# Cheesiest music video ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 15, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297 "2007-09-15T10:01:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/1 "2007-09-15T10:01:40Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your amusement Bonnie Tyler’s [Total Eclipse of the Heart](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55nTwg5NIPM). The literalism. The histrionics. The mixed metaphors. The slo-mo dove. The glowing-eyed flying choirboy. The random football players who appear once and are then never seen again. The pansy-assed dancers. The vague (and vain) attempt at the end to explain what the hell was going on. What were they _thinking_? It’s hilariously bad. Can anyone do worse than this? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/2 "2007-09-15T10:11:06Z")
Turn around Bright Eyes. You forgot the dancing ninjas. And the shadow fencers. And the … what, greaser zombies climbing the stairs? If there is a cheesier video I don’t want to see it. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/3 "2007-09-15T10:21:05Z")
What _is_ going on in that video? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/4 "2007-09-15T10:25:54Z")
[QUOTE=MidnightRadio] What _is_ going on in that video? [/QUOTE] Well duh, he turned around, and he had _bright eyes_. I’m surprised they didn’t do 80s-style CGI of Bonnie “falling apart” too. And some dough for “I knead you now tonight, I knead you more than ever”. So, at the end, did she kill one of the schoolboys? Was it an identity parade? Was she a teacher and boffing one of them? I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/5 "2007-09-15T10:31:10Z")
Complete hijack of my own thread, **MidnightRadio** , but did you take your name from the David Gray song? Good song, that. ---
**Author:** ![MerryMagdalen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@MerryMagdalen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MerryMagdalen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/6 "2007-09-15T11:14:14Z")
Well damn. I’m dealing with genuine heartbreak in my own life right now, and by rights this song should have had me moody this late at night… And yet all I can think about is Flying Priests with Frikkin’ Laser Eyes! It’s a good thing. I can just come home and watch this and get turned off getting laid for another week or so… ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/7 "2007-09-15T11:34:07Z")
Wow. I confess usually I see “best” or “worst” or some other “est” and I go and watch the clip in question and then I shrug and go “meh.” This time I gotta say: Wow, that was one odd vid. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/8 "2007-09-15T11:52:21Z")
I always liked “In A Big Country”. It’s like… hey, we’ve got $10000 in our shooting budget. Whatsay we just buy some ATV’s and film ourselves riding around? Cuz nothing says “cool” like a British rock band driving around on 4-wheelers. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/9 "2007-09-15T12:14:53Z")
This [Meatloaf](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GNhdQRbXhc) video is pretty cheesy but nothing beats [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ). ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/10 "2007-09-15T12:26:50Z")
[QUOTE=Uosdwis R. Dewoh] nothing beats [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ). [/QUOTE] :eek: That has _got_ to be a joke. (David Hasselhof - Hooked on a Feeling.) ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/11 "2007-09-15T12:45:54Z")
Nearly forgot [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMlnJLdV5VY) one. Its a music video made by two popular Finnish artists in 1978. My mother lived next door and went to the same school as the male singer [Danny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilkka_Lipsanen). ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/12 "2007-09-15T13:09:17Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] :eek: That has _got_ to be a joke. (David Hasselhof - Hooked on a Feeling.) [/QUOTE] Hey man, don’t hassle the Hoff (especially not in a vintage year). How about [The Safety Dance.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg) ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/13 "2007-09-15T13:24:39Z")
A few days, I stumbled on [this gem](http://youtube.com/watch?v=j8OL7I3hpYA). The dork dancer is enough to put this into the solid cheese category, but the 80s CG and vector graphics just really put it over the top. Robin ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/14 "2007-09-15T15:11:06Z")
[Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip, “I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper”](http://youtube.com/watch?v=b_zMU2tX5n8). I’d say this competes with the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/15 "2007-09-15T15:32:08Z")
[Tunak Tunak Tun](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5995556455415798282). I believe I will see Daler Mendi in hell. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/16 "2007-09-15T15:56:52Z")
There’s a world of difference between “really bad”, “goofy”, “dated” and cheesiest. For cheesiest, the OP is right. I have never seen something so horribly…cheesy. From the constant back-lighting to the overused wind machine, from the angsty singing to the bright eyes, from the boarding school teens to the dancing ninjas (dancing fucking ninjas?, what…the…fuck?), from the million of candles to the cliche arm-tensing while singing, from the gothic set to the mirrors, every shot of this video, every second of the song is cheesy. Well done, OP. Spot on. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/17 "2007-09-15T16:03:08Z")
In honor of this week’s anniversary… How can this thread be complete without - [America: We Stand as One](http://youtube.com/watch?v=AIaeAtus5jU) ---
**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/18 "2007-09-15T23:39:24Z")
Some of the other videos posted in replies are bad, but… Wow! That Bonnie Tyler video is just… something! Bad isn’t even the right word. haha, jeez. My sisters used to make jokes about the video but I’ve never actually watched it before. Now I know. I mean the song itself is pretty ridiculous it’s so melodramatic, but they could’ve just done something like the Meatloaf video and it’d be fine. The dancers, the athletes, the various cliche groups, the glowing freaky eyes… it’s just insane. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/19 "2007-09-16T00:06:55Z")
There’s always William Shatner doing [Rocket Man](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxMTRmnc54Y). ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/20 "2007-09-16T00:16:18Z")
That Bonnie Tyler vid is so … overwrought. Some director thought he was making this big artistic allegorical imagery-filled mysterious enigma of a piece, and instead it’s just head-scratching what-the-hell. Now The Safety Dance one, I just watched it and laughed and laughed. I laughed so hard my mom who is recovering from surgery came up to see what the heck was going on. It’s so BAD! I can’t believe I used to watch this kind of crap for hours! So wonderfully horribly bad. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297.md?page=2)