# Chavez, you glorious loon! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166 "2010-08-04T16:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/1 "2010-08-04T16:57:29Z")
Chavez is loosing the marble he had left. He has disinterred the corpse of Bolivar and now believes they are one. He outs himself as a truther and a fake moon landing believer. A trifecta of nuttiness. A [hilarious article](http://www.slate.com/id/2262520/pagenum/all/#p2) on Salon. The best is this: > [@](#): > > Chávez, in other words, is very close to the climactic moment when he will announce that he is a poached egg and that he requires a very large piece of buttered toast so that he can lie down and take a soothing nap. This is industrial-grade crazy here. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/2 "2010-08-04T17:52:58Z")
Perhaps he needs a visit from Juan Carlos again? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/3 "2010-08-04T19:39:33Z")
Unfortunately Juan Carlos is right now recovering from an operation that took place in May to remove a tumour from his lung, so I am afraid that he would be unable to deliver a righteous smackdown in person. Which is a pity. Maybe he could do it on the phone…? “Mr. Chavez, you have a phone call…” ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/4 "2010-08-04T20:15:59Z")
This sounds very much like a reaction to recreational chemicals. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/5 "2010-08-04T20:36:26Z")
> [@JoseB](#): > > Unfortunately Juan Carlos is right now recovering from an operation that took place in May to remove a tumour from his lung, so I am afraid that he would be unable to deliver a righteous smackdown in person. > > Which is a pity. > > Maybe he could do it on the phone…? > > “Mr. Chavez, you have a phone call…” For that matter, I’d not want to risk an in-person smackdown from Juan Carlos, even in his current state. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/6 "2010-08-04T21:34:54Z")
I can’t figure out if Hugo is a wily genius and gifted actor who has convinced the world that he’s just a bit off, or if he’s a total raving loon! I’m more inclined to think loon. He doesn’t need to worry about the US targeting him for assassination - there are probably more than a few Venezuelans who would gladly take a shot. I’d laugh if I didn’t feel so sorry for his countrymen. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/7 "2010-08-04T21:39:44Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’d laugh if I didn’t feel so sorry for his countrymen. I can certainly do both. I wonder how long until he’s dragged to a “nice, quiet place” by men with giant butterfly nets. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/8 "2010-08-04T21:43:57Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > I wonder how long until he’s dragged to a “nice, quiet place” by men with giant butterfly nets. Why do you hate the glorious Bolivarian Revolution? Are the Americans putting you to this? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/9 "2010-08-05T13:25:54Z")
Heh! How can somebody so obviously disturbed still function in society? What’s next? Tin foil hats? Bunkers? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/10 "2010-08-05T14:11:43Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > He has disinterred the corpse of Bolivar and now believes they are one. :eek: I thought you were being poetic and referring to Bolivar’s legacy or something. Now all I can think about is Norman Bates. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/11 "2010-08-05T15:51:21Z")
[I thought I had posted this earlier. Hmm.] Reminds me of _Bananas_: “From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now… 16 years old!” So I guess Fielding Mellish will be the next El Presidente. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/12 "2010-08-06T16:38:28Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > This sounds very much like a reaction to recreational chemicals. He must have dropped some really bad acid if he’s digging up bodies. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/13 "2010-08-06T17:47:13Z")
Y’know, it’s sad; when Hugo originally (and democratically!) turned upside-down and inside-out the old corrupt party system in Venezuela, that held so much potential promise… > [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > He outs himself as a truther and a fake moon landing believer. Well, but THAT part, by which if it were reported that the consensus in the USA is that the sky is blue and the acceleration of gravity at the Earth’s surface averages 9.8 m/s[sup]2[/sup], the presumption would be that can’t be true and it’s got to be some sort of scam set up by the capitalists to rip us off, is dishearteningly standard informational currency among the Latin American peoples (including even those of us within the US sphere). It wasn’t going to be that long before someone who bought into the whole \*“everything about the USA is part of The Conspiracy” \*not only got to the top but also was openly proud of it. OTOH the nonsense with the mystical cult of Bolívar’s (and B’s mistress’ ) relics, that’s creepy. I find myself thinking maybe it’s all a setup in which he figures if he acts weird enough people will prefer to keep their distance and not try anything “because you don’t know what that crazy guy will do”. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/14 "2010-08-06T19:28:54Z")
Hugo Chavez looks so much like a friend of mine, it’s not funny. Every time I watch a video of Chavez saying crazy stuff, it freaks me out a little. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/15 "2010-08-06T22:30:44Z")
This bears repeating: > [@](#): > > …he is a poached egg and that he requires a very large piece of buttered toast so that he can lie down and take a soothing nap. I plan on doing so. Many times at random intervals for the next few years. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/16 "2010-08-07T00:08:24Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > This bears repeating: > > > [@](#): > > > > …he is a poached egg and that he requires a very large piece of buttered toast so that he can lie down and take a soothing nap. > > I plan on doing so. Many times at random intervals for the next few years. Yeah, that brought a tear to my eye. Sniff… Guy deserves a Nobel of Literature for that. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/17 "2010-08-07T06:20:26Z")
What did you expect? It’s Christopher Hitchens. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/18 "2010-08-10T18:24:02Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > > This bears repeating:I plan on doing so. Many times at random intervals for the next few years. > > Yeah, that brought a tear to my eye. > > Sniff… > > Guy deserves a Nobel of Literature for that. Interestingly, he’s riffing off C.S. Lewis’s _Mere Christianity_ here. I didn’t realize it until I read Hitchens’ review of the new Philip Pullman in which he quotes the below passage. [QUOTE=C.S. Lewis] That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/19 "2010-08-10T23:37:37Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > [I thought I had posted this earlier. Hmm.] > > Reminds me of _Bananas_: > > “From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now… 16 years old!” > > So I guess Fielding Mellish will be the next El Presidente. They’ll have to clone his from just his nose first. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chavez-you-glorious-loon/549166/20 "2010-08-16T19:33:07Z")
[Hugo Chavez.](http://www.pauliddon.net/img/hugo%20chavez.jpg) [Andy Kaufman.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Akaufman1.jpg) With the right cosmetic surgeons and some years to immerse himself in the language and the culture… could it be?