# Charleston Heston is a cunt (a bit of a rant) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494 "2003-07-28T18:59:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/21 "2003-07-28T20:44:03Z")
So you’re telling me the NRA in a quest for profit has through a guy named Chuck made all us suburbanites giddy with paranoia and as seen in our willingness to buy generators we’re now an emminent threat to the safety of the entire world. Bert, who the hell’s not shooting straight? ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/22 "2003-07-28T20:47:20Z")
Oh yeah, well Charlton Heston’s rubber, and you’re glue! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/23 "2003-07-28T20:51:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zen101 \* > \*\*Statistical evidence has demonstrated that privately owned firarms kill and injure far fewer people than cigarettes each year. People of any age group. Perhaps you should be more upset about smokes and work your way down to guns. \*\* Oh yeah, great idea. Give up smoking and take up guns. That’s a winning combination right there.:dubious: Let’s throw in a little pepper spray and PMS while we’re at it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/24 "2003-07-28T20:51:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > \*\*Gee, thanks for your partial approval. You and Baker should get together and form the embryonic “deeply pedantic but forgot to mention the actual topic of discussion” club. Shoddy grammar? Kindly analyse the structure of “Fuck You” and report. \*\* Awwwwww…ism’s getting cwanky? Maybe it’s time for your nap. If you wanted an actual discussion on a topic, you should have actually come up with a reasonable, factually supported statement and put it in Great Debates. Since it’s the Pit, I’m just going to mock you and your dumbass OP. And you mucked up the capitalization of fuck you. Getting better, though. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/25 "2003-07-28T20:53:06Z")
Oh, wow. It’s Bizarro Stormfront. Charleston Heston instead of Martian Luther King, Jr. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/26 "2003-07-28T20:56:43Z")
“I have a dream that one day, my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged on the planet of their origin but by the content of their character.” - Martian Luther King, Jr. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/27 "2003-07-28T20:59:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bert the Turtle_ > **Tell me your family wasn’t Irish, Scottish, Polish, German, English, Dutch, Mexican, Peruvian, Icelandic or whatever just a few generations ago.** As a matter of fact, yes, I am a first-generation immigrant from [Scottland](http://www.theavclub.com/avclub3324/bonusfeature13324.html). Are you repressing my proud heritage? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/28 "2003-07-28T21:00:19Z")
Oooh, Bert can’t possibly be an American! He spelled "analyse with an S. As for his command to _analyze_ and report on the structure of “Fuck You”, well, I can do that. But I doubt Bert can tell me anything major about Heston and his political activities and beliefs over the last forty years. Nor is is likely he can give any biographical data, much less even a basic film, television, or stage acting bibliography. Let’s see “Fuck” is used in the imperative sense, therefore it is a command. “You” is in the second person singular, and, when combined with “Fuck”, and directed at myself, is a command for me to have intercourse with myself. As Mr. Bester said on _Babylon 5_, “Anatomically impossible, Mr. Garibaldi, but you’re welcome to try” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/29 "2003-07-28T21:00:52Z")
_pointing a gun at Heston’s feet_ Dance, Charleston! ---
**Author:** ![schplebordnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@schplebordnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schplebordnik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/30 "2003-07-28T21:31:44Z")
“The mindless paranoid attitude of white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban America threatens the safety of the whole world each and every day.” Plenty of non-white people in American want to retain their Constitutionally-enumerated right to bear arms. And how exactly does a US suburbanite owning a piece threaten, say, anyone in Europe or Japan. PS: In the States, you call someone a “Red Indian” you are likely to be, at a minimum, be called a racist, or get some buckshot or rock salt shot in your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/31 "2003-07-28T22:03:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > **Hi Baker, I’m 102 and a half…** [Dr. Evil] Riiiiiight… [/Dr. Evil] ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/32 "2003-07-28T22:06:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > \*\*The mindless paranoid attitude of white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban America threatens the safety of the whole world each and every day. > Example - “Y2K” scared the crap out of you all and sold a whole lot of guns and generators. Nothing happened of course, except that gun and generator sales rose sharply for a while. \*\* You’ll have to explain to me how the number of rifles and generators sold in the United States threatens the safety of the rest of the world. Is Canada or Europe endangered by our ability to shoot something or provide our own electricity in emergency situations? > [@](#): > > \*\* > Who precisely is it that you are constantly defending youselves against? Afraid the Red Indians may attack and take back all the land you stole? Maybe many black men with large penises will break into your homes looking for a good time? \*\* The only two people who tried to break into my home were white. As to the size of their penis I do not know for they wore pants. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Just imagine if the rest of the world was as paranoid and trigger-happy as you - we’d all have bombed the USA long ago just to defend ourselves. \*\* 🙂 Sure, just imagine if the rest of the world was like us. We might have seen two world wars started in Europe, the mechanized rape of Nanking by Japanese troops, multiple attempts at genocide throughout the world, and all of this in the last century. Thank goodness none of that happened because the rest of the world isn’t paranoid like we are. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Mr. Heston and the rest of the NRA (agent of the arms manufacturers, who create the fear just for profit from dumb people) all suck Rhino dicks. \*\* You’re am amusing fella. Did you come up with this all by yourself or did someone help you? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/33 "2003-07-28T22:10:12Z")
I can understand why people feel the need to be armed in the USA. It’s because everyone else is! Let’s see, the last time I was a victim of a violent crime in my neighborhood was three years ago when I was held up in the parking lot of a fabric store. I made him give me my good purse back. Some people feel that the appropriate solution is responsible gun ownership; some feel that gun ownership should be very closely regulated if not banned all together. Since I support the Constitution on every thing else, I support the right to bear arms. I just think they should be limited to muskets. (You see, _Turtle_, some Americans actually agree with you that there are too many guns here. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not all alike.) As for the Y2K experience, you may be too young to remember, but educated people tend to credit our being alerted to potential problems with having saved us from all of those problems. An ounce of prevention and so forth. But what does that have to do with just the USA. Hasn’t Y2K reached you yet? Further, what is wrong with being a cunt? That’s not much of an insult. That’s just where both you and I came from. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/34 "2003-07-28T22:31:39Z")
The OP is more than just a little bit off. However, using this sort of tripe to defend against the OP’s rant does nothing to support the pro-gun ownership position: > [@](#): > > It is also known through documents obtained after the war that one of the main reasons the Japanese did not attempt to invade any American city was that we have an armed populace. We sliced, diced, and obliterated this silly claim on the boards, many months ago. It has no basis in fact (or even legend–it was creatred out of whole cloth to make a fallacious point). ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/35 "2003-07-28T22:49:58Z")
Bert, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Does she know you go around calling people “cunt”? Seriously, how can someone as obviously childish as you are also be so misogynistic? After your testicles descend you are going to have many years of being rejected by women, and will therefore probably hate and fear females. But it’s rare to for the prepubescent to have developed such an early hatred for women. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/36 "2003-07-28T23:09:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bert the Turtle \* > **The mindless paranoid attitude of white, insular, unimaginative, small-minded, fear-ridden suburban America threatens the safety of the whole world each and every day.** You talkin’ to me? :mad: Yup, our Bertie is odds-on to be from the U.K., what with “analyse” and “Red Indians”. His patter is bound to improve after he goes back to school and picks up his “O” rings, or whatever it is they do at University, when they’re not frothing incoherently about ex-N.R.A. presidents. ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/37 "2003-07-28T23:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tdn \* > \*\*Oh yeah, great idea. Give up smoking and take up guns. That’s a winning combination right there.:dubious: Let’s throw in a little pepper spray and PMS while we’re at it. > > 😃 \*\* Yeah, thats exactly what I said. But now that you twisted my comment it does make more sense to own a gun than a pack of smokes. Cigarette smoking is the single most preventable cause of premature death in the United States. Each year, more than 400,000 Americans die from cigarette smoking. In fact, one in every five deaths in the United States is smoking related. Every year, smoking kills more than 276,000 men and 142,000 women. Gun related deaths. 28,663 Am I saying “don’t smoke, get a gun?” No. I am saying that people expend a disproportionate amount of energy on things in relation tho their actual threat. I quit smoking for almost a year, then I started up again. While I hate the fact that I’m a smoker and enjoy the freedom which allows me to own guns I have no illusions about which one is a bigger danger to my health. People who are accidentally shot by firearms are typically using them foolishly or improperly or with those who are. If it is the gun owner who shoots himself or the child of the gun owner who shoots himself then while it may be tragic it is no more so tragic than any number of more common ways the gene pool thins itself of the incompetent. If you are a gun owner you lock it up AND you educate those who live in your household about firearm safety or you suffer the consequence. People who are educated about dangerous things like fire and guns and traffic don’t face anywhere near the risks that idiots who think ownership is all they need. Frankly the fewer of those folks the better off we all are. We need more dangerous things in our society as there are too many folks who are a danger to themselves and a waste of resources. You make things safer and safer and easier and easier and you are breeding for weakness and stupidity. Right now we are producing veal people, those who lack the ability or desire to get up out of their own filth to fetch for themselves because everything is handed to them. when the overwhelming majority of ambition and ability is concentrated in a slight minority you have set yourself up for a serf state. And my gun is not my penis. I definately get more use out of my gun lately and to look around my toilet I’d say I’m a much better shot with one than the other. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/38 "2003-07-29T00:01:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zen101 \* > **We need more dangerous things in our society as there are too many folks who are a danger to themselves and a waste of resources.** You make things safer and safer and easier and easier and you are breeding for weakness and stupidity. Right now we are producing veal people, those who lack the ability or desire to get up out of their own filth to fetch for themselves because everything is handed to them. when the overwhelming majority of ambition and ability is concentrated in a slight minority you have set yourself up for a serf state. [BOLDING MINE] Wow. Just… wow. So we’ll kill the stupid people! Surely _that_ will make everything better! ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/39 "2003-07-29T00:21:50Z")
No Super Gnat. We let the stupid people kill themselves. Sentiment is one thing and I’m certainly care for some specific stupid or ineffective people and as an individual I suffer the thought of losing them to stupidity. But when speaking generalities you must be dispassionate. Your response is one based on emotion and not thought out. As I never said “we” kill anyone. It is like someone with gangrene insisting that his diseases leg not be removed. Understandable, but foolish nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494/40 "2003-07-29T00:54:54Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by zen101 \* > \*\* Right now we are producing veal people…_\* This makes me vaguely uneasy, in a soylent green sort of way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charleston-heston-is-a-cunt-a-bit-of-a-rant/191494.md?page=3)