# Charity donation as a shared gift? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444 "2008-11-06T13:56:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/1 "2008-11-06T13:56:34Z")
I’m a secretary at a university. In the past, it has been tradition that the secretaries give their bosses small Christmas gifts. I’ve always given the six professors I worked for homemade candy in a nice coffee mug or pretty bowl or something. Last year, I heard things like “Thank you for the candy. I gave it to my daughter.” I know all but one of them are watching their weight. So, I think candy is out this year. I’d like to get them something they’d appreciate. Trouble is, in the last year, I’ve picked up three more professors. Even if I spend just $10 on each one, that puts me at $90, which is way over my budget. To put things in perspective, they all make about $60,000 more than I do. I know nothing I can afford to get them will be anything much. So, this year I was thinking about making a donation to a charity. They’re all very generous and into giving and such. Would it be completely tacky and cheap to donate, say $50 and give each of them a card saying “A donation was made in your name to X Charity?” Do you generally say on cards like that how much the donation was? Also, when a donation is made in someone else’s name, do they get to write it off on their taxes? I just don’t want to publicize to each of them that their original donation was only about $5.50. Any other ideas of something cheap and thoughtful? ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/2 "2008-11-06T14:32:20Z")
My family are getting “We have donated money to charity in lieu of a gift” cards this year. We have also given Goats and Cows and Trees in past years. So I don’t see it as a problem. Si ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/3 "2008-11-06T15:28:09Z")
One year I gave one gift to Heifer (I think a milk menagerie) and sent cards to everyone – “In honor of my friends and family, and gift has been made…” No problem “sharing” the gift in my book. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/4 "2008-11-06T15:33:23Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Also, when a donation is made in someone else’s name, do they get to write it off on their taxes? I just don’t want to publicize to each of them that their original donation was only about $5.50. No, you as the donor would get the write-off on your taxes. Making them the honoree has no impact on “credit” for the donation, it’s just a nice thing the organization does to encourage giving. No, you don’t have to mention how much the gift was. “A gift was made in honor of my colleagues…” is fine. Even if you have the charity send the cards, they usually do not mention the amounts. If you do something like Heifer, and mention which animal or gift you sponsored, someone could look up the value or see it if they look for more information on Heifer, but who cares! It’s the thought and symbol of your remembering them at the holidays that matters. (And by the way, I wouldn’t mention that I gave away a gift someone gave me. That seems tacky.) ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/5 "2008-11-06T16:18:05Z")
I think it’s a lovely idea. I don’t think that employees should be expected to get their bosses holiday presents, and this is a nice way to acknowledge the holiday without shelling out on a present for an employer who probably makes significantly more than you do. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/6 "2008-11-10T18:37:25Z")
Thanks for your help. I think I’m going to go for it, with the added bonus that I won’t be in the kitchen for hours cooking up toffee. Oddly enough, Heifer is the charity I’ve been thinking about going with. I like the idea of having something tangible to which I can contribute. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/7 "2008-11-10T21:28:10Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Thanks for your help. I think I’m going to go for it, with the added bonus that I won’t be in the kitchen for hours cooking up toffee. > > Oddly enough, Heifer is the charity I’ve been thinking about going with. I like the idea of having something tangible to which I can contribute. Cool–you can print as off as many color honor cards as you need from them. I did enough to stuff in Xmas cards the time I did it. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/8 "2008-11-10T21:43:41Z")
I have a real problem with “underlings” giving their boss a gift period. Are you close friends with these people? Do you invite them over to the house for dinner or go on vacations with them? So why do you owe them a gift, be it a chartity donation or whatever. While it’s nice to give other people gifts, giving someone of authority a gift can set a bad precedent. What if one year you really can’t afford it so you stiff them? They may expect a gift and now you haven’t given them one. Now isn’t that awkward? I think Holiday cards are nice and personal and don’t cost a lot. Anything more than that sets expectations and has the real possibility of making a co-worker look bad if they don’t do the same thing. I am a boss and I really don’t expect or want any gifts from my employees, and I have never given my boss a gift. If my boss wants to give us all a gift that would be nice… but I won’t hold my breath waiting for it. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/9 "2008-11-11T14:53:41Z")
Per the OP, it’s a tradition in her office. Right or wrong, apparently everyone does it and it’s not setting up anything uncomfortable among the “underlings”. I give my boss a small gift (last year, an ornament) because she’s cool and we are friendly. I do know what you’re saying but it’s possible to appropriately give gifts to people you don’t hang out with outside of work, depending on the atmosphere and culture in the office. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/10 "2008-11-11T17:36:47Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > I have a real problem with “underlings” giving their boss a gift period. Are you close friends with these people? Do you invite them over to the house for dinner or go on vacations with them? So why do you owe them a gift, be it a chartity donation or whatever. While it’s nice to give other people gifts, giving someone of authority a gift can set a bad precedent. What if one year you really can’t afford it so you stiff them? They may expect a gift and now you haven’t given them one. Now isn’t that awkward? > > I think Holiday cards are nice and personal and don’t cost a lot. Anything more than that sets expectations and has the real possibility of making a co-worker look bad if they don’t do the same thing. I am a boss and I really don’t expect or want any gifts from my employees, and I have never given my boss a gift. If my boss wants to give us all a gift that would be nice… but I won’t hold my breath waiting for it. Yup, as **gigi** said, it’s tradition. The way it had already been for years before I got here, and the four years I’ve been here. I’m all for breaking it, but I just don’t want to be the first one. It’s guaranteed to be super-awkward this year. There have been a bunch of new hires and switch-arounds. So, not only is there the possibility that some of the newer staff associates may not realize this is what we do (maybe it’s a good time to change), there’s also the possibility that the three new professors I have don’t realize they’re supposed to get \*me \*something. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/11 "2008-11-11T18:01:47Z")
At the risk of sounding all Scrooge-y: I don’t consider a donation _by you_ to a charity of _your_ choice to be a gift to anyone but the charity. I think there are hundreds of truly admirable causes – Heifer International being an excellent one – but when a person decides to give them a donation, they don’t “honor” me by doing so, anymore than they honor me by spending their money by going to a movie or buying a Barbie for their kid. I, like **dolphinboy** , loathe the idea of support staff being expected to give gifts to people who (a) supervise them and (b) make tens of thousands of dollars more than they do. So you might be surprised to hear that I actually think the charitable donation is a good idea in this context, because the people you’re talking about are not entitled to a real gift anyway, and this way you give lip-service to a ridiculous practice while actually doing a little good in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/12 "2008-11-11T18:05:38Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > . . . when a person decides to give them a donation, they don’t “honor” me by doing so, anymore than they honor me by spending their money by going to a movie or buying a Barbie for their kid. I think you’re on to something here. Maybe I’ll just “donate” $50 to myself, and give them all cards saying I made a donation to local underpaid workers. Sort of like George Costanza’s Human Fund. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/13 "2008-11-11T18:58:12Z")
I kinda agree with Jodi, the exception would be if the charity is something that is close to the recipient’s heart, like an animal shelter for someone who adopted cats, but with a group gift to coworkers it’s hard to find something like that. I mean, I don’t want to say not to donate the Heifer, but the downside of the presenting it as a gift is that it kinda contributes to the spiral, when it sounds like there are a lot of new people and your actions will help set the tone. You can always donate privately and just tell your coworkers about Heifer as a great Christmas gift idea. Another spin on cookies – you could just make one or two batches of something simple and bring them in on a tray for service to everyone. Send an email saying you brought cookies, Happy Holidays, and feel free to take a few home to the kids. Faculty who don’t take any cookies can still enjoy your Christmas cheer. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/14 "2008-11-11T19:08:03Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > At the risk of sounding all Scrooge-y: I don’t consider a donation _by you_ to a charity of _your_ choice to be a gift to anyone but the charity. I think there are hundreds of truly admirable causes – Heifer International being an excellent one – but when a person decides to give them a donation, they don’t “honor” me by doing so, anymore than they honor me by spending their money by going to a movie or buying a Barbie for their kid. Out of curiousity, does this attitude still apply when the gift to the charity is a group gift with a dollop of public recogition? Like, when the minister of the church I’m attending at present was handed a frame with a certificate telling her that $100 had been donated to Local Habitat for Humanity in honor of her service to the congregation? And this is done in front of (if not the entire congregation) all those who bothered to show up for services on Sunday morning? Although, re-reading your post, maybe I mistook your original point . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/15 "2008-11-11T19:28:03Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > Out of curiousity, does this attitude still apply when the gift to the charity is a group gift with a dollop of public recogition? Like, when the minister of the church I’m attending at present was handed a frame with a certificate telling her that $100 had been donated to Local Habitat for Humanity in honor of her service to the congregation? And this is done in front of (if not the entire congregation) all those who bothered to show up for services on Sunday morning? In that case, I would say that the gift in the certificate and the acknowledgement but do I think the 100 bucks to H4H is a gift to him or her? No. It’s obviously a gift to H4H. For all you know the minister would have actually preferred the $100 be sent to Heifer Internation, or the Susan G. Komen Foundation, or that he received a gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse or she received a day at a spa. The problem is when a person does something _they_ want to do, for a cause _they_ believe in, and then say they are “honoring” others. I just don’t see the honor there. I definitely would feel differently if you knew that one particular charity was very close to the heart of a particular person – a donation to the Cistic Fibrosis Foundation on behalf of a person who gives them significant time and effort – but that’s not the case when you’re spending $50 to “honor” your five bosses. I’m not being critical of anyone else’s position or actions, this is just how I see it. I realize I may sound a bit ungrateful, but then again, why should I be grateful you gave some of your own money to a charity I may not care anything about? What if the charity has tenets you personally don’t believe in, like PETA, or a particular church, or the Boy Scouts, or Planned Parenthood? How do you even know the person would _want_ you to support that particular organization at all, much less be honored by it? ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/16 "2008-11-11T19:32:11Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Thanks for your help. I think I’m going to go for it, with the added bonus that I won’t be in the kitchen for hours cooking up toffee. [Steve Martin] Excuuuuuuse me[/Steve Martin] Did you forget that some of your Doper pals love toffee? ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/17 "2008-11-11T20:30:59Z")
Well, since I can’t afford to make it for you all - here’s the super-simple recipe. Spread 1 cup chopped or slivered almonds (or whatever nuts you like, really) on a foil-lined cookie sheet (you might need two). Melt: 2 cups butter 2 cups sugar in a heavy saucepan. Boil until it becomes a dark amber color. The darker it gets, the crispier and less stick-to-your-teethy it will be. Pour over almonds. Sprinkle with 2 cups of meltable chocolate. My mom uses Hershey Bars, I use semi-sweet chocolate chips. When the chocolate gets melty, spread it with a spatula. Put in the refrigerator or outside somewhere (covered, obv.) for a few hours, then break into pieces. Eat the whole tin yourself. Make another to give away. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charity-donation-as-a-shared-gift/471444/18 "2008-11-11T21:06:59Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > I’m not being critical of anyone else’s position or actions, this is just how I see it. I realize I may sound a bit ungrateful, but then again, why should I be grateful you gave some of your own money to a charity I may not care anything about? Gotcha-- I think I kinda did mis-read the intent of your original post. And _this_ minister was delighted by the Habitat donation, because it is a organization near and dear to her heart. (She did also get gift certificates to a favorite restaurant and something else I can’t remember). And there’s that balance point between “a gift should be something that the recipient appreciates” and “cash is tacky or un-fun\*” which means that sometimes people (in general) should smile in pretend gratitude while making plans to return/re-gift/bury-in-the-back-closet some more or less inappropriate gift. ETA:So a gift to a generic but unfavorite charity is an ok gift because it doesn’t require disposal. But your position that a gift to a generic charity in your “honor” is not exactly much of a gift to you is understandable. \*or too obvious in value–either small or large