# Characters in movies that you'd boink in a heartbeat **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405 "2001-05-14T11:16:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/1 "2001-05-14T11:16:47Z")
Sitting there, Monday morning, in your pathetic little cubicle, trying to wake up with a cup of coffeelattechino while desperately clinging to the weekend that just slipped away from you, I, Shirley Ujest, offer you this mental happy place to slip merrily into to help ease your transition into the cold cruel world. What characters would you boink in a heart beat and a brief reason of why you’d lift your skirt/drop your pants. In random order: 1.\*\* Martin Riggs, Lethal Weapon \*\*( Mel Gibson): man on the edge, nearly certifiably crazy, great hair, that _voice_ and naturally, that ohh laa laa body. You’d just know it would be frantic and sweaty. Added cheese factor: in a trailer on the beach.) 1. **Desperado, in the movie with the same name** (Antonio Banderas) Intense, yet playful with a whole lot of candles burning. Bonus round would be the guitar music playing the background. 2. \*\*Ethan Hawke, Mission Impossible 1 or 2 \*\* (Tom Cruise): Something about this nearly three dimensional(but not quite)character who travels the world bunjee jumping just appeals to me. Maybe it was the last line in MI:2, " Let’s go someplace and disappear." (Bonus round, all the high tech equipment. He could get my VCR to stop flashing 12.) 4.\*\*I forget his name, Shag, \*\* (Can’t recall the actors name): He plays oppposite of either Phoebe Cates or Bridget Fonda. he was a sweet potato. 5.\*\*Rob Roy \*\* Rob Roy (Liam Neeson): Tall, great accent, great with his sword, heh. Knows how to treat the ladies, baths regularly ( not common in that time period) and has all his own teeth. A man’s man. Bonus round: The Kilt. 1. \*\*Jake \*\* Silverado. (Kevin Costner): Fun, exuberant, has his own horse. Can twirl guns and you know what they say about a man who is good with his guns. Total charmer. In a heartbeat [growl] 7.\*\*Jake’s brother, Silverado, (Scott Glenn): Craggy features, heart of gold, just trying to make it to Silverado. Also good with this guns (must be a family trait.) I’d give a million bucks to see him smile…all those lines. 2. \*\*Michael Corleone \*\*Godfather: I’d help him forget about that bitch of a wife. Just a weekend in Reno, after he offs Fredo, that’s all I need. I wouldn’t tells no one. 3. \*\*Bully Hayes \*\*, Nate & Hayes (Tommy Lee Jones): Heart of gold, remorseful puppy dog brown eyes, nice body, has his own boat (the Rona) and that voice. Bonus factor, he’s a pirate. That is all I have now, the coffee hasn’t started to kick in. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/2 "2001-05-14T11:17:57Z")
Sorry about the bolding. [tommy boy] I am a retard [/tommy boy] ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/3 "2001-05-14T11:45:16Z")
Holden McNeil from Chasing Amy (Ben Affleck)…hot,sensitive and funny. Brodie from Mallrats (Jason Lee) another hot funny guy. Guess I have a weakness for men who can make me laugh.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/4 "2001-05-14T12:45:24Z")
**Indiana Jones** (Harrison Ford) **Crash Davis** (Kevin Costner) in _Bull Durham_ **Remy McSwain** (Dennis Quaid) in _The Big Easy_ **Skye Masterson** (Marlon Brando) in _Guys and Dolls_ And ::drum roll, please:: **Ben Quick** (Paul Newman) in _The Long, Hot Summer_ I’ve said it before (several times), but it bears repeating: Paul Newman in his 30s was the pinnacle of male evolution. If you don’t believe me, rent _The Long, Hot Summer_. The most gorgeous man _ever_. ---
**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/5 "2001-05-14T12:56:42Z")
Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions…omg ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/6 "2001-05-14T13:01:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jess \* > \*\ ***Indiana Jones** (Harrison Ford) > > **Crash Davis** (Kevin Costner) in _Bull Durham_ > > **Remy McSwain** (Dennis Quaid) in _The Big Easy_ > > **Skye Masterson** (Marlon Brando) in _Guys and Dolls_ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…I would gladly do all these guys in the blink of an eye…after you, naturally, Jess 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/7 "2001-05-14T13:17:00Z")
The Nurse in the 1975 Matthau/Burns _The Sunshine Boys_. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/8 "2001-05-14T13:58:58Z")
Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N. Furter. WHy? Obviously, he looks goooood. ---
**Author:** ![Sparteye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Sparteye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparteye)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/9 "2001-05-15T01:58:27Z")
**Sam Beckett** (Scott Bakula), _Quantum Leap_: multiple doctorates; played guitar and piano and sang; compassionate, empathetic and creative; and gorgeous. **John Crichton** (Ben Browder), _Farscape_: another doctor; clever and funny; and gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/10 "2001-05-15T03:58:56Z")
1. **Uncas** in “The Last of the Mohicans” (he was the next-to-the-last Mohican; played by Eric Shweig) 2. **Han Solo** - Hot. Arrogant. Cool ride. 3. **Martin Blank** - in “Gross Pointe Blank” Mmmm Mmmmm. katie ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/11 "2001-05-15T04:39:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\* > 2. **Desperado, in the movie with the same name** (Antonio Banderas) Intense, yet playful with a whole lot of candles burning. Bonus round would be the guitar music playing the background. > > \*\* Oh my, yes, yes, _yes_! He’s got that dark, brooding look that makes my knees turn to jello. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/12 "2001-05-15T04:51:19Z")
The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show is decent, Sarah Michelle Geller is hot, but next to Kristy Swanson, she’s nothing, ya hear me? NOTHING!!! Carolina (Desperado - Salma Hayek). Enough said. The Princess of Wales (Braveheart - Sophie Marceau). ditto. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/13 "2001-05-15T04:59:03Z")
> [@](#): > > 7.Jake’s brother, Silverado, (Scott Glenn): Craggy features, heart of gold, just trying to make it to > Silverado. Also good with this guns (must be a family trait.) I’d give a million bucks to see him smile…all > those lines. Emmit. And I agree 100%. > [@](#): > > Ben Quick (Paul Newman) in The Long, Hot Summer > > ``` > I've said it before (several times), but it bears repeating: Paul Newman in his 30s was the pinnacle of male evolution. > If you don't believe me, rent The Long, Hot Summer. The most gorgeous man ever. > > ``` _sigh_ He is so _perfect_ in that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/14 "2001-05-15T10:01:52Z")
Henry, in **Henry V**. Kenneth Branagh at his most charming. The scene where he flirts with his new French bride (Emma Thompson) gets me every time. \ Vladmir Ivanoff, in **Moscow on the Hudson**. Lighweight movie, but Robin Williams is absolutely adorable in it. I like 'em short, furry, and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Joyfulgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Joyfulgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joyfulgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/15 "2001-05-15T11:22:34Z")
**Sam (Johnny Depp)** from \*\* Benny and Joon (sp?)\*\* - Something about a guy who can spin hubcaps and make dinner rolls dance… ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/16 "2001-05-15T12:55:12Z")
Pretty much any character played by John Cusack, Aidan Quinn, Gary Sinese or Chow Yun-Fat. (Okay, I know I didn’t answer the question quite right, but I’m sticking with it 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/17 "2001-05-15T13:04:12Z")
[quote] _Kinsey said this_ **Pretty much any character played by…Chow Yun-Fat** Asians rock!!! I can’t say anything about Chow, but Sung Hi Lee, omg have you seen her? Too much of a good thing ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/18 "2001-05-15T13:20:38Z")
**Rocky** in **The Rocky Horror Picture Show** –blond, muscled, and not too bright; I like that in a man. **Hercules** as played by Steve Reeves. Woof! **Mad Max** –gotta love a man in leather **Han Solo** –Harrison Ford at his most luscious **Maximus** –Russell Crowe in a toga, all buff and oiled… ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/19 "2001-05-15T18:05:33Z")
Minnie Driver in _Big Night._ So sweet, so warm, so delicious. Sandra Bullock in _While You Were Sleeping._ One of the characters wasn’t even awake and he fell in love with her! Jean Arthur in _The More the Merrier._ One of my favorites from the screwball comedy era. She always came across as vulnerable and good-hearted. Joey Lauren Adams in _Chasing Amy._ Gorgeous, thoughtful and smart. What a turn-on. Of course, I would have to fall in _love_ before I commenced boinking. That’s because I’m so sensitive. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/20 "2001-05-15T18:23:12Z")
Carrie Fisher in Return of the Jedi. Gotta love the gold bikini… Mystique in X-Men. Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer). Meow! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405.md?page=2)