# Check-in for All male Newbies.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235 "2000-06-22T20:19:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/1 "2000-06-22T20:19:01Z")
In deference to all the lovely ladies of the board, and in the interests of equal time, I have set up this exam room for the inspection of all male newbies, and the 3000 mile checkup of all male regulars. Those who pass inspection may view the proceedings in the exam room next door through this cunningly hidden peephole. Please line up along the far wall, and Dr. Eve and her assistant Falcon will be along presently. Meanwhile, I’ll just be, uh, next door… ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/2 "2000-06-22T20:21:55Z")
Not a newby, but anxious for any sort of, um, er, inspection (hee hee, that rhymes with…) ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/3 "2000-06-22T20:23:33Z")
;j 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/4 "2000-06-22T20:25:09Z")
VB, never mind the lovely Eve and Falcon, they have been detained. Car problems you know. ::hides ice pick that was used to puncture tires:: Ayesha is here. Gentlemen step right up, here is an exam gown, yes I know the back is open. (whiners) ::snaps on gloves:: Now, get ready to take a deep breath , turn your head and cough. The internal part of the exam is next, you will love it. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/5 "2000-06-22T20:29:10Z")
Well, I could always do with a check up. :cough: :cough: ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/6 "2000-06-22T20:31:58Z")
“Oh Ayesha you _minx!_” ::VB unzips his flight suit and strips it off:: “Where do you want me to hang this?” ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/7 "2000-06-22T20:37:12Z")
Ayesha, I was going to offer my services as an assisstant (after all I learned a lot about exams at the other thread 😉 ) but as I’m about to leave work for the day, I won’t be able to help long. I did steal the last of the baby oil for you though. 😉 Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/8 "2000-06-22T20:38:28Z")
\ Looks like you might be needing this, Ayesha. My, my, have you got your hands full. struuter ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/9 "2000-06-22T20:40:08Z")
Just in case you women are serious, I’m ::heading for the exit:: SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/10 "2000-06-22T20:41:14Z")
Wow Chris, thanks, I can use a hand with these guys ! Here you can oil this up for me. No it’s not a batton, it only looks like. VB since this was your idea, come here and bend over the table. Face down silly. Chris, now hand me that thing. Bwahahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/11 "2000-06-22T20:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Just in case you women are serious, I’m > ::heading for the exit:: > > SouthernStyle > > \*\* LOL! **Chicken!** You can give it but you can’t take it, Style? 😃 Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/12 "2000-06-22T20:44:06Z")
Hmmm. . .before I submit to this blantant attempt to see men disrobe, I need to see some qualifications. How about it docs? ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/13 "2000-06-22T20:48:06Z")
Ohh, not again. Not exactly a newbie, but… oh well. _ZZZZZIIIIIPPPPPP!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/14 "2000-06-22T20:49:33Z")
Is thread going to deteriorate into a mess of debauchery like the other one? Its not? Damn! ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/15 "2000-06-22T20:49:59Z")
male newbie reporting for my inspection. all I ask is that you warm your hands first. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/16 "2000-06-22T20:50:52Z")
Can I be the giggly waiting room attendant? ::teehee:: Why Dr. Ayesha is QUITE qualified for this line of work, winky. Would you care to see her binder of letter of recommendations? ::THUD:: As you can see, she has quite a bit of ::teehee:: experiance in this field. ::teehee:: ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/17 "2000-06-22T20:51:49Z")
Amateurs. First of all, I’ll be watching this thread with _great_ interest. Secondly, ain’t no girl examining me - I gots me a Doctor Boyfriend for that. And third, I’m sure you’ll need an assistant, or dental hygienist, or somethingorother, so I hereby volunteer. {heh heh heh} C’mere, lads - I got work to do! 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/18 "2000-06-22T20:52:35Z")
male newbie reporting for my inspection. all I ask is that you warm your hands first. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/19 "2000-06-22T20:54:03Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > Just in case you women are serious, I’m > ::heading for the exit:: > > SouthernStyle > > * * * > > LOL! > > Chicken! You can give it but you can’t take it, Style? > > Chrisbar Check my rap sheet. I was _bred_ to give it! I just need to find the female newbie that’s dumb enough … I mean meant to take it. SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/20 "2000-06-22T20:54:10Z")
I guess that will have to do. Look I can make a teepee with my gown. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235.md?page=2)