# Characters that you would smother with a pillow for the good of humanity **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783 "2016-09-12T20:16:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/21 "2016-09-13T03:18:48Z")
Ariadne Oliver from the Poirot series. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/22 "2016-09-13T07:25:34Z")
Fabienne with her own blueberry pancakes. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/23 "2016-09-13T09:40:19Z")
Ignatius J. Reilly, because fuck _A Confederacy of Dunces_. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/24 "2016-09-13T11:33:27Z")
Can’t argue with that. What a dick. The fact that ACoD is taught and held in high esteem is one of the things that convinces me we should return to apprenticeships instead of higher ed. ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/25 "2016-09-13T13:32:05Z")
Dean Venture The Monarch ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/26 "2016-09-13T13:51:59Z")
Eli James Rany Meeks Jamie Williams Bob Sugar Max Payne Paulie Billie Lee Chuck Gleg Bailey Salinger Capt. Gillespie Dr. Jeffrey Dante Bo McLaren Leah Jones Julie James Amanda Beckett Riley Reed Alison Marks and Droopy McSaggs (Soccer Mom #3) ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/27 "2016-09-13T14:20:12Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Can’t argue with that. What a dick. > > The fact that ACoD is taught and held in high esteem is one of the things that convinces me we should return to apprenticeships instead of higher ed. > [@Penfeather](#): > > Ignatius J. Reilly, because fuck _A Confederacy of Dunces_. Yes! THANK YOU!!! I don’t get peoples’ love of this book. Oh, and I also nominate that selfish self centered asshole, Sheldon Cooper. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/28 "2016-09-13T14:41:41Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > Dean Venture > The Monarch No no no. The Monarch has yet to learn the fate of his own parents (that his father was turned into Vendata by Jonas Venture, or that Jonas may actually be his father, making him Rusty’s brother.) And Dean is the best hope of the bunch. I think he’ll turn out fine after his father’s violent passing. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/29 "2016-09-13T15:35:32Z")
Fran Fine (The Nanny) - Fran Drescher is quite lovely in person but that character . . .yeesh Denise Huxtable (The Cosby Show)- Used to love the show and her character in particular. Now they both grate on my nerves. Oddly, I’m still amused by Cosby as Dr. Huxtable Carla Tortelli (Cheers) - Not funny, just mean and abusive Lily Tucker- Pritchet(Modern Family) - What an unpleasant creature. I found her character amusing for a minute but the one note, sarcastic brat routing has gotten old Lily Aldrin (How I Met Your Mother) - Go blow your nose already ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/30 "2016-09-13T16:07:16Z")
Every member of the Always Sunny gang except Charlie. If I can only smother one, then Dennis. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/31 "2016-09-13T17:11:41Z")
Are Kardashians real or not because I’d nominate their public personas in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/32 "2016-09-13T17:21:24Z")
Jeremy Jamm. Jean-Ralphio Saperstein. Mona Lisa Saperstein. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/33 "2016-09-13T18:10:09Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Melanie Wilkes Aw, why her? Most of the other characters cited in this thread are selfish, irresponsible, arrogant, or what have you. Melanie’s genuinely good–truly desiring to see others happy and willing to embrace people her society writes off because she sees good in them. (Witness her treatment of Belle Watling–or Rhett, for that matter.) She sees beyond Southern society’s (often superficial and judgmental) values to understand people’s true value–you could make a case that she even does this for Scarlett, recognizing what WAS good in her even if Scarlett’s PTSD twisted those qualities. She’s also strong in a different way from Scarlett–she’s coolheaded in a crisis (check out how she handles the men’s return from the Shantytown raid! And how she grabbed the sword and ran out to face the Yankee intruder when she was practically an invalid!) and, again, willing to stand up to everyone in her world in favor of what she believes to be right. And if you ask me, she’s a lot savvier than she lets on. Some say she was stupid for not realizing Scarlett’s feelings for Ashley. I think she might well have sensed them on some level but felt that Scarlett wasn’t really a threat–that whatever feelings Ashley had for Scarlett were only superficial. Finally, what I find most admirable about her is the fact that she suffers the same losses, deprivations, and trauma that Scarlett does–but she doesn’t allow them to harden or embitter her. You ask me, humanity could USE more people like her. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/34 "2016-09-13T18:28:14Z")
Can I nominate EVERY TV sitcom kid under 15 or so? Just on general principle. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/35 "2016-09-13T18:29:16Z")
Raymond, and everyone who loves him. ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/36 "2016-09-13T18:39:55Z")
I came in here to say Sheldon Cooper. But, since he’s already been covered, Meredith Grey. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/37 "2016-09-13T18:58:10Z")
> [@Hermione](#): > > Aw, why her? Because she’s annoying, and also dead weight. Her simpering Goody Twoshoes thing drives me nuts, but so does her taking the credit for other people’s work. Remember when Scarlett is in the kitchen trying to cook enough food for the family and the people in her household, for whom she feels responsible, and whom she knows she needs to feed for her own survival, meanwhile Melanie is giving away the food to soldiers coming home along the road-- AND TAKING ALL THE CREDIT? Everyone is thanking her for her-- that is, MELANIE’S generosity, when she hasn’t been doing one thing in the kitchen. She never, once, says “Don’t thank me, thank Scarlett: she did all the work.” Scarlett should have shot Melanie when she had the chance. FWIW, Melanie survives only because Scarlett loves Ashley so much that she honors her promise to take care of Melanie. Then Melanie goes and squanders it all by trying to have another baby. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/38 "2016-09-13T19:02:57Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Olivia Benson Yes! Then I’d revive her and smother her again!! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/39 "2016-09-13T19:34:59Z")
I don’t recall the character’s name, but she was a character from _Maximum Overdrive_, a real suck fest of a movie Stephen King both wrote and directed. It was about big rig trucks coming to life and killing people. She had this really fake southern accent, a loud annoying whiny voice, and overly histrionic constant crying. Every time somebody discovered a truck-squashed victim, she’d be right there squawling “IS HE DEYUDD? OOOWAH OOOOYYYYEEEEWWWW!!” She deserved a concrete pillow and 10-12 more attempts on her life just to make sure. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783/40 "2016-09-13T21:26:41Z")
How could I forget Jason Todd Humanity as a whole voted him dead, then the stupidest plot device since ever resurrects him, and he’s an even bigger tool than before he died. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-that-you-would-smother-with-a-pillow-for-the-good-of-humanity/765783.md?page=3)