# Check-in for All Female Newbies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189 "2000-06-22T14:51:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/241 "2000-06-24T19:08:04Z")
Freak: Think Zeus without the beard, or Mars without the shield. Or go to my homepage and imagine my upper body 50 percent bigger than it is in that pic. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/242 "2000-06-24T19:11:10Z")
Ahem. I’d like to stress once again that I _was_ just kidding. No need to get all touchy. In fact I’d much prefer if you didn’t. Once again: **JUST KIDDING**!!! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/243 "2000-06-24T19:15:15Z")
Dude, I know. I was just yanking yer chain - er, joking back at you. I don’t want to be touchy-feely with you any more than you do with me. That’s why we have ladies here 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/244 "2000-06-24T19:18:23Z")
Speaking of which, where the hell did the ladies go!? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/245 "2000-06-24T19:48:12Z")
They’re lining up outside my house. Something about a muscle-bound man and strong hands and not charging for physical exams . . . go figure, right - er, be back later. Don’t hold my calls. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/246 "2000-06-24T20:59:29Z")
Freak, we’ve all fainted from you and pun describing what you can do with your tongues. _swoons_ ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/247 "2000-06-24T21:04:02Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/248 "2000-06-25T02:37:50Z")
Michi said: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Pruny is not an attractive look for me. > \*\* Hmpf. _Anything_ is attractive on you, and nothing is even better. And guys, y’know what? Once we post these exam pictures on the net I bet we clear even more than we did with the Nubile Newbie Nymphette '99 series. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/249 "2000-06-25T02:46:52Z")
“Freak, we’ve all fainted from you and pun describing what you can do with your tongues. _swoons_” Yes, unlike Little Jack Horner, I’ve never needed my thumb. So how 'bout those Mets? ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/250 "2000-06-25T04:01:04Z")
awww. come on southernstyle, i need both ears cooled down. i know you guys can do fun stuff with your tongue. hmm…i have choices now do i? well maybe i can be examined by southernstyle now and iampunha when he is done with tasha. im sure ssskuggiii wouldt mind being “examined” by steve, would she? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/251 "2000-06-25T05:09:47Z")
Hey guys I’m back … thanks for all the fighting, I guess you’re both all “worked up” and ready for the exam. Good to know! And I second Falcon, we are all fainting from you describing your talented tongues. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/252 "2000-06-25T05:33:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Um, I guess that makes you my examiner, Southern Style… > > Oh, uh, Trouble – there’s a huge difference between being examined by SouthernStyle and being examined _Southern Style_. Or would you care to try for the perfecta? > > \*\* Well, since Southern Style is what I’m used to, I’m willing to try something different, SouthernStyle…what did you have in mind? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/253 "2000-06-25T05:46:31Z")
And that was just from describing it… Hey! I’m getting pretty good at this innuendo stuff! ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/254 "2000-06-25T06:37:24Z")
This time, I’m back, with both feet on the ground. Speaking of talented tongues, I can tie a cherry stem with mine. I think it may be a medical disorder. Can any of you boys…er…doctors, help me out? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/255 "2000-06-25T10:21:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Once we post these exam pictures on the net I bet we clear even more than we did with the Nubile Newbie Nymphette '99 series. > \*\* Goddamn it, Rysdad, you’ve been here for over 1000 posts and you need to be told when you make a citation, post a link?! Sheesh! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/256 "2000-06-25T12:48:17Z")
Hypergirl, you and Brunetter can keep eachother busy - er, company, while I tend to poor shy wallflower Tasha. Laura, I assume you know what to do to Hypergirl to prepare her for my thorough “bodily cleansing.” BTW, I am on crutches today due to having injured my ankle yesterday. Luckily I don’t use my feet for much besides walking. Good thing I didn’t hurt my tongue. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/257 "2000-06-25T16:53:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > BTW, I am on crutches today due to having injured my ankle yesterday. Luckily I don’t use my feet for much besides walking. Good thing I didn’t hurt my tongue. > \*\* Poor guy. It is a very good thing you didn’t hurt your tongue though. Those crutches might come in handy[ykwim]. ---
**Author:** ![DarbyV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@DarbyV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarbyV)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/258 "2000-06-25T18:38:22Z")
Newbie here! First post, thought this exam would be appropriate. Granted I havn’t read the entire thread but I will lay here and try to relax. I did want to mention, if you could please be getle with my chest, I am lactating. Coffee anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/259 "2000-06-25T19:05:13Z")
Welcome DarbyV! DOn’t worry if the hormones are running high in this room… it’s perfectly normal 🙂 We’re real hor- er… FRIENDLY people, yes, friendly, that’s what I meant… FRIENDLY 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/260 "2000-06-27T17:44:26Z")
I cannot believe the immaturity, pun-making, innuendo and hyperbole being displayed in this thread. It stuns me that in this modern day and age, supposedly mature men and women are prostrating themselves before each other in this sickening display of virtual meat. I cannot and will not be party to this kind of childish shenanigans. I am taking my rabbit-fur-lined handcuffs, suede cat-o-nine-tails, ceiling swing, astro-glide, joy jelly, blindfold, ankle-manacles and strap-on and going HOME. Besides which, I thought this was for female newbies. We can’t get a leg up OR a word in edgewise without being shoved out of the way by jaded, world-weary bimbettes with 500+ posts coming in to steal our fire. I protest, sir; I protest! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=14)