Archangel: “God, it’s Joe Eszterhas on line one. He says he’ll change a few minor details in his next screenplay if you’ll miraculously intervene in his cancer.”
God: (shakes his head, goes back to scanning the trade papers)
Archangel “I’m sorry, Mr. Eszterhas, God is in a meeting right now and will have to call you back later. I don’t know. Later.”
I’m not even religious and I can see the fundamental flaw here. Since when does one make a deal with God? If he screwed up, it’s penance time, no rewards from God. Get with the program, Joe, whether God spares you or not, if you did the crime you gotta make amends. Jeepers.
Ok, I know that old Chuck has rubbed an awful lot of people the wrong way, but I read the text of his memo, and I was really touched. I understand from some friends that he is a really nice, gracious, down-to-earth guy, and I feel terribly for his family.
Did you know that he autographed every copy of that memo? I guess he thought a mass-mailing would seem cheap or shallow.
Ronald Reagan: Does he or doesn’t he? Only his hairdresser knows for sure.
Charlton Heston: Obvious toupe’
Abigail Van Buren: Years of Aqua Net sprayed on her noggin.
Let this be a lesson to us all: Keep hair dye, toup’ glue, and hair sprays containg Volatile Organic Compounds away from your head lest you get Alzheimer’s.
Which, of course, if your theory’s correct, we should be expecting some interesting performances from Shatner in the next couple of years.