# Cheesiest music video ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 15, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297 "2007-09-15T10:01:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/21 "2007-09-16T01:02:02Z")
You’re insane. That was an awesome video! I distinctly remember it being something I waited for hours for it to come on MTV… _(watches video for the first time in two decades)_ Now that…that’s not…I don’t… … My 12 year old self and I have a lot to talk about. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/22 "2007-09-16T01:20:28Z")
One word: A Flock of Seagulls. Oh wait, that’s four words. And I’m not sure if it’s more cheesy or just totally awful. And while I here I’ll just pit them for draging a cool band like the Stranglers into their pit of suckyness. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/23 "2007-09-16T01:35:44Z")
My usual answer to the question is [Lick It Up](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzmqgLmCzNQ) by KISS. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/24 "2007-09-16T01:42:50Z")
That David Hasselhof vid is pretty bad, but somewhat redeemed by its own self-awareness. Unlike some other [deluded,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaXp6ewtMoo) pathetic [posers](http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vp-is6S_b_g) But if we’re going to open the door to ironic self-parody, prepare to have it blown off its hinges by the Genius that is [Gunther.](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3305888077179818388&q=gunther&total=4081&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=9) _“champagne, glamour, sex, and respect”_ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/25 "2007-09-16T01:57:07Z")
For sheer cheese, it’s tough to beat Patty Smyth’s [The Warrior](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQgQND_66UI). But I think Bonnie just about does it. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/26 "2007-09-16T02:08:23Z")
Wait, you think there is self-awareness in the Hasselhoff video? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/27 "2007-09-16T02:11:57Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your amusement Bonnie Tyler’s [Total Eclipse of the Heart](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55nTwg5NIPM). The literalism. The histrionics. The mixed metaphors. The slo-mo dove. The glowing-eyed flying choirboy. The random football players who appear once and are then never seen again. The pansy-assed dancers. The vague (and vain) attempt at the end to explain what the hell was going on. What were they _thinking_? It’s hilariously bad. Can anyone do worse than this? [/QUOTE] **jjimm** , I hate to be a scold but you did a very dangerous thing by starting this thread. Don’t you realize the longer it goes on, there will be an increasing risk of some unfortunate Doper (or Dopers) being … [shudder] … _Rickrolled_! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/28 "2007-09-16T02:18:36Z")
That Bonnie Tyler video got a generation of porn-deprived gay teenagers through some dark days. And that Scandal video rocks. You people have no taste. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/29 "2007-09-16T02:22:12Z")
> [@](#): > > What is going on in that video? As best I can figure it out, Tyler is a teacher at a all-boy school. She’s feeling … urges … and she’s having a dream about her students. (You’re allowed to have nonsensical symbology in a dream sequence.) In the final scene, it’s the next morning and she’s awake and everything’s normal. But when she shakes hands with one of the boys she suddenly remembers “Omigod, I was dreaming about having sex with this kid last night.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/30 "2007-09-16T02:27:54Z")
My offering for a bizarre video: Pat Benatar’s [Shadows of the Night](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME0U9nY0AH4&mode=related&search=) - what the hell did this song have to do with the Battle of Britain? ---
**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/31 "2007-09-16T02:49:51Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] As best I can figure it out, Tyler is a teacher at a all-boy school. She’s feeling … urges … and she’s having a dream about her students. (You’re allowed to have nonsensical symbology in a dream sequence.) In the final scene, it’s the next morning and she’s awake and everything’s normal. But when she shakes hands with one of the boys she suddenly remembers “Omigod, I was dreaming about having sex with this kid last night.” [/QUOTE] Aw, you killed the joke. Half the fun was in the video not making any sense, and now you had to come along and give us a reasonably plausible explanation of what it’s about… Still, I’d like to know what’s up with the bird-boy, dancing ninjas, and flying glowing-eyed choir boy. Those go a little further than nonsensical symbology. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/32 "2007-09-16T02:52:22Z")
My nomination, if I could find a version of it online, would be Prince Charles’ (the short lived 80’s Prince imitator, not the Crown Prince) ‘SkinTight Tina’. I saw this on a channel that was yet to go into full production and so was showing mostly videos that MTV laughed off the air. Even by the low, cheesy standards of the 80’s, and by the low standards of videos shown on that channel, it was memorable for its cheesiness. I wish I could describe it, flinging records. The singer tied up and a singing with a voice that was a bastard child of George Clinton and Morrisey hitting adolescence. A couple of fly girls saying ‘ooh’ ‘aah’ with no feeling behind them while hiding behind masks on a stick… Cheese, pure cheese. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/33 "2007-09-16T03:00:04Z")
Well, while nothing can quite match the WTF quality of the OP’s selection (Though the Tunak Tunak Tun one comes close.) I will submit [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OufZbzsUtIo) for some mocking - if only for the focus on the swagger stick, while the line “some of them want to abuse you” is sung. And how the Hell have we forgotten [this one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IlHgbOWj4o) so long into the thread? It’s got to be a close second place for WTF moments! BTW: How much credibility will I have left when I admit that I still like most of these songs, even if the vids are embarassing to remember liking? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/34 "2007-09-16T03:03:31Z")
[QUOTE=H3Knuckles] Aw, you killed the joke. Half the fun was in the video not making any sense, and now you had to come along and give us a reasonably plausible explanation of what it’s about… Still, I’d like to know what’s up with the bird-boy, dancing ninjas, and flying glowing-eyed choir boy. Those go a little further than nonsensical symbology. [/QUOTE] Don’t forget the stair dancing greasers and the loin clothed dancers surrounding her. Of course, maybe the all boy school was the prestigious Mrs. Worcestershire’s School for Really F@#&\*d up Sh#$. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/35 "2007-09-16T03:14:40Z")
Fool! Dancing ninjas need no explanation! They can flip out and kill you before you can even blink! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/36 "2007-09-16T03:17:37Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] The glowing-eyed flying choirboy. (clipping mine) [/QUOTE] That was just creepy. ETA: **dotchan** - HA! I’d like to flip out like a ninja, [since that’s what they do](http://www.7secondsoflove.com/ninja/) (flash video). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/37 "2007-09-16T03:26:02Z")
[QUOTE=Achren] That was just creepy. ETA: **dotchan** - HA! I’d like to flip out like a ninja, [since that’s what they do](http://www.7secondsoflove.com/ninja/) (flash video). 😉 [/QUOTE] I hate you. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/38 "2007-09-16T03:47:21Z")
I was introduced to this video recently (through another CS thread, in fact): “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse. It’s relatively recent, and awesomely cheesy: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV1bRfLHA3A) ---
**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/39 "2007-09-16T03:56:42Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] I was introduced to this video recently (through another CS thread, in fact): “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse. It’s relatively recent, and awesomely cheesy: ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/jV1bRfLHA3A/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/jV1bRfLHA3A?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque [/QUOTE] Oh it’s awesome alright, but doesn’t it kind of disqualify a video when it’s intentionally cheesy? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297/40 "2007-09-16T03:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] …I will submit [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OufZbzsUtIo) for some mocking - if only for the focus on the swagger stick, while the line “some of them want to abuse you” is sung. And how the Hell have we forgotten [this one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IlHgbOWj4o) so long into the thread? It’s got to be a close second place for WTF moments! BTW: How much credibility will I have left when I admit that I still like most of these songs, even if the vids are embarassing to remember liking? 😃 [/QUOTE] Huh? I would hardly call those videos cheesy. They were awesome then, and I think they both hold up pretty well. My submission? Journey’s air-guitar extravaganza–[Separate Ways](http://youtube.com/watch?v=sxxOyGK1pMk). Melodramatic much? While we’re on the subject, does anybody know the story behind the [Heaven’s just a funky moose](http://www.fugly.com/flash/8/dontstopbelievin.html) “video?” And I don’t know if this is cheesy. I don’t know what it is. But if you haven’t seen it, do check out Leonard Nimoy’s [Ballad of Bilbo Baggins](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheesiest-music-video-ever/419297.md?page=3)