# Check-in for All Female Newbies

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189 "2000-06-22T14:51:20Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/101 "2000-06-22T18:56:03Z")

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please let this be reply# 100, this is my first thread to make it to 100!

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**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/102 "2000-06-22T18:56:16Z")

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Twister!!  
Who wants to join me for a game?  
With all this baby oil around this could be _really_ interesting. 😉

Merlot, if you’re nervous we’ll let you control the spinner instead.

Chrisbar

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**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/103 "2000-06-22T18:59:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> That’s why I’m here.
> 
> I’ve been at work since 3:45 this morning, and I’ll be here till 4:15 this afternoon. It’s been like this all week. I’ve only had about 4hrs sleep an average a night. I’m just trying not to fall asleep over here.  
> \*\*

Ugh. And I thought my 10hr days were getting rough. I hope you’re making some killer overtime for this.

Why don’t you join us for a game of Twister to wake up a little?

Chrisbar

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/104 "2000-06-22T19:00:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> \<Come on! Your father? There’s a whole generation of medical knowledge missing there. Since my sister is a nurse, my info is from this generation and therefore more up to date, so I am still the best qualified to examine these fine ladies.  
> I also watch ER a lot, and have seen Chicago Hope a couple times."
> 
> Dude, the guy just took a refresher course to get his state certification back. I also have a cousin who’s a doctor and I watch MASH basically whenever it’s on. And I watch those other hospital shows somewhat frequently.  
> \*\*

Geez, take it all serious why don’t ya!

As long as your taking me seriously, Nicole Kidman plans out dumping “that Tom dork” as she calls him to move in with me, I’ve just discovered the secret to cold fusion, and I’m so well hung my nickname is “HorseCock Johnson”

I **DARE** you to take one word of _that_ seriously!

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**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/105 "2000-06-22T19:02:06Z")

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Brat,

What the hell happened?

I turned my back for 2 minutes to do some work (the boss is funny that way) and all hell breaks loose. What can I do to help straighten all this out?

Oh yeah, Athena. There’s no need for you to comment about me turning my back and my boss being funny. I was wearing full body armor at the time.  
SouthernStyle

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**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/106 "2000-06-22T19:02:30Z")

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‘HorseCock Johnson’? Wasn’t there a character in “Blazing Saddles” with that name?

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**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/107 "2000-06-22T19:05:02Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> please let this be reply# 100, this is my first thread to make it to 100!  
> \*\*

Wow, I just noticed! I’m over 100 posts! Yea, I’m no longer a newbie! Uh, does that mean I can’t be in this thread anymore? I hope not. I’m having too much fun! 😉

Chrisbar

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**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/108 "2000-06-22T19:08:10Z")

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It means that your default physician is no longer **BratMan007**. Instead you’re in the capable hands of **SouthernStyle**.

And my hands are extremely choosey about their clientelle.

SouthernStyle

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/109 "2000-06-22T19:11:10Z")

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Style…  
Does this mean you only take newbie’s boobies?

\<Hangs head\> I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist it.  
(Nice hands, BTW)

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**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/110 "2000-06-22T19:14:40Z")

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I’ll take the A’s and B’s, Southern… you can have the C’s and D’s…

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/111 "2000-06-22T19:15:34Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> I turned my back for 2 minutes to do some work (the boss is funny that way)  
> \*\*

heh heh heh - You’re supposed to _kiss_ ass to get a promotion, Style, not give him a piece of it.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/112 "2000-06-22T19:15:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> It means that your default physician is no longer **BratMan007**. Instead you’re in the capable hands of **SouthernStyle**.
> 
> And my hands are extremely choosey about their clientelle.
> 
> SouthernStyle
> 
> \*\*

I don’t know about that one, SS.  
According to your profile we both live in the same town.  
That’s practically kissin’ cousins here on the board. 😉

Chrisbar

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/113 "2000-06-22T19:16:06Z")

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Newbie’s boobies are more Bratman’s domain. I’m more the “full service” type.

Sorry Brat.  
(Sure is a lot of apologizing going on.)

SouthernStyle

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/114 "2000-06-22T19:23:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Newbie’s boobies are more Bratman’s domain. I’m more the “full service” type.  
> \*\*

Just boobies, huh? I have other talents you know.

:: BratMan looks at the women in the room and licks his eyebrow ::

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/115 "2000-06-22T19:25:34Z")

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“Full service?” Gives new meaning to the term ‘lube job.’

Do you do rear end alignment, too?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/116 "2000-06-22T19:30:08Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> “Full service?” Gives new meaning to the term ‘lube job.’
> 
> Do you do rear end alignment, too?  
> \*\*

I don’t know about him, but I do. And for free, too.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/117 "2000-06-22T19:30:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Just boobies, huh? I have other talents you know.
> 
> :: BratMan looks at the women in the room and licks his eyebrow ::  
> \*\*

_:swoon:_

Chrisbar

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/118 "2000-06-22T19:30:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Brat,
> 
> What the hell happened?
> 
> I turned my back for 2 minutes to do some work (the boss is funny that way) and all hell breaks loose. What can I do to help straighten all this out?
> 
> Oh yeah, Athena. There’s no need for you to comment about me turning my back and my boss being funny. I was wearing full body armor at the time.  
> SouthernStyle  
> \*\*

I think you’re a little defensive there, southernstyle. I dunno, you mention turning your back, a “funny” boss, and then ask about how to “straighten” things out. I think you’re hiding something. Yup. Right there, behind your back. What is that, SouthernStyle? A magazine? Oh, it’s a copy of “Martha Stewart’s Living.” Just how do you explain that and the baby oil, pray tell?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/119 "2000-06-22T19:31:22Z")

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:: Ultress slanters into the room ::

I understand this is where you guys are giving the free “exams” to newbies? I’m not a newbie, and I’m up for an exam.

:: Looks around ::

I don’t think I see anyone who could handle an ‘exam’ with me. Besides, I’d have to kill you afterwards.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/120 "2000-06-22T19:38:13Z")

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my my my… this room has gotten much more nteresting since the last time I was here…

maybe this time I’ll stick around long enough to be examined. 😃

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