# Characters who'll always — or never — get into a fight when they meet **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 2, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532 "2009-01-02T00:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/1 "2009-01-02T00:31:22Z")
The recent hoo’d-win threads make inspired this thread. In the Doc Savage versus Remo Williams case, it’s not hard to forecast the winner of such a fight (Savage if there’s prep time, Remo if not), but it requires plot contortions for them to fight in the first place; they’d have to be manipulated into it or mind-controlled. Contrariwise, it’s less certain who’d win the super-spy bout but easy to imagine them being at cross-purposes and one deciding the other has to be eliminated. Which brings me to the thread question: what fictional heroic characters (from different universes, natch) are guaranteed to get into a death-duel within seconds of meeting? Contrariwise, which characters are likely to hit it off immediately and will never get into a fight without improbably plot contortions or mind control? For automatic throw-downs, I’ll name the post-Crisis **Wonder Woman** and any version of [bHercules\*\* — but particularly the Marvel Comics version. He’ll meet her, ogle her boobs, and try to get her into the sack; the second she hears his name, she’ll decide to relieve him of the burden of his testicles. She’d be likely to do that with \*any[i/] Herc, actually, except maybe the Kevin Sorbo iteration. For automatic best buddies, I’ll nominate **Lazarus Long** and **Garak** from Deep Space 9. Neither is especially hot-headed, and it wouldn’t take long for them to start competing to see who can weave the bigger web of lies. Anybody else? ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/2 "2009-01-02T00:42:07Z")
Best buddies: **Sherlock Holmes** and **Thomas Carnacki**. I think they’d happily consult with one another. And another Hodgson character: **Captain Gault** would either be buddies or friendly rivals with **Captain Malcolm Reynolds**. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/3 "2009-01-02T01:02:28Z")
Non fighters - Sylvester the Cat and Snagglepuss would not fight Always fighters - Any superhero from the Wildcats/Authority universe and … well anyone else in existence ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/4 "2009-01-02T02:03:35Z")
Races that claim to be the Supreme Life Form or Master Race have an especially bitter hate for all those OTHER pretenders. So for example the Draka and the Nietzscheans, or the Daleks and the Borg, would make a highly entertaining fight for anyone safely on the sidelines. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/5 "2009-01-02T02:10:29Z")
Han Solo and Indiana Jones would hit it off pretty well. They even look alike! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/6 "2009-01-02T02:53:36Z")
Trying to reach here: Hannibal Lecter and Daniel Plainview as best buddies. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/7 "2009-01-02T03:00:53Z")
Ingold Inglorion of Barbara Hambly’s Darwath series and Obi Wan Kenobi as instant friends. Both of them Zen survivors, both of them tough as old boots. I think Marvel had this problem a lot with it’s Marvel Team-Up series, which was usually Spider-Man plus some other superhero. There were a _lot_ of plot contrivances for a universe where you could get a super power by being scalded with coffee. Too many times, Spidey ended up fighting someone for little reason other than the editor thought it would make for cool splash panels. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/8 "2009-01-02T04:30:17Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > ..the Daleks and the Borg, would make a highly entertaining fight for anyone safely on the sidelines. The Borg would \*totally \*own the Daleks. … but what if… they hybridized? :eek: \ **Assimilate! Assimilate! We-are-the-superior-beings!** \ ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/9 "2009-01-02T13:02:47Z")
> [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > The Borg would \*totally \*own the Daleks. > … but what if… they hybridized? :eek: > > \ **Assimilate! Assimilate! We-are-the-superior-beings!** \ I’m not so sure of that. The Borg occasionally spend too much time in the explorations phase of assimilation. Daleks tend to go for the kill almost immediately, and seem to be fairly immune to most technology when prepared. I hope the Borg have some serious field containment devices ready. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/10 "2009-01-02T13:17:32Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Han Solo and Indiana Jones would hit it off pretty well. They even look alike! I don’t think they would. It would rather be a matter of two Alphas, shooting snide remarks at each other and constantly trying to get one up on the other one. There’s only room for one charming rogue in every group. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/11 "2009-01-02T19:48:33Z")
> [@Acid Lamp](#): > > Daleks tend to go for the kill almost immediately, and seem to be fairly immune to most technology when prepared. For a species whose tag line is exterminate, they sure take their bloody time. [Link to youtube.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBSOhODoch0) I like the scene in Empire strikes back when, on Bespin, Han Solo doesn’t hesitate even for a second before pulling out his blaster and shooting at Darth Vader. ---
**Author:** ![Nom\_de\_Plume](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/85f322/32.png) [@Nom\_de\_Plume](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nom_de_Plume)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/12 "2009-01-02T20:38:05Z")
I’m pretty sure that Peter Griffin will ALWAYS have an extended knock-down dragout with the giant chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/13 "2009-01-02T20:55:39Z")
Not to promote other websites but there is a great website for comic book fights with rules and what not. It’s a little snarky at times but very newbie welcoming. [http://forums.comicbookresources.com/forumdisplay.php?f=25](http://forums.comicbookresources.com/forumdisplay.php?f=25) I always wanted Sherlock Holmes and Batman to compete in solving a mystery. Not really a knock-down fight but I thought it’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/14 "2009-01-03T14:05:29Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > I always wanted Sherlock Holmes and Batman to compete in solving a mystery. Not really a knock-down fight but I thought it’d be cool. Sort-of happened, in the 90s. Brave & Bold Annual. Co-stared Ralph Dibny & a Sam Spade-type detective. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/15 "2009-01-03T14:41:58Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Trying to reach here: Hannibal Lecter and Daniel Plainview as best buddies. Appreciate the literary reach here, but this is just… wrong. The two would despise each other! Superparanoid Daniel would see Hannibal as a snotty intellectual looking down on him. Lector would find Plainview’s treatment of, well, _everyone_ as unforgivably rude. Plainview. It’s what’s for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/16 "2009-01-03T19:41:47Z")
**Lazarus Long** and \*\*Milo Morai \*\*is a buddy movie waiting to happen. **Elminster** and \*\*Sauron \*\*meet, and it’s go time, Archmage style. **Captain Kirk** vs **Londo Molari** is another inevitable fight. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/17 "2009-01-03T20:16:25Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > I’m not so sure of that. The Borg occasionally spend too much time in the explorations phase of assimilation. Daleks tend to go for the kill almost immediately, and seem to be fairly immune to most technology when prepared. I hope the Borg have some serious field containment devices ready. It would be like the Spanish fighting the Aztecs. The Aztecs fought to capture sacrificial victims, all their field tactics were designed to that end. The Spanish, like most nations, fought to kill. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/18 "2009-01-03T20:19:30Z")
There have been Gandalf v. Dumbledore threads in CS; the consensus is that Gandalf would clean Dumbledore’s clock. But if they met, they would probably hit it off – two Good Wizards fighting the good fight against Dark Lords and mentoring brave young achievers. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/19 "2009-01-03T20:19:46Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > **Elminster** and \*\*Sauron \*\*meet, and it’s go time, Archmage style. Did you mean Sauron, or Saruman? Saruman seems a better rival for Elminster. For Sauron, I think you’d have to kick it up a notch to Fizban. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532/20 "2009-01-03T20:21:03Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > **Captain Kirk** vs **Londo Molari** is another inevitable fight. But Kirk and Sheridan would be instyfriends! (Especially as Sheridan is a one-female-humanoid man and not the kind to compete with Kirk for the xenopussy.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/characters-wholl-always-or-never-get-into-a-fight-when-they-meet/479532.md?page=2)