# Check-in for All Female Newbies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189 "2000-06-22T14:51:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/61 "2000-06-22T17:48:45Z")
I think I may need another exam. I know I didn’t get my fair share of baby oil last time and I’ve always wanted to try a mechanical bull. Since BratMan appears to be busy, how about one of the assistants? Mully? dook? Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/62 "2000-06-22T17:49:01Z")
**CrankyAsAnOldMan** - living up to your name, I see. I said you passed your exam about 35 posts ago. Or do you want another one? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/63 "2000-06-22T17:49:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I’m surprised nobody’s brought in a trampoline… > \*\* Well that ain’t exactly the kind of shit you just carry around in the back of your truck, unlike my mechanical bull. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/64 "2000-06-22T17:51:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I think I may need another exam. I know I didn’t get my fair share of baby oil last time and I’ve always wanted to try a mechanical bull. > > Since BratMan appears to be busy, how about one of the assistants? Mully? dook? > > Chrisbar > \*\* Allrighty. We’re going to oil up the bull a bit and oil up the mat around it. You see how long you can hold on. If you fall off, I’m going to tie you down to the machine 🙂 \<-pretends to be a mechanical bull. Ok, now get on… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/65 "2000-06-22T17:55:48Z")
**CHRISBAR** My new favorite poster, using something I said for her sig line. (Of course that little smart ass comment at the end kinda hurts my feelings; I’m very sensitive. :: sniffle :: ) ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/66 "2000-06-22T17:57:05Z")
I’m taking bets on how long chrisbar can hold on. I say 12 seconds max. Don’t disappoint me chrisbar!! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/67 "2000-06-22T18:00:17Z")
Oh…okay, now I get it. YOU’RE the bull. Yes, that does sound like the Midwest after all. I hope I’m not getting too personal here when I say you look really hot with those sturrups on. And I mean that. Not everybody can pull that look off. Now all we need is some chocolate syrup… ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/68 "2000-06-22T18:03:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Oh…okay, now I get it. YOU’RE the bull. Yes, that does sound like the Midwest after all. I hope I’m not getting too personal here when I say you look really hot with those sturrups on. > And I mean that. Not everybody can pull that look off. > Now all we need is some chocolate syrup… > \*\* Thanks man, but all I wanna know is what happened to the DAMNED JUMPER CABLES? _looks down_ oh wait. Nevermind. Ok, now who wants their nipples peirced? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/69 "2000-06-22T18:05:03Z")
If the "bull’ is oiled & we’re oiled, what are we supposed to hang on to? (please feel free to submit any & all suggestions) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/70 "2000-06-22T18:05:38Z")
That’s it. All female newbies who want a slightly more tender hand line up over in my part of the room. I’ll bring the sheepskin nighties, 350 gallons of partially set Jello, a disco ball, Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits CD, and a package of kazoos. Trust me, Buckminster Fuller did something like this years ago. It advanced string theory greatly. ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/71 "2000-06-22T18:06:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > If the "bull’ is oiled & we’re oiled, what are we supposed to hang on to? (please feel free to submit any & all suggestions) 😉 > \*\* That’s what the jumper cables are here for. sheesh, don’t you women ever listen? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/72 "2000-06-22T18:06:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Allrighty. We’re going to oil up the bull a bit and oil up the mat around it. You see how long you can hold on. If you fall off, I’m going to tie you down to the machine 🙂 > > \<-pretends to be a mechanical bull. > > Ok, now get on… > \*\* Um, ok, but what do I hold on to? The only handle I see is this… Whoops!! Way too much baby oil. I can’t get a grip on anything. Guess I’ll have to pass on the bull ride and get back in line for my exam instead. BratMan: sorry if I hurt your feelings ☹ How about we turn off the cameras, shoo out the assistants and I’ll show you a trick, hmm? 😉 Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/73 "2000-06-22T18:06:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > If the "bull’ is oiled & we’re oiled, what are we supposed to hang on to? (please feel free to submit any & all suggestions) 😉 > \*\* I suggest 2 of you ride at the same time and hold onto each other. ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/74 "2000-06-22T18:06:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > If the "bull’ is oiled & we’re oiled, what are we supposed to hang on to? (please feel free to submit any & all suggestions) 😉 > \*\* Dignity comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/75 "2000-06-22T18:08:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Dignity comes to mind. > \*\* Don’t you think it’s a little late for that? ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/76 "2000-06-22T18:10:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > Um, ok, but what do I hold on to? The only handle I see is this… Whoops!! Way too much baby oil. I can’t get a grip on anything. > Chrisbar > \*\* Yeah I have that problem too. Your hands are kind of small, try using _ **both** _ hands. 🙂 Yeah… yeah, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/77 "2000-06-22T18:10:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > Dignity comes to mind. > > \*\* > > Don’t you think it’s a little late for that? > \*\* Who said you can’t be naked and dignified? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/78 "2000-06-22T18:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > BratMan: sorry if I hurt your feelings ☹ > How about we turn off the cameras, shoo out the assistants and I’ll show you a trick, hmm? 😉 > \*\* You are a saucy little flirt. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/79 "2000-06-22T18:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > You are a saucy little flirt. 😉 > \*\* Don’t I know it. 😉 Good thing my SO doesn’t lurk here. :o Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/80 "2000-06-22T18:16:16Z")
Good thing it’s carpeted in here or we’d all be writhing around on the floor due to the baby oil…\ Anybody know if we can roll up this carpet? dook, I just gotta say that that is the biggest saddle horn I’ve ever seen. But isn’t it supposed to be on top? Brat-So which one do you like best? The African or the European? I think the African is a little bigger than the European. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=5)