# Charlton Heston has Alzheimer's! Joe Eszterhas has Cancer! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190 "2002-08-09T19:57:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/1 "2002-08-09T19:57:10Z")
Big news-day in show-biz land . . . I won’t comment on Charlton Heston, as I intensely disklike him but not enough to take shots at someone with Alzheimer’s . . . As for Joe, I read his over-the-top mea culpa op-ed piece in today’s _NYT_ and—as big an anti-terbaccer as I am—found myself rolling my eyes like dice in a Damon Runyon story. I agree with most of what he says, but _yikes_, the weepy self-flagellating! From the _Times_: “Smoking was an integral part of many of my screenplays because I was a militant smoker. It was part of a bad boy image I’d cultivated for a long time - smoking, drinking, partying, rock ‘n’ roll . . . Smoking, I once believed, was every person’s right. I don’t think smoking is every person’s right anymore. I think smoking should be as illegal as heroin . . . I have been an accomplice to the murders of untold numbers of human beings. I am admitting this only because I have made a deal with God. Spare me, I said, and I will try to stop others from committing the same crimes I did . . . My hands are bloody; so are Hollywood’s. My cancer has caused me to attempt to cleanse mine.” ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/2 "2002-08-09T20:05:48Z")
Not only Charlton Heston, but Abigail van Buren has Alzheimer’s, as well. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/3 "2002-08-09T20:06:52Z")
Soylent Green is…, is…, um. Well, I forget. All I can say is I hope someone has locked up his guns. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/4 "2002-08-09T20:06:54Z")
**Eve** Would I be taking a shot at Mr. Heston if I said, please somebody take his guns away now? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/5 "2002-08-09T21:03:00Z")
I worked on a show with Charlton Heston and although I detest his politics and his idiotic views on guns, the man is really very nice, very polite to all his fans, low key and a really good guy to be around. While other lesser stars would arrive with an entourage of makeup artists/hairstylists/agents/mgrs and the like, Chuck showed up alone with his tackle box of base makeup and a framed copy of the yellowed-with-age telegram letting him know he got the role of Spartacus. He also has a wicked sense of humor! I was also lucky enough to get to meet “Dear Abby” a couple of times - a gracious lady and I’m sorry to hear about her as well. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/6 "2002-08-09T21:42:57Z")
> [@](#): > > “My hands are bloody; so are Hollywood’s. My cancer has caused me to attempt to cleanse mine.” Forget it, Eszterhas … Here! Read for us your butcher’s bill - a list of your crimes against humanity! … The dead cry out for justice! _Jade Showgirls Sliver Basic Instinct Hearts of Fire Flashdance F.I.S.T._ [sub](Coding fixed…and could someone please provide JE with some _more_ cancer? – Uke)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/7 "2002-08-09T21:54:17Z")
I saw Joe Ezterhas’s weepy rant in the Times today, and it was pathetic. Look, I don’t smoke, and I find cigarette smoke annoying. But let’s not mince words: the idea that “Basic Instinct” or anything else Ezterhas ever wrote encouraged people to smoke is asinine. “Basic Instinct” never inspired any kid to do anything except maybe learn to use the fast forward and freeze-frame buttons on the VCR remote. Oh sure, things were different 50 or 60 years ago. Back then, John Wayne and Humphrey Bogart made smoking look cool. But for as long as I can remember now, movie characters who smoke might as well have “I’M EVIL” tattooed on their foreheads! The minute Sharon Stone lit up a cigarette in “Basic Instinct,” it was obvious she was the killer, because innocent people never smoke in movies or on TV! Even if you never found out ANYTHING about that old dude on the X-Files, you could tell he was supposed to be evil, the instant he lit up a Morley. ONLY evil people smoke, on TV!. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/8 "2002-08-10T00:16:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DMark \* > \*\*…Chuck showed up alone with his tackle box of base makeup and a framed copy of the yellowed-with-age telegram letting him know he got the role of Spartacus… \*\* Did I miss something? I thought Kirk Douglas played Spartacus. Perhaps it was Moses? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/9 "2002-08-10T01:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\* > > Did I miss something? I thought Kirk Douglas played Spartacus. Perhaps it was Moses? \*\* No, _I’m_ Spartacus! ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/10 "2002-08-10T02:17:09Z")
My girlfriend has informed me that I have symptoms similar to those that may be experienced by future flu sufferers. I’m still debating whether or not to call a press conference. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/11 "2002-08-10T05:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\* > > Did I miss something? I thought Kirk Douglas played Spartacus. Perhaps it was Moses? \*\* Or Ben Hur, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/12 "2002-08-10T05:56:22Z")
And [Jaclyn Smith Has Cancer](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=796&e=19&u=/eo/20020809/en_celeb_eo/10373) See what being the “smart” Angel got her? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/13 "2002-08-10T19:39:38Z")
No, no, Kate Jackson was the Smart One (and she had her bout with breast cancer in 1987, so your point remains valid). Jaclyn Smith was the Chesty Brunette, cast to contrast with the Chesty Blonde, a rotating role. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/14 "2002-08-10T20:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kaylasdad99 \* > \*\* > > Or Ben Hur, maybe? \*\* OOPS! Thank you all for pointing out my own memory lapse! Yes, it was Ben Hur… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/15 "2002-08-10T20:04:40Z")
**RTA** , you forgot Esterhaus’s _worst_ film (or so I’m told, I’ve only seen _Basic Instinct_ and that cured me of any desire to see another Esterhaus piece): _Alan Smithee’s Burn, Hollywood, Burn_! Heston, I really feel sorry for. I don’t agree with many of the man’s politics, but to slowly lose one’s mind is the worst horror I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/16 "2002-08-10T23:56:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Smoking, I once believed, was every person’s right. I don’t think smoking is every person’s right anymore. I think smoking should be as illegal as heroin . . . \*\* I feel like I’m covered with a layer of slime just from having read that. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/17 "2002-08-11T00:00:19Z")
Whups! I should have noted in my last post, I am not replying to Eve, but to Mr. Eszterhaus. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/18 "2002-08-11T00:40:50Z")
Oh, geez… Esterhas’ piece is just so glurgy. I wish him well, but the martyr role does not fit him at all… even if indeed he were being smote for the immoral behaviors he glamorized, why should he just be atoning for doing so to _smoking_? As for Heston, while politically and socially I stand pretty much for the opposite of most that he does, I have great respect for the person and artist and I feel it’s terrible, couldn’t have happened to a nicer rabid right-winger. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/19 "2002-08-11T06:02:27Z")
So, is Heston really a “rabid right-winger”? I know he supports the Second Amendment, and some people don’t agree with the NRA’s position, but let’s look at the rest of Heston’s record: –firmly supported the National Endowment of the Arts, even when it was being pilloried by conservatives –marched with the Civil Rights supporters in Selma, Ala –supported Ronald Reagan for president –supported John F. Kennedy for president. –union president (SAG) –worked with Martin L. King to integrate Hollywood’s trade unions. Sure, there’s conservatism in there (moreso lately) but not of the rabid type. Seems to me he has done a lot of good things, on AND off the screen. Regarding Eszterhas; well, there’s not much worse than a reformed smoker. ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190/20 "2002-08-11T10:43:18Z")
Charlton Heston has had Alzheimer’s since the day he was born. imho. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/charlton-heston-has-alzheimers-joe-eszterhas-has-cancer/123190.md?page=2)