# cheezit, a word please .. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517 "2000-07-23T03:56:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/1 "2000-07-23T03:56:35Z")
In [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31732) thread Diane told us about a incident with a mentally retarded boy who asked her about the possibity of her changing his diaper sometime. **cheezit** responce was this . > [@](#): > > I’m not really sure what I would do if that happened to me. Well, since I am a man, yes I do. For me, a simple “no” would do. Other than that, you could change grocery stores, I guess. It is not appropriate for a boy, retarded or not, to ask a customer to change his diaper. I would probably talk to the store manager. While it is great that someone that is retarded can hold a job, if he is that bad, he probably should not be working, at least with the public. Now this is the first time I have ever called out a poster but you really need to explain yourself . I don’t want to start throwing insults **yet** as this post may be just you not putting down on the screen what you actually think . So please think about what you have said and let me know that this is your actual opinion on what should be done in this situation . BTW : IMO this boy possibly is in some danger and needs to have some things explained to him in a way that he can understand. But saying that he shouldn’t have a job just because he might make you uneasy is unacceptable IMO. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/2 "2000-07-23T04:38:53Z")
Please re-read the last sentence of the quote that you quoted. I did not say that he should not have a job. I said that he should not, if he is that bad, have a job working with the public. There are many jobs that a retarded person can do that do not involve working with the public. For instance, in the city that I live in, there is a place that hires and trains retarded people exclusively in the hope that one day they can actually go out on their own and be completely self-supportive. They do an excellent job of it. I agree that in this case, the boy is probably in some danger. What if he had done that to someone that was not quite as understanding as Diane appears to be? He may have gotten himself knocked on his butt. Or worse. And he probably would not have understood the reasons. That is why I would have talked with the store manager. Not because I wanted the kid to be fired, but more for his own safety. Again, I really think that it is great that a retarded person can get and hold a job. But in this case, working as a courtesy clerk in a grocery store, given the apparent severity of his retardation, to me does not seem like the perfect job for him. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/3 "2000-07-23T05:22:29Z")
**cheezit** what is your definition of “the public” ( it sounds like you really mean not handicapped ) . If this kid can get trained to do a job should he just work with other handicapped people ? If he worked with people that didn’t have a handicap in a factory for example he might do the same thing or something similar. My objection to your post is the use of the term “not appropriate” . This is a handicapped boy your talking about . It was not inappropriate it was just him talking about the problems he experiences. Should any handicapped person who can’t conform to your idea of what is acceptable be divorced from society ? ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/4 "2000-07-23T05:38:21Z")
> [@](#): > > …the apparent severity of his retardation, to me does not seem like the perfect job… Cheezit, what the fuck is wrong with you, man??? The boy can walk, talk and communicate, carry groceries… How do you figure this is **severe** retardation? And do not go trying to say you did not want the boy fired. You said yourself that he “should not be working” and that you would “talk to the store manager”. Also, you said you would change stores? Is it that hard for you to deal with _different_ people that you would go out of your way to avoid them. Fuck you asshole!!! > [@](#): > > He may have gotten himself knocked on his butt You would actually hit a kid with a mental disability just because he asked you to change his diaper? Are you some kind of punk? What’s funny is you had the chance to apologize and rethink the situation, and your response made you seem worse. You need to seriously rethink your views on life asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/5 "2000-07-23T05:52:17Z")
Seems to me \* I’m \* much more a problem for the public than this boy will ever be. I mean, I used to demagnitize the credit cards of people who were assholes to me (incidentally, not bank cards–credit cards can still be used, bank cards can’t) when I was a cachier; all this guy did was create an awkward situation. Cheezit: it sounds to me like you’re not a bad guy–just said some things that didn’t come out right, and when you got called on them you tried to modify your original statement to make it better. It didn’t work. But, we all do this sometimes, rather than just say “I fucked up”. So if that’s the case\*, how about it? \*If not, I’m siding with the rest of them in calling you an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/6 "2000-07-23T06:20:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > Cheezit: it sounds to me like you’re not a bad guy–just said some things that didn’t come out right, and when you got called on them you tried to modify your original statement to make it better. . That was my point . I don’t want to drag another poster over the coals just because of one post. I’ve seen it done before and I don’t like it but really **Cheezit** this boy did **nothing** wrong . It is wrong of **you** to say that he shouldn’t be put in the face of “the public” just because he may say and do things that you would feel uncomfortable with . Grow up , sometimes it’s not about **you**. ---
**Author:** ![Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/0ea827/32.png) [@Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zaphod_Beeblebrox)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/7 "2000-07-23T06:55:21Z")
For the record, I do not agree with what **cheezit** wrote, but I think that **Bear\_Nenno** might have misinterpreted a part of his post. > [@](#): > > You would actually hit a kid with a mental disability just because he asked you to change his diaper? Are you some kind of punk? **cheezit** never said that _he_ would do such a thing, he was merely pointing out that _some people_ might. I’d have to agree with that statement. There are a lot of assholes out there. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/8 "2000-07-23T07:09:42Z")
OK… standing down. I apologize for putting words in your mouth cheezit. But you can still go Fuck the horse you road in on. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/9 "2000-07-23T07:43:38Z")
I’m going to try and stop the gang-flame of cheezit that has already begun. If the kid isn’t able to understand that he shouldn’t ask the customers to **change his diapers** , he shouldn’t work in a customer service position. He could be 1. In danger. As has been mentioned, a lot of bastards would punch him out for that. Not to mention sick freaks who might molest him or something. 2. Making the customers very uncomfortable. This leads to them finding a new grocery store which would be 3. Hurting his employer. So DAMN STRAIGHT someone should talk to the store manager, if only so he can sit the kid down and explain to him that he shouldn’t ask customers to change his diapers. But according to the original thread, the boy is too impaired to remember the names of students he goes to school with. He probably won’t be able to hold onto the directive for very long. \*\*He would be better off in a job that involves less direct interfacing with the customers. \*\* Those of you who disagree, please explain to me why it is the grocery store’s obligation to give the handicapped boy a job and let him say whatever he wants to whoever he wants over moreso than it is the store’s obligation to sell groceries and make the customers comfortable in their store. –John ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/10 "2000-07-23T08:02:59Z")
**Yue Han** I do not want a gang flame on **cheezit** , I have not flamed him . I have just asked him to clarify what he said. But your feelings about how this thread could go are probably correct. I don’t want this to seem like I’m trying to make him the brunt of meaningless insults . I just got the impression that he was basically saying that handicapped people can’t make mistakes( I still don’t think that what was said by the boy is appropriate given the circumstances ) . That said , I’m going to ask that this is closed because I don’t think that **cheezit** deserves what this thread might become . ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/11 "2000-07-23T08:26:00Z")
I never said the boy should be aloud to say whatever he wants to whomever. But, “I go poopy in my diaper” is neither threatning, nor vulgar! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/12 "2000-07-23T11:39:49Z")
My guess is that if the boy in question made a habit of discussing the diaper situation, the store manager would have heard of it long ago. Perhaps the boy sensed a warmth and caring in Dianne that he did not sense in others. Perhaps he was simply drawn to her and felt he could trust her. In any event, there seems to be a trend towards hiring at least mildly retarded people to work in public service positions. Possibly there is a PR or even a PC reason for doing so. Whatever the reason, I applaud the trend. As to changing the boys diaper, well, he hasn’t asked me to. If he did, I would only hope that I could be as graceful as was Dianne. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/13 "2000-07-23T13:54:10Z")
First off – Thank you Yue Han for saying exactly what I was TRYING to say. As for the rest of you, let me get this straight. I’M an asshole because I have an opinion that all of YOU don’t see as “appropriate”? Where in my posts did I say that I would knock the kid on his butt. Where did I say that I thought the kid should get fired because he was retarded? Where did I say that he would NEVER be able to work anywhere but in a place for retarded people? Let me say this. I have nothing but the utmost respect for retarded people that can hold a job. They have every bit as much right to work as you or I do. Maybe even more. But from what some of you have written about what you read into what I said, Don’t even pretend to tell me that if a 16 year old kid told you he pooped his diaper, you would have handled it the same as Diane did. You can say you would but you can’t be that sure, now can you? Please don’t tell me that “Those people are here in order to allow us to practice charity” is an appropriate thing to say. They don’t need pity. They need all the understanding and acceptance they can get. And more power to them. And just for the record, I have been a manager of a large grocery store. I would have no problem hiring and training a handicapped or retarded person. But if a situation such as Diane described came up, I would hope that some caring person would bring it to my attention so that any possible violence toward that person could be stopped before it ever got started. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that even what I have written here will be misconstrued. Fine. Believe what ever the fuck you want to believe. But just so you will know, I have NO PROBLEM with retarded people. I work with them every day. And one more thing–take your “group hug” and stuff it. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/14 "2000-07-23T15:06:54Z")
I’m in agreement with Yue Han. When I read the original post my first thought was, “That kid’s gonna get molested.” And, regarding the maturity level…just because he can communicate and bag and carry groceries does _not_ mean he’s in the right job. It sounds like his naivete could easily allow him to get into a customer’s car and be driven away. Ok, my skepticism is showing, but I’ve gained it as a result of working for several years at an emergency children’s shelter. Kids that are disabled in any way are often easy marks for predators. One that announces his vulnerable status (such as the kid in the OP) is even doubly so. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/15 "2000-07-23T15:35:41Z")
And now I’ll chime in and agree with Yue Han and cheezit. Perhaps I’m a bit dense, but I didn’t read anything really that wrong with cheezit’s post - maybe because I came at it from the assumption that he/she was a decent person who was honestly concerned. And I don’t think yojimbo was trying to flame back either. Now we can all be friends and move on. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/16 "2000-07-23T16:12:03Z")
**cheezit** said: > [@](#): > > Please don’t tell me that “Those people are here in order to allow us to practice charity” is an appropriate thing to say. They don’t need pity. They need all the understanding and acceptance they can get. And more power to them. New World Dictionary of American English: Charitable: 1. kind and generous in giving money or other help to those in need 2. of or for charity 3. kind and forgiving in judging others; lenient Charity: 1. _Christian theol._ the love of God for man or of man for his fellow men. 2. an act of good will or affection 3. the feeling of good will; benevolence 4. kindness or leniency in judging others. 5. a) a voluntary giving of money or other help to those in need b)money or help so given c) an instituion or other recipient of such help 6. a welfare instituion, organization or fund. Sorry, but not a word to be found about “pity” in the definition. Not a word to imply that “pity” has anything to do with charity. I can feel pity for jerks without extending them any charity. I can extend charity to jerks without feeling any pity at all. And I wouldn’t try to tell you anything. I hate wasting my time. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/17 "2000-07-23T18:15:16Z")
Ok , cheezit it seems wires may have been crossed . You have shown me how you think ( not that you where under any obligation to ) . I do see where I could inferre the things I have said in your posts but obviously that’s not what you meant and I just made a mistake . A lot of points you have brought up are things other posters have said or taken you up wrong . I was just looking for an explaination not a fight. While I still don’t agree with you on everything you have said that is my problem and not yours . As far as I’m concerned this is over. If you do what to continue my e-mail is showing . ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/18 "2000-07-24T02:36:45Z")
Guys, I’m a cashier at KrapMart, and let me tell you: what he said was NOT appropriate. I’m not being nasty, I feel for this boy. But not only would it make customers uncomfortable, as some have pointed out, it would make him a target. I would hope that I would be as polite as Diane. But, I would speak with a manager, and make it known that I was concerned for poor John. Because let me tell you, what if he said that to a small child, and a parent got the wrong idea, and all that? So let’s just say, that he’s probably not a bad kid, but that still doesn’t make what he said appropriate, all right? ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/19 "2000-07-24T05:03:46Z")
Would the clerks statements be ok if he WEREN’T retarded? Discussing bodily functions with a customer is NOT ok. If this kid can’t understand that, I agree with Yue Han, he needs another job. Not to be fired, but to be removed from interacting with strangers. Other employees can be trained, explained to, it’s not the same. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517/20 "2000-07-24T05:40:37Z")
Well, I gotta say, I’m not sure how I’d react if a boy asked me to do that. But it wouldn’t be harshly. And I honestly don’t think there’s many people out there who _would_ react harshly. And saying he might be in danger is silly. He might be in danger _anywhere_ except for home. But who wants to live such a sheltered life? I would bet the reason he likes that job is because he gets to talk to people. Not to mention he’s actually _enjoying_ a job that most other people wouldn’t want. And people tend to prefer being helped by someone who enjoys their job, like the guys you see in the commercials. You know, the guys who look like they’re absolutely _thrilled_ to be wearing an apron and a paper hat. Of course, that ideal employee probably doesn’t ask people to change his diaper. But hey, you gotta take the good with the bad. Remember, this is a nice kid. And from all available accounts, rather likeable. So he said some things that are inappropriate, but everybody has a different idea of what’s inappropriate. I was once fired because a coworker and I were talking about the percentage of gays and lesbians amongst males and females. My coworker was gay, he didn’t find it offensive. But somebody in the other room overheard and complained to the manager that it was inappropriate. Most people wouldn’t have been offended by that. But this guy had a tick up his ass about it. I wish everybody would realize that if they get offended, it might be their own fault. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheezit-a-word-please/26517.md?page=2)