# Characters in movies that you'd boink in a heartbeat **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405 "2001-05-14T11:16:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/41 "2001-05-16T15:43:41Z")
Susan Parrish (Claire Forlani) in “Meet Joe Black” I could end my list right here and be content! Luce (Sandra Bullock) in “While You Were Sleeping” Allison Jones (Bridget Fonda) in “Single White Female” Stephanie (Ally Sheedy) in “Short Circuit” ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/42 "2001-05-16T15:47:37Z")
Jennifer Connely’s character in The Rocketeer. Beautiful, wholesome, and boy can she fill out a dress. \> Natasha Henstridge, Sil in Species Dr. Lao, are you sure that’s a good idea? Sure, she looked good, but it might prove…painful. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/43 "2001-05-16T15:50:58Z")
Oh, Bond Girls Onzatop (sp?) from **Goldeneye** Sophie Marceau as Elektra King from **The World is Not Enough** ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/44 "2001-05-16T15:55:29Z")
Oh! How could I forget Leelee Sobieski’s character from Never Been Kissed? I love brilliant, quirky, slightly cynical nerds who just happen to also be incredibly gorgeous women. Of course, both of my picks would probably be pissed that I can’t remember their names. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/45 "2001-05-16T16:04:52Z")
My god…nobody has said WOLVERINE? WOLVERINE WOLVERINE WOLVERINE… and Darth Maul. yummy, evil, unreal darth maul I’d do both of them together, or separately in succession, or just on a one on one basis. But I guess I should pick a human… Castor Troy (Nicholas Cage) in Face Off is way hot. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/46 "2001-05-16T22:49:54Z")
As is so often the case with me, the only problem here will be keeping it brief… Lauren Bacall as Slim in “To Have and Have Not” Ingrid Bergman as Ilsa in “Casablanca” Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Natasha Kinski from “Cat People” The Succubus chick from “Ninth Gate” Selma Hayek as Carolina in “Desperado” Eliza Dushku as Faith in BtVS (TV) Elizabeth Ward Gracen as Amanda from “Highlander: the series” Minne Driver as Debbie in “Grosse Point Blank” Catherine Zeta Jones as Charlie in “High Fideliy” Sarah Michelle Gellar in “Cruel Intentions” (OMG Amen!) Carrie Anne Moss as Trinity in “The Matrix” Whoever played Rogue in “X-Men” ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/47 "2001-05-16T22:49:55Z")
As is so often the case with me, the only problem here will be keeping it brief… Lauren Bacall as Slim in “To Have and Have Not” Ingrid Bergman as Ilsa in “Casablanca” Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Natasha Kinski from “Cat People” The Succubus chick from “Ninth Gate” Selma Hayek as Carolina in “Desperado” Eliza Dushku as Faith in BtVS (TV) Elizabeth Ward Gracen as Amanda from “Highlander: the series” Minne Driver as Debbie in “Grosse Point Blank” Catherine Zeta Jones as Charlie in “High Fideliy” Sarah Michelle Gellar in “Cruel Intentions” (OMG Amen!) Carrie Anne Moss as Trinity in “The Matrix” ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/48 "2001-05-17T07:40:43Z")
. . . this is a subject which has been heavily on my mind as of late. _chuckle_ A brief little list follows: **Fletcher McBracken** from Still Breathing, played by Brendan Fraser. There is no guy this cool, that looks this good. I might go so far as to say I doubt that it’s humanly possible. **Riddick** from Pitch Black, played by Vin Diesel. Oh. My. _God_. Talk about animal magnetism! **Colonel Brandon** from Sense and Sensibility, played by Alan Rickman. A true gentleman, selfless, noble, tortured . . . yummy! And those are just the ones from the movies I rented this weekend . . . 😉 I would also have to include: **Rick O’Connell** or **Ardeth Bey** or **Imhotep** from The Mummy (or The Mummy Returns for that matter). **Justin Matisse** from Hope Floats. **Matthew Quigley** from Quigley Down Under. **Kyle Reese** from The Terminator. **Corporal Hicks** from Aliens. **Brian** from The Truth About Cats and Dogs. **Palmer Joss** from Contact. And I’d like to second: **Maximus** **Han Solo** **John Crichton** **Remy McSwain** **Sam Beckett** **Jareth** from Labyrinth There are plenty more, some much more obscure (and some much more embarassing, like **Tarzan** from the Disney film of the same name) that I could include . . . but this list is long enough! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/49 "2001-05-17T12:37:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Alan Rickman. Oooh, yeah, he’s a handsome man. I liked him as the Sheriff in **Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves**. There’s just something about a sarcastic, bad man. yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/50 "2001-05-17T12:57:43Z")
**Private Benjamin** in “Private Benjamin.” Goldie Hawn always looks great, and I’ve got a thing for uniforms . . . ---
**Author:** ![Daniel\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Daniel\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/51 "2001-05-17T13:35:30Z")
Not your typical guy movie, but Mary Stuart Masterson’s character in “Fried Green Tomatoes” just pushed all my buttons. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/52 "2001-05-17T13:47:19Z")
Since some people included television characters, I’d like to add: **Constable Benton Fraser** from Due South. Number 1 with a bullet. **Daniel Jackson** or **Teal’c** from Stargate SG-1. **Duncan MacLeod** or **Methos/Adam Pierson** from The Highlander TV series. **Angel** from Angel or **Spike** from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. **Chris In The Morning** from Northern Exposure. **Fox Mulder** (mostly for nostalgia’s sake) or **Alex Krycek** (so deliciously _baaaad_) or **John Doggett** (Hooo-boy!) from The X Files. This list could go on for a looooong, looooong time, and include characters like **Ares** from Xena and Hercules, **Captain Jean-Luc Picard** from Star Trek: TNG, and **Bo Duke** from The Dukes of Hazzard (hey, I’ve been in love with him since I was 5!) but if I try to list them all . . . there won’t be any left for the other ladies (and certain men) so I’ll stop being little Miss Greedy right . . . about . . . now! Whew! If anyone actually reads this . . . they’ll know _wayyyy_ more than they wanted to about my taste in men. _lol_ ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/53 "2001-05-17T14:06:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > My god…nobody has said WOLVERINE? WOLVERINE WOLVERINE WOLVERINE… You know you just call me out of the woodwork when you do this don’t you. I have an odd bunch but I pretty much chose the first few that came to mind. There are literally many, many more. **Maxine** from Being John Malkovich **Tina** from The Mask (Cameron Diaz) Gretchen Mol’s character in 13th Floor **Emma Murdoch** from Dark City (Jennifer Connelly) The entire cast of Coyote Ugly Natalie Portman ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/54 "2001-05-17T23:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Alan Rickman. > > Oooh, yeah, he’s a handsome man. I liked him as the Sheriff in **Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves**. There’s just something about a sarcastic, bad man. yummy. \*\* He even made RASPUTIN look somewhat sexy! ---
**Author:** ![Winkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/41988e/32.png) [@Winkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winkie)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/55 "2001-05-18T00:51:53Z")
**Slider** from Top Gun. Say all you want about Tom and Val, but he _STOLE_ that volleyball scene. **Wolverine** – Looks like he could get a little rough … yum! **Maximus** – beautiful man in very few clothes, kickin’ some ass! **Jake Briggance** in A Time To Kill. Those eyes, that drawl … **Han Solo / Indiana Jones** – I don’t think any explanation is required. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/56 "2001-05-18T05:24:11Z")
Ethan Hawke’s character in Gattaca. I don’t care if he is an InValid. He’s gorgeous, so earnest and tragic, and he can speak Esperanto. Rupert Everett as Oberon in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Oooh. The main character in Edge of Seventeen. So cute! So fey! Linus Roache playing the priest in Priest. I wasn’t aware someone that gorgeous was allowed to take vows of celibacy. Thank gods he breaks them 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/57 "2001-05-18T07:04:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > **Has anyone considered how unbelievably hard it would be to boink someone in a heartbeat??** Psst… **Monster104** , here’s quick word: As long as you get off, who cares? 😛 [sub]No wonder I don’t have an SO[/sub] I agree with Sarah Michelle Gellar. And a good many others. **Katisha** , I like your taste: “Marry, if you would put me to verses or to dance for your sake, Kate, why you undid me: for the one, I have neither words nor measure, and for the other, I have no strength in measure, yet a reasonable measure in strength. If I could win a lady at leap-frog, or by vaulting into my saddle with my armour on my back, under the correction of bragging be it spoken. I should quickly leap into a wife. Or if I might buffet for my love, or bound my horse for her favours, I could lay on like a butcher and sit like a jack-an-apes, never off. But, before God, Kate, I cannot look greenly nor gasp out my eloquence, nor I have no cunning in protestation; only downright oaths, which I never use till urged, nor never break for urging. If thou canst love a fellow of this temper, Kate, whose face is not worth sun-burning, that never looks in his glass for love of any thing he sees there, let thine eye be thy cook. I speak to thee plain soldier: If thou canst love me for this, take me: if not, to say to thee that I shall die, is true; but for thy love, by the Lord, no; yet I love thee too. And while thou livest, dear Kate, take a fellow of plain and uncoined constancy; for he perforce must do thee right, because he hath not the gift to woo in other places: for these fellows of infinite tongue, that can rhyme themselves into ladies’ favours, they do always reason themselves out again. What! a speaker is but a prater; a rhyme is but a ballad. A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a black beard will turn white; a curled pate will grow bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax hollow: but a good heart, Kate, is the sun and the moon; or, rather, the sun, and not the moon; for it shines bright and never changes, but keeps his course truly. If thou would have such a one, take me; and take me, take a soldier; take a soldier, take a king. And what sayest thou then to my love? speak, my fair, and fairly, I pray thee.” “Now, fie upon my false French! By mine honour, in true English, I love thee, Kate: by which honour I dare not swear thou lovest me; yet my blood begins to flatter me that thou dost, notwithstanding the poor and untempering effect of my visage. Now, beshrew my father’s ambition! he was thinking of civil wars when he got me: therefore was I created with a stubborn outside, with an aspect of iron, that, when I come to woo ladies, I fright them. But, in faith, Kate, the elder I wax, the better I shall appear: my comfort is, that old age, that ill layer up of beauty, can do no more, spoil upon my face: thou hast me, if thou hast me, at the worst; and thou shalt wear me, if thou wear me, better and better: and therefore tell me, most fair Katharine, will you have me? Put off your maiden blushes; avouch the thoughts of your heart with the looks of an empress; take me by the hand, and say ‘Harry of England I am thine:’ which word thou shalt no sooner bless mine ear withal, but I will tell thee aloud ‘England is thine, Ireland is thine, France is thine, and Harry Plantagenet is thine;’ who though I speak it before his face, if he be not fellow with the best king, thou shalt find the best king of good fellows. Come, your answer in broken music; for thy voice is music and thy English broken; therefore, queen of all, Katharine, break thy mind to me in broken English; wilt thou have me?” –Henry V, Act 5, Scene ii [sub]Unfortunately, I look nothing like Branaugh[/sub] ☹ ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/58 "2001-05-18T14:24:27Z")
Ellen Barkin’s character from _The Big Easy_. Something about her hesitancy makes me shiver. Brings out the dominant in me. Luvy Liu’s character from _Charlie’s Angels_. Kung Fu chicks rock!!! And her freckles!! Wooooo! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/59 "2001-05-18T14:29:30Z")
Well, since we’re on a Shakespeare kick, I saw Ralph Fiennes play Hamlet on Broadway. It was everything my husband could do to keep me from charging the stage and nailing him to the floor. wowza. Ralph Fiennes…why did he ever make Strange Days??? jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/60 "2001-05-18T23:03:45Z")
Oh come on guys, speak up! In no particular order: **Valerie** (Geena Davis), in _Earth Girls are Easy_ **The Space Girl** (Mathilda May), in _Lifeforce_ **Lynn Bracken** (Kim Basinger), in _LA Confidential_ **Rachael** (Sean Young), in _Blade Runner_ **Sissy Hankshaw** (Uma Thurman), in _Even Cowgirls Get the Blues_ **Elena** (Catherine Zeta-Jones), in _The Mask of Zorro_ Hmm… it appears I am revealing my tendency to prefer brunettes. I could go on, and on, and on… but I’ll wrap up with my first movie fantasy babe ever: **Pearl Chavez** (Jennifer Jones), in _Duel in the Sun_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405.md?page=4)