnie is beaten to death by a cranky lesbian inmate and her crew who don’t like her attitude. Poor Bonnie. Others? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/2 "2007-05-01T08:10:10Z")
Two words: Jack Bauer. In six seasons – hell, technically just six _days_ – on _24_, the guy has had his wife murdered by his turncoat ex-lover, been alienated from his daughter, forced to kill not one but _two_ of his fellow CTU employees, been captured and tortured for two years by the Chinese, asked to go on suicide missions by his own government, become addicted to heroin as part of an undercover operation, seen his girlfriend captured, tortured, and traumatized (this after alienating _her_ by causing the death of her ex-husband), and seen almost every one of his closest colleagues die in front of him or because of him. Not to mention having to repeatedly go 24 hours without taking a piss. I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Anybody want to add to the list of Jack Misery? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/3 "2007-05-01T10:05:20Z")
Susan in _Desperate Housewives_. I described her yesterday as a land mine covered with skin. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/4 "2007-05-01T12:33:38Z")
Prison Break’s [Benjamin Miles “C-Note” Franklin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Miles_%22C-Note%22_Franklin) is a guy that just can’t get a break. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/5 "2007-05-01T12:40:30Z")
Andy Sipowitz in **NYPD Blue**. Everyone he was friends with either died, lost his job, or got some terrible disease. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/6 "2007-05-01T14:19:01Z")
Well that was that guy on ER (no I can’t remeber his name, but you know who I mean) who got his arm cut off by a helecopter. And then got squashed like a bug by a helecpoter. Of course he was a total asshole so no one cared but still… ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/7 "2007-05-01T14:25:41Z")
George Costanza. That poor, poor man. [chokes back tears] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/8 "2007-05-01T14:26:41Z")
The OP is absolutely right. David Morse character on _St. Elsewhere_ is the perfect example. Poor guy. And then there’s Buck Owens on _Hee-Haw_: “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all… doom, despair, and agony on me…” ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/9 "2007-05-01T14:45:00Z")
Aquaman. As an infant, Aquaman was left to die because he had blond hair. He survived because of his powers and because he was adopted by a pod of dolphins. He was later adopted by a lighthouse keeper, who eventually abandoned him. His worst enemy turned out to be his half-brother. He was continually being tossed out of his own kingdom. He married, but kept breaking up with his wife. His hand was eaten by piranha. His girlfriend was stolen by his former sidekick. His first son was murdered as an infant. His second son was murdered as a teenager, when Atlantis was completely destroyed. He got turned into a squidfaced creature half made of water. And he’s currently dead, killed by his son brought back from the dead. All the while, he’s been derided as lame, mostly because the writers for the Superfriends didn’t know what to do with him. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/10 "2007-05-01T15:53:48Z")
Hell, how about the entire cast of **ER**? The following things have happened there, which affected more or less the whole cast: Helicopter crash. Held at gunpoint, multiple times. Kidnapping. Prisoner-police shootout. Exploding ambulance due to grenade launcher. Massive deadly chemical spill. Fire. Vehicles crashing through the front door. Patient riots. Smallpox outbreak. Fatal and near-fatal stabbings of coworkers. Coworker suicide. Not to mention the various risky, difficult, near-fatal pregnancies and deliveries by the cast, and the various cancers and surgeries they survive or sometimes don’t. To a lesser extent, you have things like getting shot at on the freeway and your car plunging off the bridge into deep water. If these are routine occurrences at my local hospital, I’m getting all my medical care from the guy with feathers in his hair and a shrunken monkey head. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/11 "2007-05-01T16:10:32Z")
Kelly Taylor on _90210_ was a doom magnet too. She was raped (twice!), stalked, stabbed by her stalker, shot, had a miscarriage, got hooked on cocaine (just like her mom!), joined a cult, and was traumatized after shooting and killing the man who raped her. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/12 "2007-05-01T16:10:46Z")
Al Bundy: His wife literally does nothing but complain about his paycheck while spending it. His daughter is a dumb slut. His son tops out at 5’2" tall and 120 lbs. soaking wet and will never follow in Al’s football legacy. His father-in-law comes straight out of Hee Haw. His mother-in-law needs a crane to move. His best friend is a gigolo. His best friend’s wife is a shrew with chicken legs. He works at a cheap women’s shoe store. He drives a 20+ year old Dodge. He’s been arrested numerous times. He’s been electrocuted, beaten up, fell off the house, attacked by dogs and other physical abuse. In “It’s a Bundy Life”, he finds out everyone in his family would have been better off had he never been born (and his wife would have married the gigolo next door…sorta). Every time he gets a financial windfall, he winds up owing it back to someone. Because Al has persevered through all the abuse he has, he is my hero. ---
**Author:** ![percussion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@percussion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percussion)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/13 "2007-05-01T16:33:46Z")
martin short in pure luck ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/14 "2007-05-01T16:36:03Z")
Aeon Flux (the Liquid Television version, not the movie version). She died every episode! ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/15 "2007-05-01T16:37:33Z")
Gaylord Fokker Is anyone more pathetic? ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/16 "2007-05-01T16:38:01Z")
Frank Grimes and Gil (both from _The Simpsons_). ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/17 "2007-05-01T16:38:18Z")
Most of the characters in [Candide](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candide). Not really a movie or TV, but there is a musical. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/18 "2007-05-01T16:53:05Z")
Although he originated in newspaper comics, he’s appeared on TV and movies as well: Good Ol’ **Charlie Brown**. He never wins. And unlike his comic contemporary Ziggy, he doesn’t have a positive outlook on life- he realizes he’s pathetic. If Charlie Brown was a real person, he probably would have killed himself by now- although he’d probably mess that up, too. ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/19 "2007-05-01T17:03:45Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Bongo] Two words: Jack Bauer. In six seasons – hell, technically just six _days_ – on _24_, the guy has had his wife murdered by his turncoat ex-lover, been alienated from his daughter, forced to kill not one but _two_ of his fellow CTU employees, been captured and tortured for two years by the Chinese, asked to go on suicide missions by his own government, become addicted to heroin as part of an undercover operation, seen his girlfriend captured, tortured, and traumatized (this after alienating _her_ by causing the death of her ex-husband), and seen almost every one of his closest colleagues die in front of him or because of him. Not to mention having to repeatedly go 24 hours without taking a piss. I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Anybody want to add to the list of Jack Misery? [/QUOTE] He’s also left, and separately been fired from CTU (He left in the Day One gap, was fired in the Day Three gap). He had to fake his own death and leave everything at the end of Day Four. He’s been shot multiple times, tortured to the point of cardiac death, and had terribly bad luck with relationships. Tony Almeida from the same series has also had a pretty lousy deal. Being forced to decide between his wife and his country, and subsequently going to prison for treason after choosing his wife. Spending time unemployed and divorced after prison, then pulling his life and marriage back together just in time to watch his wife get blown up by a car bomb. He then gets killed with an overdose of pain-inducing chemicals a few hours later, by the same man who put out the hit on his wife. Rough. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280/20 "2007-05-01T17:15:07Z")
Just last night, this was brought up on 24. Jack Bauer was told to stay away from the woman he loves, by her father, precisely because he’s “cursed”. In her father’s words, “Everything you touch dies.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-and-tv-that-have-ridiculously-bad-fortune/402280.md?page=2)