# Charleston Heston is a cunt (a bit of a rant) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494 "2003-07-28T18:59:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/1 "2003-07-28T18:59:19Z")
The mindless paranoid attitude of white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban America threatens the safety of the whole world each and every day. Example - “Y2K” scared the crap out of you all and sold a whole lot of guns and generators. Nothing happened of course, except that gun and generator sales rose sharply for a while. Who precisely is it that you are constantly defending youselves against? Afraid the Red Indians may attack and take back all the land you stole? Maybe many black men with large penises will break into your homes looking for a good time? Just imagine if the rest of the world was as paranoid and trigger-happy as you - we’d all have bombed the USA long ago just to defend ourselves. Mr. Heston and the rest of the NRA (agent of the arms manufacturers, who create the fear just for profit from dumb people) all suck Rhino dicks. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/2 "2003-07-28T19:03:58Z")
I just like to shoot little bunnies. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/3 "2003-07-28T19:08:35Z")
**Bert** , what do you know about Mr. Heston besides his involvement with the NRA? And, if you would care to tell, how _old_ are you? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/4 "2003-07-28T19:11:14Z")
It’s **Charlton**. There’s no ‘S’ in there. He can be a bit of a wanker, but I hardly think he’s responsible for Y2K hysteria or stealing the Indians’ land. And there are plenty of gun owners who aren’t particularly fond of the NRA. I’m one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/5 "2003-07-28T19:13:34Z")
Or what country. Why do you care so much about Heston if you don’t live in the US? ---
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/6 "2003-07-28T19:16:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\ ***Bert** , what do you know about Mr. Heston besides his involvement with the NRA? And, if you would care to tell, how _old_ are you? \*\* Hi Baker, I’m 102 and a half, at leat in part because I managed to avoid Mr. H and his friends. So far that is. Sorry to all for the name spellink mistake in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/7 "2003-07-28T19:21:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Who precisely is it that you are constantly defending youselves against? Afraid the Red Indians may attack and take back all the land you stole? Maybe many black men with large penises will break into your homes looking for a good time? Quite obviously we need that many guns to fight off the intelligent apes who are,at this moment, plotting to take over the world and bury the statue of liberty. When you and all your namby-pamby countrymates are slaves kept in wooden cages for the ape’s asumement don’t come crying to us for help. ---
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/8 "2003-07-28T19:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Or what country. Why do you care so much about Heston if you don’t live in the US? \*\* Sorry, but you assume incorrectly. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/9 "2003-07-28T19:32:41Z")
Who’s Charleston Heston? ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/10 "2003-07-28T19:36:48Z")
**Charleston Heston** is the Republican black sheep of the **Charleston Chew** family. He only shows up at family reunions occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/11 "2003-07-28T19:37:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bert the Turtle_ > **Sorry, but you assume incorrectly.** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > **Just imagine if the rest of the world was as paranoid and trigger-happy as you - we’d all have bombed the USA long ago just to defend ourselves.** You should work on your pronouns then, because it sounds as if you are comparing the rest of the world’s attitude to those of the US. And your use of “we” in reference to both yourself and the rest of the world makes it sound like you are not a resident of the US. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/12 "2003-07-28T19:40:41Z")
I have a very funny mental image of Chuck doing the Charleston with an M-16 right now! And as far as Mr. Heston being the subject of the OP, I am having a very hard time picturing him as a “mindless, paranoid, white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban American” but maybe that’s just because he played Moses! 😉 Go out and play **Bert** , it’s a beautiful day. ---
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/13 "2003-07-28T19:49:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*You should work on your pronouns then, because it sounds as if you are comparing the rest of the world’s attitude to those of the US. And your use of “we” in reference to both yourself and the rest of the world makes it sound like you are not a resident of the US. \*\* Thank you for demonstrating part of my point. The rest of the world does actually exist, and it’s also possible to have originated someplace else yet to be in the USA some of the time. Also, since you kind of brought this up, who exactly in the USA is not the descendant of an imigrant (other than the folks on the reservations that have been so kindly gifted to them?) Suddenly all the fear of foreign nationals? Tell me your family wasn’t Irish, Scottish, Polish, German, English, Dutch, Mexican, Peruvian, Icelandic or whatever just a few generations ago. I am a resident of the world, and we are all, you and me, collectively under threat from the USA, much more than the threat from (other) terrorists, wherever we may happen to live. ---
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/14 "2003-07-28T19:50:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EJsGirl \* > \*\*I have a very funny mental image of Chuck doing the Charleston with an M-16 right now! > > And as far as Mr. Heston being the subject of the OP, I am having a very hard time picturing him as a “mindless, paranoid, white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban American” but maybe that’s just because he played Moses! 😉 > > Go out and play **Bert** , it’s a beautiful day. \*\* Thank you, that’s good therapy advice. I was having a grumpy day. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/15 "2003-07-28T19:56:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > \*\*Hi Baker, I’m 102 and a half, at leat in part because I managed to avoid Mr. H and his friends. So far that is. Sorry to all for the name spellink mistake in the OP. \*\* The reason I was asking about your age was because I was curious to learn if you were old enough to move out of your parent’s basement yet. Based on the neurotic and disjointed tone of your posts, the poor spelling, and the obvious lack of biographical data about Heston’s life and career, I figured you are a bored student waiting for school to start in the fall. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/16 "2003-07-28T19:58:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > \*\*Thank you for demonstrating part of my point. The rest of the world does actually exist, and it’s also possible to have originated someplace else yet to be in the USA some of the time. > Also, since you kind of brought this up, who exactly in the USA is not the descendant of an imigrant (other than the folks on the reservations that have been so kindly gifted to them?) Suddenly all the fear of foreign nationals? Tell me your family wasn’t Irish, Scottish, Polish, German, English, Dutch, Mexican, Peruvian, Icelandic or whatever just a few generations ago. > I am a resident of the world, and we are all, you and me, collectively under threat from the USA, much more than the threat from (other) terrorists, wherever we may happen to live. \*\* Demonstrating part of your point? And how does my belief that you are not a resident of the United States or my illuminating your shoddy grammar do anything to prove that Heston is, in fact, a cunt? Or that the NRA is bad? Methinks your logical faculties are a bit askew. The rest was a nice little polemic. I’ve seen better, though. If you can keep a tidier train of thought and reference Chomsky some, then I’ll start to give you a higher score. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/17 "2003-07-28T20:11:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*And there are plenty of gun owners who aren’t particularly fond of the NRA. I’m one of them. \*\* I’m two of them. Well, in a _one_ kind of way. ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/18 "2003-07-28T20:19:57Z")
WEll the Y2K thing was overblown, but then most of your die-hard NRA types already owned guns to begin with. As for the logic of owning firearms. This country has a problem with violence and crime, just like many other countries. Some of us choose to keep and own firearms for self defense as well as sport. Statistical evidence has demonstrated that privately owned firarms kill and injure far fewer people than cigarettes each year. People of any age group. Perhaps you should be more upset about smokes and work your way down to guns. It is also known through documents obtained after the war that one of the main reasons the Japanese did not attempt to invade any American city was that we have an armed populace. And if you claim to be an American then stop being a “we” when you refer to other nations. While I don’t believe in “love it or leave it” I do think that if you want to reap the benefits of living here by birth or immigration you are at least obliged to claim the nation even when you don’t agree with everything it does. I have a lot of problems with my nation, but it’s still my nation. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/19 "2003-07-28T20:26:32Z")
You’re an idiot, Bert. Pull your head back into your shell. I don’t support the NRA, but I don’t find them to be paranoid at all. I don’t think the common person needs, requires or should have a sub-machine gun, but I definitely think our firearms ownership is at stake and needs to be protected. And what really, does this have to do with Charlton Heston? Fuck, he’s even retired from the NRA. Pay closer attention. Sam (Who works for a 2nd amendment lawyer) ---
**Author:** ![Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@Bert\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bert_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/20 "2003-07-28T20:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Demonstrating part of your point? And how does my belief that you are not a resident of the United States or my illuminating your shoddy grammar do anything to prove that Heston is, in fact, a cunt? Or that the NRA is bad? Methinks your logical faculties are a bit askew. > > The rest was a nice little polemic. I’ve seen better, though. If you can keep a tidier train of thought and reference Chomsky some, then I’ll start to give you a higher score. \*\* Gee, thanks for your partial approval. You and Baker should get together and form the embryonic “deeply pedantic but forgot to mention the actual topic of discussion” club. Shoddy grammar? Kindly analyse the structure of “Fuck You” and report. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494.md?page=2)