# Cheap jokes about Americans **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 18, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342 "2005-05-18T01:42:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/21 "2005-05-18T12:12:17Z")
> [@Mk VII](#): > > I guess here it would be the gullible American tourist, totally ignorant of the country he is pasing through, dressed in brash plaids or wholly-unsuitable-for-the-weather clothing, easily parted from his money or sold an obviously fake historical artifact. > When Lake Havasu City, AZ bought the old London Bridge in the 1960s legend has it that they thought they were getting the one with the two towers that goes up and down in the middle. It’s the sort of thing we’d like to believe. American tourists must be saving their “brash plaid” for overseas, because I never, ever see anyone wearing plaid. Track suits in abundance. But why the knock on them anyway? ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/22 "2005-05-18T12:39:17Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > In it, they complain of the outsiders who’ve been imported to the Premiership League - the shit Irish, shit Italians, shit French, and so on. Not to drag this thread off course but there is reason to dislike the foreign imports into the Premiership and it isn’t to do with any sort of xenophobic reaction. When foregin players are brought in it damages the grass roots of the game and less attention is paid to developing home grown talent which damages the national team, which is obviously a bad thing. That said, the British don’t exactly love all other nations, there is still a strong dislike of the Germans but with good reason, they bombed our chip shop dag-nammit!! ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/23 "2005-05-18T12:45:42Z")
> [@](#): > > when she told him she was from Wales he asked her which state it was in Aside from the accent thing (anyone who believes Americans, yes, including the president) could miss the accent is nuts) we do have about 50 bazillion towns named London, Athens, Wales, whatever. There’re only so many names to go around! ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/24 "2005-05-18T12:57:01Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > American tourists must be saving their “brash plaid” for overseas, because I never, ever see anyone wearing plaid. > > Track suits in abundance. But why the knock on them anyway? Track suits - in their incarnation as ‘shell-suits’ are irredemiably associated with proles in the UK, particularly Liverpudlians. As in ‘What do you call a scouser in a white shell-suit? The bride.’ We British are equal opportunity stereotypers. If there’s not a ‘loud abnoxious yank’ around there’s bound to be some member of ‘the lower orders’ we can pick on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/25 "2005-05-18T13:05:31Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Bill Bryson kind of walked through England and wrote a wonderful book on his experiences. In it he tells how some outfit ( maybe a newspaper) conducted a survey and asked Brits just how special they thought they were - as a people. The answer came back: not special at all. That book would be _Notes from a Small Island_. It makes a fine companion piece to his later book about returning to America, _I’m a Stranger Here Myself_. After those, try Beppe Severgnini’s hilarious _Ciao, America!_ for an Italian’s view of stateside life - he noticed too many things to begin to list here. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/26 "2005-05-18T14:25:35Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > And these were the same folks who, in WWII, endured the V-1 and V-2 Rocket attacks, the incessant bombing raids, near famine, etc. And then, when one of their own Generals instituted the terrible fire bombing of Dresden and other German cities, the Brits were so outraged, they called for that man to be fired. And he was!!! No he wasn’t. He was criticised for it, and he couldn’t get a special medal made for the campaign, but “Bomber” Harris stayed in the RAF until 1946, when he retired and moved to South Africa. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/27 "2005-05-18T14:33:40Z")
> [@mittu](#): > > The thing that comes through most in the American stereotype that I have seen is how ignorant they are to the rest of the world. Some Americans live up to this stereotype, when in New York my brother was asked if they had electricity in Scotland, another example would be a conversation alleged to have taken place between Dubya and Charlotte Church, when she told him she was from Wales he asked her which state it was in (i’m not 100% sure this is a true story). In Canada this is a big one. The joke is that Americans all think that once you cross the border you will need snowshoes and a big parka. There was a man-on-the-street show on TV here called something like “Ask an American” where they would ask questions that would be simple to a Canadian and then laugh at the ignorant answers they got. The idea is that if you tell an American that you don’t know who the 16th president was, they will think you’re an idiot, but if you ask them who the Prime Minister of Canada is they will say it’s Celine Dion or something. There also used to be a beer commercial where the normal, Canadian boyfriend type goes to the US office and meets his American counterpart. The American has big white Anthony Robbins teeth and a big American Dad chin and he starts right away making fun of the Canadian for saying “aboot” and starts saying things like, “How’s it goin EH? Can we get you a donut? Where’s your touque? I thought all they had up there were Lumberjacks and whores!” etc, etc, etc, laughing his head off at his own jokes until the Canadian guy loses patience and suddenly goes hockey fight on his ass. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/28 "2005-05-18T14:54:22Z")
A very old comment from WW2 , about GIs “Over sexed , over paid and over here” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/29 "2005-05-18T15:04:03Z")
> [@Rayne Man](#): > > A very old comment from WW2 , about GIs > > “Over sexed , over paid and over here” “Under sexed, under paid and under Eisenhower” - the customary retort. (Credit where credit is due.) ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/30 "2005-05-18T15:08:45Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > No he wasn’t. He was criticised for it, and he couldn’t get a special medal made for the campaign, but “Bomber” Harris stayed in the RAF until 1946, when he retired and moved to South Africa. You’re right, I was wrong. “Bomber” Harris wasn’t fired. And he apparently left on his own terms. Here’s a snippet from his military biography at > **[Air Marshal Arthur Harris - History Learning Site](https://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/world-war-two/military-commanders-of-world-war-two/air-marshal-arthur-harris/)** > > Air Marshall Arthur ‘Bomber’ Harris remains one of the most controversial military commanders of World War Two. Arthur Harris commanded Bomber Command and was a believer that the bombing of civilian targets, and as a result civilians, would shorten... \*\*For a number of years, the raid on Dresden was condemned as an unnecessary act. However, a recent publication has presented arguments that Dresden was indeed a legitimate target for the Allies and that the judgment of Harris was correct. In 1992, a statue to Harris was unveiled near Trafalgar Square in London. Within 24 hours, red paint was poured over it - such was/is the controversy the beliefs of Harris caused. \*\* But even if the report mentioned above truly vindicates Harris, the Brits’ humanity in so strenuously denouncing the bombings remains as ineffably admirable from my point of view. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/31 "2005-05-18T15:17:43Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > That book would be _Notes from a Small Island_. It makes a fine companion piece to his later book about returning to America, _I’m a Stranger Here Myself_. After those, try Beppe Severgnini’s hilarious _Ciao, America!_ for an Italian’s view of stateside life - he noticed too many things to begin to list here. Wife and I have read both Bryson books you mentioned (plus if I’m not mistaken, his opus on Italy) and still another on his walk along the Appalachian Trail. We’ve made a note to get Severgnini’s book. Thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/32 "2005-05-18T15:22:03Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > That book would be _Notes from a Small Island_. It makes a fine companion piece to his later book about returning to America, _I’m a Stranger Here Myself_. After those, try Beppe Severgnini’s hilarious _Ciao, America!_ for an Italian’s view of stateside life - he noticed too many things to begin to list here. I have read all three books and have enjoyed them. However, both Bryson and Beppe’s essays featured the occasional glaring error. Unfortunately, I can’t recall any of them off the top of my head. All I remember is at least one instance in which Beppe, illustrating a difference between English and American, got them glaringly backwards! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/33 "2005-05-18T15:26:50Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > And these were the same folks who, in WWII, endured the V-1 and V-2 Rocket attacks, the incessant bombing raids, near famine, etc. And then, when one of their own Generals instituted the terrible fire bombing of Dresden and other German cities, the Brits were so outraged, they called for that man to be fired. And he was!!! Would that be Brig. Reginald E. H. Dyer? No, wrong chap. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/34 "2005-05-18T15:30:27Z")
I’m sorry. That was too harsh. I agree with the general point on the admirability of the English. ---
**Author:** ![SlyFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@SlyFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlyFrog)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/35 "2005-05-18T15:32:58Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > You?re right, I was wrong. ?Bomber? Harris wasn?t fired. And he apparently left on his own terms. WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! Attention Straight Dope customers, we have a reasonable and honest person in the “Cheap jokes about Americans” thread. Said person has admitted error in a statement he previously made. This type of person and statement does not appear often customers, so view it while you can. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/36 "2005-05-18T15:38:58Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > There’s a thread right here in SDMB on English football (aka Soccer), the posters of which are mostly Britishers, I think, and they’re just as bad, just as provincial, just as xenophobic and supremely opinionated as we Americans are portrayed…In it, they complain of the outsiders who’ve been imported to the Premiership League - the shit Irish, shit Italians, shit French, and so on. Thing is, football is so full of hatred, you have to have some variety. Shit fat bastard, shit Geordie, anything. It’s nothing particular about nationality (except when the Italians start diving…) > [@](#): > > You get the impression that they regard all Americans are assholes, and they have this big, big thing about American hair, whatever the f— that is. A lot of that in the football thread was **owlstretchingtime** letting off steam before finally leaving the boards. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/37 "2005-05-18T15:47:19Z")
> [@Mk VII](#): > > When Lake Havasu City, AZ bought the old London Bridge in the 1960s legend has it that they thought they were getting the one with the two towers that goes up and down in the middle. It’s the sort of thing we’d like to believe. Well, originally we bought the Venus DiMilo but we returned it when we saw that the arms were broken off. babaBoom. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/38 "2005-05-18T15:51:02Z")
America… Land of the HUGE portions! ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/39 "2005-05-18T16:05:14Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > In Canada this is a big one. The joke is that Americans all think that once you cross the border you will need snowshoes and a big parka. Hey! Everything I know about Canada, eh?, I learned from Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas, eh? So take off, eh? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342/40 "2005-05-18T16:05:23Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > who the Prime Minister of Canada is… It used to be so much easier, all I had to do was remind myself of the word \*\*cretin \*\*and voila! 😃 I am not American. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheap-jokes-about-americans/304342.md?page=3)