# Charity donation as a Christmas gift- y/n? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608 "2009-12-09T18:16:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/61 "2009-12-11T19:25:02Z")
> [@Lunar\_Saltlick](#): > > I still probably wouldn’t donate, but I wouldn’t necessarily “buy them something.” I might, for example, do a little research, and see whether someone important was coming to town to give a talk related to animal rights/cruelty prevention\*, world hunger, sustainability or microfinancing. Just for the record, charitable giving is the best gift someone can give me. That doesn’t mean I hang out and talk about charities for fun except in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/62 "2009-12-11T20:23:49Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > But then you are expressly spending time, effort and maybe even money to find a way to **not give them what they asked for**. That doesn’t strike you as a little off? Whatever you do is supposed to **make them happy** , and clearly a donation would do that. Not exactly. I’m hitting solidly in their zone – I’m just refusing to do it the easy way, by hauling out the plastic and sending a cold chunk of cash. What I’m doing will definitely make them happy. And maybe their SO, too, or a friend, if I get them a pair of tickets. Of course, as I indicated, if they’re very, very adamant about it, I’m not going to get into a lather over the subject. I think I’ve stated a few times now that despite the lively jousting here, I’m not about to go to the mattresses or the barricades over this. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/63 "2009-12-11T20:29:32Z")
> [@Lunar\_Saltlick](#): > > Not exactly. I’m hitting solidly in their zone – I’m just refusing to do it the easy way, by hauling out the plastic and sending a cold chunk of cash. What I’m doing will definitely make them happy. And maybe their SO, too, or a friend, if I get them a pair of tickets. You seriously think that if I want money to go to charity that means I want to go to something like a talk or a seminar on the subject of the charity? _I don’t want to hear people talk about hunger. I want money to go to combat it._ ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/64 "2009-12-11T20:32:22Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Let’s use a less extreme example. Let’s say someone, oh, I dunno, me said, “I don’t want anything. I would strongly prefer that you not buy me a gift. If you want to warm my cockles, help some sick kid or donate blood or give to Doctors Without Borders or something,” would you still try your best to come up with some creative trinket for me, or would you just give me what I want, which is a charitable contribution? Well, MSF is near and dear to my heart. Of all the charities I’m involved with, they’re my favorite. So, as I’ve indicated elsewhere, I’m a practical chap, and you’d be leaving me with little choice. Asking me to give blood in your name? Crikey – I didn’t see that one coming! “…try your best to come up with some creative trinket…”. I think that this is unfair. I don’t think I’ve ever given anyone a creative trinket. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/65 "2009-12-11T20:34:45Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You seriously think that if I want money to go to charity that means I want to go to something like a talk or a seminar on the subject of the charity? > > _I don’t want to hear people talk about hunger. I want money to go to combat it._ Yeah, the only way that would OK is if it was a fund-raising event and most of the admission price was a donation. ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/66 "2009-12-11T20:39:04Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You seriously think that if I want money to go to charity that means I want to go to something like a talk or a seminar on the subject of the charity? > > _I don’t want to hear people talk about hunger. I want money to go to combat it._ Quite clear now. Thanks. I sincerely had no intention of being this offensive. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/67 "2009-12-11T20:42:36Z")
> [@Lunar\_Saltlick](#): > > Quite clear now. Thanks. I sincerely had no intention of being this offensive. You’re not being offensive in the slightest. We’re just coming at this from two very different places. Sometimes, the easy thing and the right thing are the same thing when it comes to gift-giving. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/68 "2009-12-11T20:47:02Z")
> [@Gesturing\_Mildly](#): > > For what it’s worth, I did this last year, and was REALLY unsure about how it would go over. People loved it. > > I think it depends on the recipient. In my case, it was all for people who I didn’t know well enough to get them an inexpensive but meaningful small gift, but who have WAY more money than I do, so it’s not like I could get them something really impressive either. I’m kind of just playing devil’s advocate here, but isn’t it possible they actually _didn’t_ love it but didn’t feel comfortable admitting that to you? Especially since you say you didn’t know them very well. ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/69 "2009-12-11T20:57:46Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Yeah, the only way that would OK is if it was a fund-raising event and most of the admission price was a donation. The _only_ way it would be OK? Not sure about that, but possibly it depends on the person. In any case, as I have said, if you were very adamant, I would respect your wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/70 "2009-12-11T21:43:41Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You’re not being offensive in the slightest. We’re just coming at this from two very different places. > > Sometimes, the easy thing and the right thing are the same thing when it comes to gift-giving. Trite and clichéd as it is, I’m going to have to fall back on agreeing to disagree. We have different views on this subject. Nonetheless, while it rubs me the wrong way to donate money as a gift to someone, I would ultimately respect their sincere wish in this regard. In terms of being offensive, I certainly was. In earlier posts, I suggested that donations as a gift were lazy, unimaginative, an easy out and the new gift certificate. That’s very offensive, and I regret arguing in that manner. Hardly in the Christmas spirit, but an easy habit to get into at the Dope. My apologies to all. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/71 "2009-12-11T23:51:06Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > I’m kind of just playing devil’s advocate here, but isn’t it possible they actually _didn’t_ love it but didn’t feel comfortable admitting that to you? Especially since you say you didn’t know them very well. That’s probably true. ETA: I meant that it’s probably true that if they were less than thrilled they would have been too polite to let on, not that it’s probably true that they were less than thrilled. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/72 "2009-12-12T00:04:23Z")
My gift giving philosophy is that I generally don’t. Not a huge gift giver. So when I give to a charity in honor of someone, its isn’t like they are “getting” that donation in place of something else - they wouldn’t have gotten anything to start with. I buy for my husband, my kids, and my nephews. I don’t buy for friends or other family. So when someone gets a goat from Heiffer, it isn’t like they would have gotten a sweater or a cat holding a fishbowl instead. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/73 "2009-12-12T00:39:06Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > However, donating in someone else’s name because YOU want them to be interested in a cause does strike me as being tacky. To bring up the Simpsons example, it’s like giving someone a bowling ball because you like bowling, even though it has no meaning for them. It’s worse, because at least in the end, I’ve got a bowling ball. I hate it. Giving to charity is great. I highly support giving to charity. I even support someone forgoing giving me a gift and using the money that they would have spent on my gift for charity and saying nothing about it at all. But it rubs me completely the wrong way for someone to give to charity in my name and pretend it was a gift for me. Because, it’s not. It’s nothing to do with me. It’s all about them. I don’t need or care to know what they gave (that’s their business). It isn’t thinking about me - it’s thinking about themselves/their charity. Send a “thinking of you” card to your friends & give to charity; don’t conflate the two. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/74 "2009-12-12T01:30:43Z")
There are occasions other than Christmas when you can donate in someone else’s name – memorials/funerals, for example, when donations are requested in lieu of flowers, or when a gift isn’t allowed. The justice of the peace who married us couldn’t take money, so we made a donation to a community organization that she suggested. But not for Christmas or other gift-giving occasions. It’s like proselytizing. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/75 "2009-12-16T04:36:02Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > There are occasions other than Christmas when you can donate in someone else’s name – memorials/funerals, for example, when donations are requested in lieu of flowers, or when a gift isn’t allowed. The justice of the peace who married us couldn’t take money, so we made a donation to a community organization that she suggested. > > But not for Christmas or other gift-giving occasions. It’s like proselytizing. Thank you. In fact, I think it’s incredibly preachy and self-righteous. A present is supposed to be about someone else – not about yourself. (Besides, if you do it to YOUR charity of choice, what if it’s one said person does not support?) Of course, if that’s what someone wants, by all means, do it. But don’t say, “well, they have a lot of money, and I don’t know what to get them, blah blah blah…” To me, that’s just an excuse. So like I said, UNLESS it is what they truly want, I vote no. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/76 "2009-12-22T16:29:20Z")
I assume everyone saw the gift that Google made on everyone’s behalf? [http://www.google.com/advertising/holiday2009/](http://www.google.com/advertising/holiday2009/) ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/77 "2009-12-22T21:19:43Z")
Count me in in the “no” camp. Particularly when the donation was not requested by the giftee. Even when the giftee does request it, I find it really difficult. I have one such friend. She’s such a brilliant person that even at Christmas time she puts others first. But I want to give a gift to HER, some little luxury, because she is my friend and she deserves it. Like LunarSaltlick it would probably take vehement insisting to make me budge and even then it would be donation AND little present. I also think that, although disagreeing is fine, it seems that some people think Lunar’s actions are selfish and that seems really unfair as it seems to me that he or she just wants to be a really good friend. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608/78 "2009-12-23T00:18:51Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > I assume everyone saw the gift that Google made on everyone’s behalf? > > [http://www.google.com/advertising/holiday2009/](http://www.google.com/advertising/holiday2009/) Nice. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-christmas-gift-y-n/520608.md?page=3)