# Cheek kiss - left or right?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 9, 2023, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537 "2023-02-09T19:20:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/1 "2023-02-09T19:20:40Z")

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In this [amusing article](https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/02/jill-biden-doug-emhoff-kiss-state-of-the-union.html) about the “scandalous” kiss between Jill Biden and Doug Emhoff (Kamala Harris’ husband) at the SOTU address, it is hypothesized that this was an attempted cheek kiss where one person went for the wrong side and they ended up meeting in the middle. Quoting from the article: “…one of them simply went in for a left-cheek kiss, when it’s standard procedure to go for the right.”

Wait, what? Standard procedure is to go for the _right_ cheek? I don’t cheek-kiss often, but if I do, I’m aiming right, or in other words on the person’s _left_ cheek. Is that what the author meant, and they just wrote this unclearly? Is this some left of the road/right of the road difference, where I’m destined to mash lips with a Brit if we attempt a cheek kiss?

So let’s vote. There is no option for “I don’t cheek kiss.” Pretend the fate of the world depends on you kissing someone on the cheek, and pretend you actually like the world and don’t want it to end.

_Poll ([view on site](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/1))_

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**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/2 "2023-02-09T19:25:05Z")

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Usually the one with the Levi’s tag on the pocket.

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/3 "2023-02-09T19:27:48Z")

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I put right but I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been a cheek kisser with SOs.

The only cheek kissing I’ve done has been with my nieces when they were little kids. And that was nearly 20 years ago.

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**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/4 "2023-02-09T19:29:01Z")

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So I’m actually an extremely experienced cheek kisser, because that’s how my husband’s family greets one another, and that requires kissing the cheeks of 50-100 people at any given event.

I drive to the left and kiss the right cheek. But more often just wait for the kiss to come to me.

I am left handed so maybe this is the Wrong Way. Now I’m paranoid.

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**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/5 "2023-02-09T19:43:17Z")

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In my middle school there was a teacher who was close friends with my grandmother. She would greet me with a hug and a cheek kiss when I would see her at school events. On at least 2 occasions we both went to the wrong side and ended up with a Biden/Emhoff smooch. You can only imagine how embarrassing it was for a 13 year old kid to be kissing a 60 year old teacher in front of his friends.

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**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/6 "2023-02-09T19:53:25Z")

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> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> I drive to the left and kiss the right cheek.

I had no idea you weren’t in the US. Weird.

Anyway, drive right, aim left for right cheek.

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**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/7 "2023-02-09T19:56:29Z")

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@Spice_Weasel is in the US, unless she moved recently. And she drives on the left? Now _I’m_ paranoid.

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**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/8 "2023-02-09T20:02:12Z")

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Hopefully she’ll tell us where and when she drives so we can avoid that area

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**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/9 "2023-02-09T20:03:00Z")

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Depends on which cheeks are we discussing.

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**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/10 "2023-02-09T20:52:14Z")

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…  
Not on the left cheek, not on the right cheek, but in the groove.

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**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/11 "2023-02-09T21:27:37Z")

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> [@TroutMan](#):
>
> And she drives on the left? Now _I’m_ paranoid.

Sorry, I thought that was figurative, as in, driving left = leaning left. I don’t have a great sense of direction, but it’s not _that_ bad.

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/12 "2023-02-09T23:09:27Z")

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In St Martin, specifically on the French side, I’ve learned to do the cheek kiss. The right cheek is what you each aim for initially. If you are better friends, you go right-left-right.

ETA: taking a break from packing, we’re going there Saturday.

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/13 "2023-02-09T23:32:20Z")

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I’ve always done left cheek in Hungary. We are defining left cheek as the cheek from the person kissed’s perspective, correct? From my perspective, I am going to the right.

Interestingly, I came across this about French cheek kissing customs. Looks like how many kisses and starting from which side varies by region:

> **[Which cheek and how many? The origins of the other French kiss](https://qz.com/1738828/the-greeting-etiquette-of-kisses-in-france-and-across-europe)**
>
> Would you kiss someone the same way in Marseilles as in Madrid? Which cheek should you present first? And how many kisses?

I kind of liked this map for “which cheek first?”

[![](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_965/6b18073119b3410a9e23a8a1975eb6b4.jpg) ](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_965/6b18073119b3410a9e23a8a1975eb6b4.jpg)

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**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/14 "2023-02-10T08:15:57Z")

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I voted wrong. I drive on the left and aim for the left, but honestly, don’t ask a Brit about this because we have not got consensus on this At All. We’ve only started cheek kissing in the last 30 years or so and my mother still moans about all the unnecessary touching.

I blame the French - our close neighbours make us feel paranoid that we’re doing it all wrong, and like to bamboozle us by throwing in an extra 3rd kiss.

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**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/15 "2023-02-10T19:37:12Z")

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Switzerland is 3 kisses, Spain, and many other countries, only has 2. It’s very confusing when only one person is going in for the 3rd kiss and the other’s already done.

Haven’t done much cheek kissing in the past three years - might have voted wrong. Have to check (and then correct, if necessary). Seems both Spain and Switzerland start on the right.

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**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/16 "2023-02-10T21:35:47Z")

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In Rio de Janeiro it is always two kisses: Left / Right (i.e. tilt my head left then right).  
That is what I am accustomed to and how I would approach such a situation. If you go for the wrong cheek in sequence, you will be lips-to-lips with someone who you probably don’t know well enough for such a kiss.

In Rio tradition, guys kiss girls, girls kiss girls, but guys don’t kiss guys. Guys will do something between a handshake and a back-slapping hug “_E aí, rapaz… tudo bem?_”.

Other regions of Brazil do it differently. A friend of mine from São Paulo told me that in her region it is three kisses: Left / Right / Left.

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**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/17 "2023-02-10T22:46:54Z")

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> [@minor7flat5](#):
>
> A friend of mine from São Paulo told me that in her region it is three kisses: Left / Right / Left.

That’s just too much work. Especially if someone has had a couple of drinks beforehand. 🙂 Who knows how that could end up.

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**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/18 "2023-02-11T01:29:51Z")

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I’d like to offer an aside for the uninitiated:

When you do a cheek kiss, you don’t actually kiss the other person‘s cheek. Rather, you touch cheeks and make a kiss.

(I once mortified a Cuban woman who was trying to great me with a cheek kiss when I actually kissed her cheek. My shame is your life lesson)

Oh, and I’d go for the right side of their face.

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**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/19 "2023-02-11T01:42:51Z")

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German, here, and I’ve always been totally confused about cheek kissing. Like in Britain, we (or rather, some of us) have only done this for about 30 years, and haven’t come to a consensus at all. First, there can be one, two or three kisses. Then, you can start at the right or at the left cheek. And finally, some people really kiss you on the cheek while others just press their cheeks together and kiss the air. I will never figure it out, and on top of that I sometimes meet international people who like to cheek-kiss and even have different standards. But usually, all works out well, at least so far nobody complained and I haven’t had an accident yet when the lips met.

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537/20 "2023-02-11T02:10:28Z")

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> [@SanVito](#):
>
> I voted wrong. ⁢

You can change your vote. Just click on the “Show Poll” button and click on the correct option. Or click on the currently selected option to remove your vote entirely.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheek-kiss-left-or-right/979537.md?page=2)
