# Check-in for All male Newbies.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235 "2000-06-22T20:19:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/61 "2000-06-23T00:58:39Z")
::runs to exit and props doors open:: Quick, men, run while you can . . . if you want. Some of you seem to be enjoying yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/62 "2000-06-23T01:08:42Z")
I was told at the front desk that i needed to provide a sperm sample…this copy of Animal Husbandry Monthly will definately NOT be doing the trick ladies… dave ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/63 "2000-06-23T01:21:08Z")
Sperm sample? Hell, I can do that. ::sits down and starts drawing a picture of a sperm:: And yes, that IS life-size. For me, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/64 "2000-06-23T01:32:00Z")
Step aside ladies, let someone with a REAL medical background (I’m a veterinary nurse) have a look at these men. ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/65 "2000-06-23T01:39:46Z")
Who’s the wise guy who bricked up the door? I have to get out… to… get… flowers… for the… doctor. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/66 "2000-06-23T02:13:26Z")
Hmm…typical medical office. Had a number. I’m still waiting, naked. Still no takers? Sheesh, what’s a guy to do? Shall I beg? grovel? plead? Ehhh…I’ll just stand here, holding the wall up for you. -Sam 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/67 "2000-06-23T02:27:49Z")
Well, GaWd, VB seems to have left me, so would you like to come back here? ---
**Author:** ![Conteacher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Conteacher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Conteacher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/68 "2000-06-23T02:34:36Z")
Are you checking “all male” newbies as in “every”, or are you only interested in “all male” as in "testosterone overdosed’? And, can we at least wear a robe that covers all? ---
**Author:** ![Sofis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Sofis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofis)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/69 "2000-06-23T02:40:13Z")
No one wants to play with me…☹ [thinks to self]Hey! Maybe this is like when I was a kid and the girls would try to kiss the boys, and the boys would try to run away. I wasn’t afraid of the girls kissing me… so they stopped trying to! Maybe…[/thinks to self] _clears throat_ I’m leaving. :walks purposefully towards the door: ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/70 "2000-06-23T02:42:49Z")
Since you seem to be so unencumbered now, I think I can occupy your time 😃 You like nice, verile, young bucks??? Hope so… -Sam ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/71 "2000-06-23T04:35:41Z")
Just lil ol’ me over here . . . all alone . . . no box to chew on (NPI; it’s a family saying and not sex-related) . . . nobody loves me . . . And I can’t even have psychic orgasms . . . ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/72 "2000-06-23T04:43:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Just lil ol’ me over here . . . all alone . . . no box to chew on (NPI; it’s a family saying and not sex-related) . . . nobody loves me . . . > > And I can’t even have psychic orgasms . . . > \*\* Step aside, ladies. This one’s my patient. But first we have to get you out of that robe for an oral fixati-- oops, i meant exam. Come in here :: Walks toward a small room with a large examining table inside:: ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/73 "2000-06-23T06:06:39Z")
Sofis, get back here, you’re next. Now bend over. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@Mr\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Bear)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/74 "2000-06-23T10:32:41Z")
Stopping by as requested. Seems we have some unqualifed people here trying to do perform medical examinations. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Step aside ladies, let someone with a REAL medical background (I’m a veterinary nurse) have a look at these men. > \*\* Well I have a REAL medical background and it’s not with **animals.** So anybody who wants to examine this old hand, should be prepared to recive a **thorough examination** from a true professional in return(of course it would be completly complimentray)😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/75 "2000-06-23T10:37:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Well I have a REAL medical background and it’s not with **animals.** So anybody who wants to examine this old hand, should be prepared to recive a **thorough examination** from a true professional in return(of course it would be completly complimentray)😃 😃 > \*\* DAMN! I knew it wouldn’t be too longer before a **REAL** medical professional showed up! There’s goes my fake practice! That’s ok, I guess. I don’t think anyone actually believed that hand-drawn graduation certificate from Harvard on my wall anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t have used crayons. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@Mr\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Bear)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/76 "2000-06-23T11:20:43Z")
Hey Brattman I am currently a medical instructor, interested in taking some classes, I do belive in a hands **on** approach to teaching. Let me warn you, medicine is a difficult subject to learn. You will need lots of time for practice;) ---
**Author:** ![Sevy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/db5fbb/32.png) [@Sevy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/77 "2000-06-23T11:47:58Z")
and here I thought I looked silly ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/78 "2000-06-23T11:54:42Z")
Hey Brat, I’m trying to figure out why Ayesha was working so late. Do you think that she was that involved in her patients… I mean work? Or just a committed… I mean dedicated servant? SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![CreaseMunky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@CreaseMunky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CreaseMunky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/79 "2000-06-23T11:55:30Z")
Male newbie reporting as ordered. But I’m making an appointment for Fri afternoon at 4 (Central Time, BTW). Now is just, uhhhhh, not a good time. I hope someone will be available to see me then. Guess it don’t matter what I wear since I won’t be wearing it long… errr, since I’ll be wearing it for a short period of time. ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/80 "2000-06-23T11:55:31Z")
Hey BratMan. Is it time for your exam? All out doctors seem to be busy at the moment so I’ll be the one carrying out the “examination”. Chrisbar [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235.md?page=5)