# Check-in for All male Newbies.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235 "2000-06-22T20:19:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/161 "2000-06-25T19:33:12Z")
Sua: Your primitive technology makes me laugh. How would that suit hold up if you went into hyper-drive? I only stole it so I could find out how puny your understanding of space really is. When the invasion comes, NASA will be the first to go. Right before Britney Speares. She pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/162 "2000-06-25T19:43:37Z")
Freak, a question Why the undying hatred between muffins and squirrels? Race hatred? Bitter wars in earlier eons? I must know. V. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/163 "2000-06-25T20:09:05Z")
Sua, It’s a muffin thing. You wouldn’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/164 "2000-06-25T21:42:22Z")
Some females have been boasting about being able to carry six packs in their cleavage. Well, just LOOK at how many donuts I can hold on my . . . “finger!” BTW, all you females, there is a very easy way to warm up your hands. Think for a bit . . . ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/165 "2000-06-25T22:32:39Z")
_smiles_ Oh hon…that’s an impressive “finger.” Can I examine it for you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/166 "2000-06-25T23:36:21Z")
Falcon, you bet. Just don’t touch it TOO much or it’ll start doing weird tricks. And I’m not talking about neat party tricks. I mean actual weird tricks. Things most fingers don’t do. And what are you doing trying to eat those donuts right off my finger? ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/167 "2000-06-26T06:00:59Z")
ok… um… I’m just here to check the air-conditioning… really… there’s no need for an examination. I don’t want to put anybody to any trouble. Gee, that speculum looks cold. yeeep Dewt p.s. Someone left a space suit in the lobby. I nearly tripped over it and killed myself. Seems to me that if you have one of those, you’ll probably need it. You may want to go pick it up before it gets a hole in it or something. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/168 "2000-06-26T06:05:55Z")
Well, I’m not sure if I still count as a newbie or not but just in case I’m tentatively here to get ‘checked.’ Exactly what does this procedure involve? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235/169 "2000-06-26T23:16:54Z")
Newbie reporting as ordered. \ Here’s my medical profile…Oops! \ Psychological tendencies toward adventurousness, despite some indications of latent baton trauma…Unusual stamina, manual, and oral dexterity…Definite symptoms of satyriasis…\ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-in-for-all-male-newbies/23235.md?page=8)