# Check out this creepy letter I got from the Republican National Committee **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 8, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761 "2003-12-08T20:41:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/21 "2003-12-09T02:17:04Z")
**GMRyujin** , in his beautiful satire of the vast majority of fundraising letters ever written, has hit this one on the nose. From the thread title, I was expecting something much creepier. This fundraising letter really looked like every other one, down to the one-sentence paragraphs. I’m happy to bash the GOP, given a good reason. This ain’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/22 "2003-12-09T02:29:31Z")
What was creepiest to me was that I received it. If they’re all designed to trick you into donating money with strange underlining, guilt tripping and jibes about “quitting”, then that’s news to me. I’d never read one before from any Party. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/23 "2003-12-09T02:46:50Z")
Actually, **Dooku** ’s friends couldn’t have donated to the Republican Party on his “behalf.” You can only give to political parties in your own name, or at the least in the name of your place of business. [OpenSecrets.org](http://www.fecwatch.org/law/index.asp) has a good overview of Federal Election Commission laws on the subject. As for this letter being “like every other fundraising letter”–maybe there are letters out there like this one, but I’ve never written one that way. We’d _never_ start a letter out with a “why the hell haven’t you given us money this year?” rhetorical question. That’s just an invitation to the reader to chuck the letter in the circular file. Nah, get the reader interested in the subject first, make a big splash. If I were writing this RNC letter, I’d start out with something like (WARNING WARNING WARNING: casual readers of this post should not asssume that the author agrees with these comments) “In 2004, we stand to lose all of the gains we’ve made during the last four years.” Next paragraph. Talk about Republican policies in a bit more detail than a single sentence. Warn of what might happen if the Dems get in next year. Next paragraph. Thank Mr. Dooku for his support in the past. Talk about how “donations from grassroots donors like yourself” have enabled the Republican Party to unprecedented success. Thank Mr. Dooku for past support in slightly different language. (An old fundraising pro I admire once told me, “You can never thank a donor enough. Even if it’s for $10.”) Next paragraph. Make the pitch. Go for the hard sell, Mr. Dooku is (wrongly thought to be) a prior donor. Last paragraph: “Mr. Dooku, I thank you for your previous support of our cause. I hope that you can join us (inclusive language! It even works on conservatives) again this year in helping our President and his allies in Congress during this crucial time.” OK, not the best fundraising letter ever. But at least it’s better than the one quoted in the OP, which never thanked the donor, resorted to soundbites where real meat was needed, and didn’t rely on a P.S., another fundraising pet peeve, to say what should have been said more effectively in the main body of the letter. No, it’s not the worst thing the 'Pubbies have ever done. It just makes me wonder: How’d these guys [raise $75 million](http://www.opensecrets.org/bigpicture/donordemographics.asp?cycle=2002) during the last election cycle among “annual fund” ($200-1,000) donors during 2001-02? And beat the Dems by almost $28 million in that segment? One last thing: Yeah, mistakes happen in that “never-givers” occasionally get letters intended for SYBUNT (Some Year BUt Not this Year) donors. For an organization that raised $440 million in 2001-02, though, you’d think they’d keep their records straighter. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/24 "2003-12-09T02:49:04Z")
Argh. That first link is [OpenSecrets.org](http://www.fecwatch.org/law/index.asp). Preview, preview and preview again. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/25 "2003-12-09T03:14:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > **. . . and I have never given them one red dime in my entire life. . .** So if you’re not a Republican, what are you. . . a Communist? 😃 Tripler [singing] I’m telling McCarthy! I’m, telling McCarthy![/singing] ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/26 "2003-12-09T03:23:20Z")
Huh. Sounds like the “It’s time for you to pay your tithe!” letter I got from the local Catholic parish the other year. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/27 "2003-12-09T03:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\* > > “Dear Resident, > Can I speak with you as a friend? You need to send us money. If you don’t, evil will rule the earth. Only you can stop it. We take checks.” \*\* Hah. Like they’d ever try such a simple approach. They have to pounce on you to scare you into fighting the big invisible monster that is Democratic. Like they are Godzilla or something. I’d love to see a Democratic fund raising letter. What fun. Why don’t we just start our own political party. We have the brains. We have the motive. ( money. pie. world domination) We would be the voice of the Gay, Straight, Trans gendered, Transvestite, Trans Am, Techno-nerd, Literate, Sarcastic Crowd. We could send out fund raising letters then we could apply the funds towards a new server and a big party…you know how those political types like to have an annual convention for a mutual masterbatory marathons. We could do this too, and have it on national TV or at least, cable access. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/28 "2003-12-09T05:42:02Z")
My father-in-law got a card not too long ago thanking him for his “very generous support” of the Republican Party. It was actually signed by George and Laura (or at least a very good facsimille of a real signature.) The kicker is that he’s not even registered to vote, and he’s never given a dime to the Republicans. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/29 "2003-12-09T05:49:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lainaf \* > \*\*My grandmother died in the summer of 1983. Following the fall elections, she received a letter from the Republican party thanking her for once again voting a straight Republican ticket. > Considering her rabid support of the Republican party, I wasn’t at all sure she hadn’t come back from the dead just to vote. \*\* [Bart Simpson] The dead have risen and are voting Republican! [/Bart Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![BrandyFine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrandyFine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrandyFine)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/30 "2003-12-09T06:03:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jenaroph \* > \*\*Huh. Creepy enough, but I thought this thread was going to be about [this letter from the Michigan Republican Party.](http://www.freep.com/news/politics/greet6_20031206.htm) > \*\* Bad stuff. Of course the article also mentions Dems are doing the exact **same thing.** That’s “different” though. I don’t know how, but it just is. I can’t imagine who would do such a thing to anyone, much less people they “care about.” Politics is getting creepy. The letter in the OP was pretty much standard. I get the **exact same types of letters** (complete with mentions of nonexistent “past support”) from the Democrat party, despite never having voted that way. I never get them from parties I have actually voted for though. Go figure. If I saw a request for mailing list information I’d raise holy hell. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/31 "2003-12-09T06:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jenaroph \* > \*\*Huh. Creepy enough, but I thought this thread was going to be about [this letter from the Michigan Republican Party.](http://www.freep.com/news/politics/greet6_20031206.htm) \*\* > [@](#): > > The GOP’s “Holiday Hits 2003” list will be used to identify voters and possible volunteers for the effort to re-elect President George W. Bush and other Republicans. Is it wrong that I read that first line as “The GOP’s ‘Holiday Hit List 2003’”? ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/32 "2003-12-09T06:39:07Z")
During the tail-end Clinton years, when things got really unhinged, I got a brief burst of right-wing mail, GOP screeds about “Washington’s most unwanted” senators, solicitations for the Limbaugh Letter, etc. I tossed most of it, though I did mail Rush’s solicitation back to him post-paid. I didn’t think anything of it, I just figured the vast right-wing conspiracy had some extra cash lying around and decided to blow it on trying to sway Democratic voters. They’re just poorly written form letters, toss them and forget them. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/33 "2003-12-09T07:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > **And the whole thing is in Courier. That seems to be a conscious decision, since the part you detach and send to them has mostly TNR and a few lines in Arial. I guess they wanted me to think that Mr. Retzer typed this up himself.** What is it with Courier, anyway? I just looked at a few of my fundraising letters - and a significant majority of them are in Courier, a font I almost never see anywhere but fundraising letters. ---
**Author:** ![Galena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@Galena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Galena)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/34 "2003-12-09T07:50:16Z")
I think that received the exact same letter the OP did a little bit ago, same wording and look. I can completely agree that it was very disturbing! I don’t think he does the whole package justice when he describes it. The whole thing felt really, really sleazy, like junk mail you would get asking you to buy diet products. Seriously not what you would expect from an organization like that. I shouldn’t complain though because I was happy that they wasted at least a quarter on me! Every little bit helps! ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/35 "2003-12-09T09:17:36Z")
I seem to recall that Kenneth Galbraith used to joke about the appeals from the Republican party that he would get, owing to a computer snafu. So this is an old story. FWIW, I fished the latest DNC letter from the bin (and opened it). It didn’t seem quite as bad --there were no insinuations that I was abandoning anybody-- but it was devoid of policy. (It did have a gung ho, “all\* for one and one for all” quality to it, though.) Text available upon request. \*[sub] All Democrats that is…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![SeekingTruth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@SeekingTruth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeekingTruth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/36 "2003-12-09T11:11:08Z")
As soon as I got that letter (been a member since '91) I wrote the check that night. Guess what? Three days later I got pamphlets, in the US Mail, produced and mailed using my tax dollars, imploring me to fund Sens Dorgan and Conrad. Our esteemed (hehe) Senators from ND. And, yes, they were sent from their offices in Washington, DC. Unsolicited. If they had responded to the 4 calls/emails EACH where I inquired their votes on the pay raise, they would have known damn well my family didn’t want their pleas for more of our money. Fuck 'em ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/37 "2003-12-09T11:31:08Z")
Dear Republican Party, I did not knowingly sent any money to your cause during the last, or any other election. Since your scrupulous records indicate I’ve been a major contributor, the money must have been sent to you in error. Please refund all money donated in my name to this address. Please send money order. Thank you, Dokku Feel free to use all or part of this in your reply Dokku! ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/38 "2003-12-09T15:31:32Z")
You know, if I were a _really_ dirty pool player, I’d consider impersonating my opponent’s party and sending spurious fundraising letters to non-affiliated voters. However, the letter above doesn’t look like much of an example of that. I’d instead be talking about “crushing the bloodthirsty baby killers who want to take away our guns and spend your tax dollars on indolent minorities.” Hmmm. Come to think of it, they _did_ swing a mid-term election by falsifying a case for war with Iraq… ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/39 "2003-12-09T16:23:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Dear Mr. Dooku, > > I can see that you’ve abandoned the Republican Party, but I have to ask … Have you considered how we will respond to your betrayal of us on the very eve of our ultimate victory? > > Our records show we have not yet received your 2003 Republican National Committee (RNC) member contribution! Moreover, you have failed to turn over the names, addresses and Social Security numbers of your liberal democrat friends and associates. Unsurprising, I suppose, since you now appear to be one of them. > > As the Treasurer of the RNC, I know our Party’s success depends directly on grassroots leaders made of sterner stuff than you, Mr. Dooku. Those who run from the sound of the guns, like Max Cleland, are not worthy of membership in the Big Tent Party. > > I know how generously you have helped in the past and how instrumental your support was to our historic victories in 2000, particularly on the ground in Florida, which I can assure you we will not forget–we have the photographic records, remember? > > I know other things come up, and perhaps you’ve just been delayed in renewing your membership. If that’s the case, I remind you that delay is unacceptable when your Party needs you so desperately. > > But we’ve not heard from you this year – and I hope for your sake that you haven’t given up on the Party. After our sweeping wins in 2002 and the crucial 2004 presidential elections approaching, it’s vital we not grow complacent, and I can assure you that we will not, particularly when it comes to punishing cowardice. > > Mr. Dooku, President Bush is counting on Republican leaders like YOU to help him with the tough challenges that lie ahead. > > Your help is important. The results of the 2002 elections were extremely close. Proving again that the actions of one very well placed person can have a profound difference on the political process and your private life. > > That’s why your 2004 RNC Membership Renewal tithing is urgently needed to support President Bush and our leaders in Congress as they work to build a better future for Republicans. Remember, the RNC is the party of God, and just as God requires His ten percent tithe, so do we. In fact, if you are Catholic or Jewish you can simply redirect your ten percent tithe from your church or synagogue directly to the RNC! > > President Bush’s agenda of lower taxes for the wealthy, a closely monitored homeland, expansionist foreign policy, and a profitable solution for Social Security and Medicare is right for America… unless you’re a traitor… > > …but his positive vision still faces intense and illegal opposition in Congress from the liberal Democrats. > > With our majorities in the U.S. House, Senate, and Supreme Court razor thin, the Democrats and their homosexual liberal special interest allies will obstruct and delay every chance they can. > > We must crush the bloodthirsty baby killers who want to take away our guns and waste your tax dollars coddling indolent minorities. > > We must also ensure the men and women who will represent our Party as candidates in the 2004 Presidential elections have the early help they need to organize strong campaigns by examining the genealogy and criminal histories of their opponents and their opponents’ families. > > This is a team effort, and your continued support is important. Your betrayal will be viewed in a particularly unfavorable light. > > So if you have delayed in renewing your membership because you feel the RNC has let you down or no longer needs you, please let me know. I want to hear from you. Put it in writing, along with your current information. > > But please don’t think that you can turn your back on president Bush and our GOP leaders in Congress who are counting on your help without reprisal. We’ll be talking again soon, one way or another. > > Just include your Liberal List with the enclosed Membership Confirmation and return them with your bank account and routing number. > > Please don’t quit now! Renew your RNC membership today. For your sake. Thank you. > > Sincerely, > \ > Mike Hunt > Treasurer > > P.S. Our nation is very closely divided politically. We need the support of every Republican to provide the resources President Bush, the Republican Congress and our candidates need to destroy the liberal Democrats and fully enact our agenda. Please don’t give up now. Renew your RNC membership today. Or else. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761/40 "2003-12-09T16:43:42Z")
**Sofa King** , I admire you, but I’m also very, very scared of you now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/check-out-this-creepy-letter-i-got-from-the-republican-national-committee/217761.md?page=3)