# Check-in for All Female Newbies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189 "2000-06-22T14:51:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/141 "2000-06-22T20:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > It’s OK Chris. My wife knows me too well, too. I just wish that I could convert her into a doper. (Maybe we need a new term?) > \*\* I’ve tried to convert my husband into a doper, too. After this thread, though, I’m glad he isn’t. 😉 Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/142 "2000-06-22T20:32:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > At your service ma’am. You need to clean yourself, you say? Would you prefer a sponge bath or a tongue bath? > > Oooo, choices! joy! 🙂 I think a little of both would be best seeing how some areas require different treatment than others. 😉 > \*\* Palmyra, step right into this room over here . . . Well excuse me, Southern, dook, Mully, I have a patient who needs my immediate attention. I don’t expect to return any time soon, so carry on without me. This is going to take a loooong time for me to do it properly. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/143 "2000-06-22T20:34:27Z")
::wonders what happen to the bull rides:: ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/144 "2000-06-22T20:34:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > - > > > > I am (stationed) in San Antonio. For 156 more days. Then I go back home to Missouri… > > \* > > Are you shittin me dook? > > I was stationed at Brooks AFB and am from (and currently live in) St Louis. > > \*\* Dude, we’ve discussed this 😛 Er you asked me and I replied to it in stupid things you did when you were young… ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/145 "2000-06-22T20:35:21Z")
\ Okay,dook. Teach. We are fighting ignorance. This might be an all-out battle against it. Choose your weapon… ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/146 "2000-06-22T20:36:58Z")
Check-in for **All Female** Newbies What if they’re only partly female? ---
**Author:** ![Lauralee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lauralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lauralee)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/147 "2000-06-22T20:37:05Z")
While slightly frightened to get back into this thread… > [@](#): > > I am (stationed) in San Antonio. For 156 more days. Then I go back home to Missouri, where I am wanted and loved by all the most desperate of ladies. > > -dook Cool… I’m about 45 minutes north of San Antonio. ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/148 "2000-06-22T20:39:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Check-in for **All Female** Newbies > > What if they’re only partly female? > \*\* Partial Exams ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/149 "2000-06-22T20:42:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Palmyra, step right into this room over here . . . > > Well excuse me, Southern, dook, Mully, I have a patient who needs my immediate attention. I don’t expect to return any time soon, so carry on without me. This is going to take a loooong time for me to do it properly. 🆒 > \*\* I’m ready- hey! there’s no lock on this door! I guess that’s alright, I’m all for demonstrating proper \ technique for the room. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/150 "2000-06-22T20:42:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Cool… I’m about 45 minutes north of San Antonio. > \*\* _ponder_… hmmm. Johnson City? San Marcos? Ouch. my head hurts. Gotta stop thinking so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Lauralee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lauralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lauralee)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/151 "2000-06-22T20:45:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _ponder_… hmmm. Johnson City? San Marcos? > Ouch. my head hurts. Gotta stop thinking so hard. Nah, Kerrville. Go west on I10. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/152 "2000-06-22T20:46:53Z")
dook, Maybe Brat should post to the thread “forgotten things I posted when I was young” ::snicker:: Does this invalidate his license to perform these exams? SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/153 "2000-06-22T20:47:14Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > Cool… I’m about 45 minutes north of San Antonio. \*\* Dook, I asked b/c I’m in Dallas, where athletes and the’r groupies almost outnumber the squirrels… ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/154 "2000-06-22T20:52:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Nah, Kerrville. Go west on I10. > \*\* Ahhhh, yer a Kerrvert 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/155 "2000-06-22T20:55:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Sorry Southern Asses? > > When I return Brat’s let things go all to hell and by the time we get things ALMOST turned around I get insulted by one of the sweetest, kindest, sexiest creatures that was ever put on this earth. > > \*\* Well, that’s nice of you to say, SouthernStyle. I didn’t mean to insult you personally, it’s just that I truly feel sorry for all you poor people who have to live down there in the heat & kudzu. 'sides, how do YOU know what I’m like?!? ---
**Author:** ![Lauralee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lauralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lauralee)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/156 "2000-06-22T20:56:46Z")
Yeah, but I’m neither retired or blue-haired. Not that there’s anything wrong with either condition… Kervert?? Don’t think I’ve heard that before… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/157 "2000-06-22T21:08:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > dook, > > Maybe Brat should post to the thread “forgotten things I posted when I was young” > \*\* Go back earlier in this post and read how long I’ve been at work today. I admit I’m not at my mental best. ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/158 "2000-06-22T21:12:53Z")
\ “No…don’t use the _sponge_ there…” “mmphm mpghpmmf!” “I’m almost clean! I’m almost clean!” ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/159 "2000-06-22T22:41:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, that’s nice of you to say, SouthernStyle. I didn’t mean to insult you personally, it’s just that I truly feel sorry for all you poor people who have to live down there in the heat & kudzu. > > 'sides, how do YOU know what I’m like?!? I read your posts. 😉 (Besides, around this joint butterin’ up pays the best dividends.) The south aint really all that bad. Why it only hit 96 yestiday and by 10:30 las nite we was back down to 88. Besides, I learned my lesson years ago. My folks were both born and raised in small farm towns in western Minnesota. Sometime around my 12th birthday we were visiting family up that way when I learn why the mosquito is the state bird. I was playing in the yard with my kid brother and a cousin when about a dozen of the biggest darned mosquitos that I’d ever seen started circling overhead. Pretty soon they started buzzing us, and before long it seemed like they were actually herding us into the corner. Then it got really weird. I swear I heard one of those mosquitos looked at my cousin and asked the mosquito next to him if they should “eat this one here or carry it home for dinner”. And you feel sorry for us southerners… 😉 Now where did that examining room get off to??? SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189/160 "2000-06-23T00:08:19Z")
wooohooo now Mully if you gonna do my ‘exam’ we’ll need a private examination room. Enter at your own risk! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-female-newbies/23189.md?page=9)