# Chas E. , you are a complete tool **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567 "2001-07-23T22:57:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/41 "2001-07-24T12:29:53Z")
The most delightfully insane part of Chuckles’ otaku rant is how he dismisses all anime fans as Orientalists who assume that only they understand an exotic civilization because they’ve read up on it obssessively, and he knows this because he’s had the years on end of schooling you need to even begin to comprehend the alien culture of Japan so you can fully appreciate the Japanese equivalent of _Doonesbury_. Fuckin’ snob. Sure, Chas, there’s a huge difference in cultures, but you don’t gotta be Sir Francis Burton to bridge them. I’m impressed that you’ve lived here so long you haven’t noticed American group dynamics from peer pressure to voting blocks to churches and unions and such. It’s a pity your Japanese studies have led you to believe it’s a country of zombie drones, too. It’s cute that you want to show off your book larnin’, but it makes you look damn dumb when you forget American history traces elements back to Abraham and didn’t magicly appear in 1602, and bragging you needed six weeks to read the Asahi News “Frank and Ernest” is not reason to brag. To sum up, Chas, in words you can understand, ook ook ooh ooh ah ah chee chee. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/42 "2001-07-24T12:56:52Z")
Ah, Mr Charles E, master of going off the deep end. He seems to indeed be an expert in the fine art of over-reacting. When I read his totally off the wall attack on anime fans, it reminded me of a thread I started, in which a poster took his vast knowledge of 9 year olds and gave some really, um, overheated advice. I remember thinking “this guy lives in some alternate worse-case-senario universe.” This poster was Chas.E. Here’s the link: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70588](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70588) I think he was encouraged in this thread as many posters jumped overboard with him. Here’s my favorite ChasE. quote from that thread. > [@](#): > > biggirl, I have seen too many children driven to suicide by harassment to take such a mild tack. Your child could easily be next So, you see, Chas is not a tool. He knows too much-- has seen too much-- to be able sit idly by while supposedly smart people act “appropriately”. Chas knows the truth, laugh at your own peril! ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/43 "2001-07-24T13:12:17Z")
I dunno. If you ask me, **Chas E.** has crossed the jerk line often. I have a way of dealing with his posts. If I see his name in front of a post, I skip it. I find I miss no important content this way. Message ends. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/44 "2001-07-24T14:04:32Z")
Ooops, you’re right, I was thinking of _otoko_. Asumemasen. Chas E is still a jackass. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/45 "2001-07-24T14:12:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doobieous \* > \*\*He’s also a tool because he thinks the Japanese are the only authoritative source on rice preparation and consumption, blatantly forgetting that the rest of the rice eating world doesnt look to them. > \*\* In reference to the above, check out the [soy sauce thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=78928). OK, **Chas** , we’ll all bow down to you in matters Japanese, including anything and everything even vaguely related to Japan such as (but not limited to) broiled salmon, white rice, and soy sauce. [sub]I’m sorry, what means this word “ethnocentrism”?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/46 "2001-07-24T21:16:29Z")
So tool was the inteded work, eh? I’ll have to remember that so I can impress the kids on the street with how hep I am. I just assumed that it was a typo and “fool” was the intended word. By the way, Japan is the world authority on rice preparation (with Thailand coming in second). I’m not saying the other places are wrong, just misguided. Chas.E is still and otaku about otaku though. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/47 "2001-07-24T22:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > **By the way, Japan is the world authority on rice preparation (with Thailand coming in second). I’m not saying the other places are wrong, just misguided.** Soooo, you’re saying that China is misguided. Gotcha. So people like soy on their rice. So? It’s their choice; after all, they’re the ones who are gonna eat it, not you. Personally, I like a sprinkling of soy sauce _and_ a pat of butter mixed in. Decent stuff. As for **Asshol.E** , I must say I’ve never witnessed anyone else who’s sat on such a high horse and yet been so wrong about most everything. I still remember those patronizing posts when you [“corrected”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70119) me about the word _hitome_, asswipe, and you never admitted you were wrong, even after a third party backed me up. I’m sure the list of offenses is much, much longer than this and the other Pit thread about you, bud. [sub][sup]That quote from Galileo gives me this fun mental image of Chas and Homer arguing over who gets to be on the cross…[/sub][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/48 "2001-07-24T22:21:02Z")
The funny thing about that comic **Chas** took six months to figure out is that I don’t think he got the punchline right. Of course, I only have his description to go on, never having seen it myself, but… Chas says the joke is that the stonemason doesn’t realize that women are still going to be buried with their husbands, which doesn’t make much sense. The guy makes headstones for a living, he’s likely to know more about burial laws than the other two guys in the bar. Further, the final panel is of two headstones side by side, indicating that the stonemason is correct, that he will be making twice as much money. The joke seems to be that the practice of married women retaining their maiden names, which I’m guessing is a liberal, middle-class concern, is going to be made into law thanks to the support of blue collar workers (stonemasons) who are usually much more conservative. The humor is in the possibility of unlikely political alliances spawned by this issue. At least, that’s how I see it. But what do I know, my culture is only three hundred years old. BTW: _Six months?_ It’s a four panel cartoon, not _Rashomon_! How on Earth did you waste six months of class time on this? And is anyone else deeply disturbed by the idea that **Chas E.** is a teacher? I can scarcely think of someone less suited to the job short of a convicted sex offender. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/49 "2001-07-24T22:21:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > I just assumed that it was a typo and “fool” was the intended word. Well heck, why not make it Double Coupon Day in the BBQ Pit and say that **Chas.E** is both a tool and a fool:) Oh, and RickJay: you’re making a dangerous assumption by asking that question with a singular noun and verb;) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/50 "2001-07-24T22:58:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > > \*\*They laughed at Galileo. They laughed at Newton. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. > > > > - Carl Sagan > > \*\* > > Actually, to the best of my knowledge “they” never laughed at Newton. They give him a prestiguous post in Cambridge University instead. > > Although I’m sure a few students had a chuckle at how nerdy he was. > > pan \*\* IIRC I don’t the church laughed at Galileo. On the contrary they took him very seriously and as much as admitted (to him) that he was probably correct but that his views were not appropriate for public consumption. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/51 "2001-07-24T23:12:35Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by BayleDomon \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Soooo, you’re saying that China is misguided. Gotcha. > \*\* I was being facetious. Now about this thing with putting butter in your rice. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/52 "2001-07-25T00:13:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > \*\*I was being facetious. Now about this thing with putting butter in your rice. \*\* Yeah, I did it, copper! And I’ll do it again if I hafta! And none of you can stop me! Bwahaha. _ahem_ It’s not too bad, really. I think we mostly did that when the rice was too dry, or when we didn’t have any other sauces to mix in. If I have the choice, though, I’ll take my rice with teriyaki or ginger sauce. Yum. Plain rice is just that, plain. Just because it came from Japan, that doesn’t automatically make it Food Of The Gods. (That last was for you, Chester.) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/53 "2001-07-25T01:56:13Z")
I wonder how Roman gods prepared rice on Mt. Olympus. ::hopes he got the right god-dwelling place match . . . it’s been a long day:: ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/54 "2001-07-25T02:40:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BayleDomon \* > **Plain rice is just that, plain. Just because it came from Japan, that doesn’t automatically make it Food Of The Gods. (That last was for you, Chester.)** Yeah. God forbid you should put anything like, oh I don’t know, [vinegar](http://www.mainichi.co.jp/english/food/sushi.jpg) on it. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/55 "2001-07-25T06:17:13Z")
Come on people, the correct way to prepare rice, according to my fiancee’s mother (who is Filipino) is plain, with no additives, and it should be lumpy enough to eat with your fingers. Now that that’s been settled once and for all . . . Chas is also apparently an expert in cognitive development, neurology, and teaching ESL. Is there no end to his knowledge? His calm assurance that his limited expertise in one area makes him an unassailable expert in everything even remotely related to that area seems suspiciously similar to another poster whose supposed expertise related to a minor elective surgery made him an unassailable expert in all sexually related matters. Or is it just me? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/56 "2001-07-25T06:37:50Z")
Nah…Jack’s ramblings were at least amusing. Chuckles has no such saving grace. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/57 "2001-07-25T08:19:14Z")
crucifixion is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/58 "2001-07-25T13:00:57Z")
Our good **Chas** might profit from reading [_this_](http://www.vmyths.com/fas/fas1.cfm). While it’s aimed at the Anti-virus and news industries, it contains useful lessons for us all. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/59 "2001-07-25T15:28:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*I wonder how Roman gods prepared rice on Mt. Olympus. > > ::hopes he got the right god-dwelling place match . . . it’s been a long day:: \*\* Well, you were pretty close – it was the Greek gods who lived on Mount Olympus. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrho12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@Pyrrho12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrho12)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567/60 "2001-07-25T15:29:40Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by KKBattousai_ > \*\*I mean, hell, if somebody wants to judge/condemn me for one my interests or any one aspect of my personality, then I > say that that says more about them than it does me. And what it says, well, it ain’t good. > \*\* Given the wise words that **KKBattousai** said above, I should probably just let this thread die. I’ll be heading to Canada for a week long vacation tomorrow, so I won’t even be able to see any responses this post might get. **Chas.E** has disappeared from this thread, back up his own asshole from whence he came. Maybe all this discussion has forced him to finally realize that he was being a jerk in those other threads. Or, more likely, maybe he just stormed off in a hissy fit, unwilling to spend any more time with all these “otaku” who won’t accept his every word as gospel. In any case, I don’t see any good that can come of making this post. However, it’s been simmering in my mind for a while, and I have to get it off my chest. It has been pointed out that **Chas.E** doesn’t listen to other posters very well. Maybe he’ll be more willing to listen to himself. I’ve compiled a list of quotes from **Chas** which capture the impression that he’s given me of himself. _I don’t need to go out of my way to look for deviance amongst **Chas.E** , it is obvious from **his** behavior in this thread_… Take the following definition of orientalism, from the **Sailor Moon is not a documentary** thread: > [@](#): > > non-Japanese otaku are not aware of the issues surrounding “orientalism.” These people think they are exotic or special because they are involved with an exotic imported materials written with funny little squiggles that only THEY can decipher. They are Orientalists. Now, compare it to **Chas.E** ’s other comments from that same thread: > [@](#): > > I myself AM sort of an expert on Japan > > I have the one thing they can never hope to achieve: Japanese language fluency. > > Scylla, your description of your “understanding” of Japanese culture just proves that you haven’t got a clue. Let me know someday if you ever learn what nihonjinron and shimaguni konjou mean. > > BTW, when I was in Japan I lived in a temple for 2 months, right next to a graveyard and I learned all about this stuff firsthand, and I was the only person in my class who got the joke. Next, consider the following passage, regarding orientalists: > [@](#): > > And it’s a vicious circle, they have to pump up the exotic reputation of their subject in order to inflate their egos. How ridiculous. And compare it to the following: > [@](#): > > It took our class about 6 weeks of intense studies of all this stuff before the teacher thought we knew enough background to understand this comic. > > There is a huge difference between walking down a US street and seeing nothing older than 100 years, and walking down a Japanese street and routinely seeing things nearly 1000 years old. > > Japanese people have extremely deep cultural knowledge, it is even encoded in their language, where every single kanji character evokes a huge background of literary and cultural associations going back to ancient China, and every Japanese student goes through years of cultural background training to understand this material intuitively, they study to a level that no westerner could ever understand. Nothing much to add to the above. Interpret the texts as you see fit. To close, just one more line from **Chas** … > [@](#): > > Sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chas-e-you-are-a-complete-tool/73567.md?page=4)