# Characters in movies that you'd boink in a heartbeat **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405 "2001-05-14T11:16:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/61 "2001-05-19T03:02:41Z")
Corporal Vasquez, from **Aliens**. ooooo! ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/62 "2001-06-08T17:03:03Z")
Petra the Maid (Harriet Andersson) in \* Smiles of a Summer Night\* Lulu (Louise Brooks) in _Pandora’s Box_ Ninotchka (Cyd Charisse) in \* Silk Stockings\* Feathers (Angie Dickinson) in \* Rio Bravo\* Sylvia (Anita Ekberg) in \*La Dolce Vita \* Veronika (Irene Jacob) in \*The Double Life of Veronique \* Ruby Lee Gissing (Ashley Judd) in _Ruby in Paradise \* Countess Valentine (Myrna Loy) in \* Love Me Tonight_ Eloise d’Artagnan (Sophie Marceau) in \*La Fille de d’Artagnan \* Constance de Bonancieux (Raquel Welch) in \*The Three Musketeers \* All three of _The Heroic Trio_ (Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh) And because she wouldn’t be old enough (yet), I’d take Emmy Kockenlocker (Diana Lynn) from \*The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek \*to the malt shop and then the swing on the front porch. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/63 "2001-06-08T17:24:32Z")
ooooh, lets see… for a bit of fun… The Kurgan - Clancey Brown - Highlander I like a bit of rough, and that voice… (stear clear of him in any other film though!) Wolverine - Hugh Jackman(?) - X-Men Erm, same reason… (Remenber that scene where Mistique kicks him in the balls and they “Klang”, well… if they are hard…) Maximum - Russel Crowe - Gladiator Again, Same Reason (I’ll polish his Gladius any day!) and for a more “meaningful relationship” Sherlock Holmes - Jeremy Brett Inteligence and manners can be SOOOO sexy!! (and he can probe into my mysteries any day!) ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/64 "2001-06-08T17:37:25Z")
## quote: ## Originally posted by Monster104 Has anyone considered how unbelievably hard it would be to boink someone in a heartbeat?? How unbelievably hard it would be? or How unbelievably hard it would be? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/65 "2001-06-08T18:13:58Z")
> [@](#): > > My god…nobody has said WOLVERINE? WOLVERINE WOLVERINE WOLVERINE… _jarbabyj_ He’s the first guy to slip into my mind when I saw the title \*drools \* I also agree with \* Han Solo, Maximus, Tarzan\* (Disney version), \* Constable Benton Fraser, Angel, Spike, Fox Mulder\* I can’t believe no one has mention Wesley from Princess Bride! \*sighs \* Oh what I wouldn’t give to have a night with him. And _Benedict_ (Kenneth Branagh), Much Ado About Nothing _Bowen_ (Dennis Quaid), Dragonheart _Hannibal Lector_ Don’t ask why… I just think he would be a wonderful partner… if he doesn’t kill you. Also… why has no one said _Neo_ (Keanu Reeves) from The Matrix? What about \*Madmartigan? \* (Val Kilmer) from Willow. He looked so good there! Especially disguised as a woman! ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/66 "2001-06-08T18:22:32Z")
The Bond girls. All of them. All at once, one at a time, however they wanted it. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/67 "2001-06-08T18:28:28Z")
[Ted Pikul](http://movieweb.com/movie/existenz/co4.jpg) (Jude Law) in eXistenZ. My _god_ he’s hot. [Jareth the Goblin King](http://movieforum.com/movies/titles/labyrinth/jareth.shtml) (David Bowie) in Labyrinth. My first ubersexual crush, at a tender 13 years of age. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/68 "2001-06-08T18:34:13Z")
Sorry, this one got deleted in my last post. Don’t know why. [Ted Pikul](http://movieweb.com/movie/existenz/co4.jpg) (Jude Law) in eXistenZ. My _god_ he’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/69 "2001-06-08T18:36:49Z")
Hmmm… **Jill** (Amanda Peet), The Hygenist from ‘The Whole Nine Yards’. **Cynthia** (Natasha Henstridge), Jimmy’s wife, also from ‘The Whole Nine Yards’. **Ophelia** (Helena Bonham-Carter), ‘Hamlet’ with Mel Gibson. Something about a troubled, shy woman (girl?)… **Chrissy** (Susan Backlinie), the first victim in JAWS. She’d never get eaten… By the shark, at least! 😃 She’d never even make it to the water… Susan, BTW, has the distinction of also being the first victim in ‘Grizzly’. **Sloane** (Mia Sara), from 'Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Natalie Wood from ‘Cat On A Hot Tin Roof’, Rebecca De Mornay from ‘Risky Business’ and last, but certainly not least, anyone played by Molly Ringwald. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/70 "2001-06-08T18:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Hannibal Lector Don’t ask why… I just think he would be a wonderful partner… if he doesn’t kill > you. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. **Christian** (Ewan McGregor) from Moulin Rouge. He’s so _sincere_ and sweet and cute and sexy and yum. ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/71 "2001-06-08T19:39:59Z")
**Kate Mosley** from _The Cutting Edge_ ( **Moira Kelly** ) - “Toe pick!” **Natalie Hurley** from _“Sports Night”_ ( **Sabrina Lloyd** ) - “Sometimes I do a little dance.” **Rebecca Wells** from _“Sports Night”_ ( **Teri Polo** ) - Maybe this is why I like the show so much. **Young Lorraine Baines** from _Back to the Future_ ( **Lea Thompson** ) **Clarissa Darling** from _“Clarissa Explains It All”_ ( **Melissa Joan Hart** ) ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/72 "2001-06-08T21:03:03Z")
The Emperor played by Jocquim Phoenix in Gladiator. Talk to me about sick twisted gorgeous men! JOSEPH Fiennes, in Shakespeare in Love. I was weak for weeks after viewing this movie. Boink me bard!! ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/73 "2001-06-08T23:23:34Z")
Joey Lauren Adams as Alyssa in “Chasing Amy”. Ziyi Zhang as Jen in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” Michelle Yeoh, too, in pretty much everything she’s been in. Kung fu chicks do kick butt. Salma Hayek, Carolina in “Desperado”, and in theory Serendipity in “Dogma”–but there’s that unfortunate thing about angels not having genitals. Still… Sigourney Weaver as Ripley, “Aliens”. First R rated film I saw in a theater, aged 12-13. I was in love. Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor, “Terminator 2”, but not the first. Carrie Ann Moss as Trinity in “The Matrix”, or rather my interior alternate-world version of it, where she would have been the One, and Keanu “Whoa” Reeves would have had at best a minor supporting role. Essentially, attractive, intelligent, and strong female characters get me going. There need to be more of them. The weak “save me!” types outweigh any physical attraction. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/74 "2001-06-09T00:49:16Z")
**Wolverine!** Even back when he was just a 2D comic book character. But put Hugh Jackman behind those claws? Hot daymn. Reese from Terminator I The desert guy from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Christian from Moulin Rouge Joe from Joe’s Apartment Just about any Brendan Frazer character, from Link to Rick O’Connell Ted from There’s Something About Mary Oh, and sooooooo many more. I’ll think about them later. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Frink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Mr.Frink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Frink)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/75 "2001-06-09T01:23:38Z")
Frankie Polente (sp?)\* **LOLA** \* in the German film **RUN LOLA RUN**. Right after she’s done with her sprinting all over town…when she’s still all breathless, and _sweaty_!!! ---
**Author:** ![PerfectDark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@PerfectDark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PerfectDark)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/76 "2001-06-09T01:24:54Z")
Padme (Episode 1) ObiWan (Episode 1) Jonathon Taylor Thomas The Queen (DnD) Rogue (X-Men the Movie) Wesley Crusher (STNG) – (Not as good as previous ones but he’s alright) Hmm… I’ll get back to you when I remember more. PerfectDark ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/77 "2001-06-09T06:18:51Z")
Oh, and: Kaworu in _End of Evangelion_ Kamui, Subaru, or Aoki from _X: 1999._ ---
**Author:** ![exchicagoan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/0ea827/32.png) [@exchicagoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/exchicagoan)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/78 "2001-06-10T04:53:07Z")
I’m amazed that the thread got this far without BRAD PITT’S character in THELMA AND LOUISE. F—!! CLAUDE JARMAN JR. in THE YEARLING. Hey–I was nine years old! BRANDO in THE WILD ONE. TONY CURTIS in CITY ACROSS THE RIVER. ANY character that SCOTT GLENN, STEVE MCQUEEN, MICHAEL BEIN or JAMES WOODS play. Even as THEMSELVES! ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/79 "2001-06-10T05:20:38Z")
The Debra Winger character in “An Officer and a Gentleman”. The Debra Winger character in “Cannery Row”. The Debra Winger character in “Urban Cowboy”. Debra Winger has “It” ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405/80 "2001-06-10T05:43:46Z")
I note that others have taken it upon themselves to expand the topic of this thread to tv shows, so: Daisy Duke, from “The Dukes of Hazzard”. Many, many other worthy ones, of course, but puberty just wouldn’t have been the same without her 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-in-movies-that-youd-boink-in-a-heartbeat/65405.md?page=5)