# Chef didn't quit South Park?!? WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 21, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250 "2006-03-21T04:39:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/21 "2006-03-21T17:18:04Z")
Sorry about the Cruise hijack, but I wanted to share this quote with you… "Dear Tom Cruise, Your lack of belief in the existence of clinical depression tells me one thing: you didn’t spend $10 to see War Of The Worlds. If vitamins can possibly help me out of this spiraling funk, please let me know which ones. Dinos? Pebbles? Freds? Please, I’m crying out for help." Alton Brown (From AB’s Goodeats fanpage) Gotta love that Alton Brown. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/22 "2006-03-21T18:47:58Z")
AB was my hero even _before_ that letter. Now, he’s never getting rid of me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/23 "2006-03-21T20:15:49Z")
> [@Hail Ants](#): > > So anyways, [this news story states](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,188463,00.html) From the article: “_But it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time._” WTF is that all about?😕 ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/24 "2006-03-21T21:34:10Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > From the article: > > “_But it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time._” > > WTF is that all about?😕 Great Hubbard is watching you. Personally, I think the whole thing is creepy. But then again, anyone who has told them that has probably been cut off from the new scientologist. Can’t have those negative waves. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/25 "2006-03-21T21:39:46Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > From the article: > > “_But it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time._” > > WTF is that all about?😕 Just what it says. They have someone following them around checking up on them. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/26 "2006-03-21T21:58:46Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Just what it says. They have someone following them around checking up on them. Katie’s “minder” is named Jessica Rodriquez, for the record. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/27 "2006-03-21T22:51:42Z")
> [@Doug Bowe](#): > > Katie’s “minder” is named Jessica Rodriquez, for the record. Is she [del]crazy[/del] hot too? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/28 "2006-03-21T22:57:03Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Just what it says. They have someone following them around checking up on them. Wait a minute…!:eek: WTF? Is that for real? Does every Scientologist have a cult master following them around or just the rich ones? And why? Checking up on them for what? What is the purpose of that? Prevent escape back to witch mountain? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/29 "2006-03-21T23:14:57Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > And why? Checking up on them for what? What is the purpose of that? Prevent escape back to witch mountain? Getting between the Scientologist and the critics of Scientology would be my guess. Part of that whole “disconnection” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/30 "2006-03-21T23:43:11Z")
[According to this Associated Press story](http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts/AP-TV-South-Park.html), word has it that Parker and Stone have “used creative editing of his voicing from past shows to fashion new dialogue.” ---
**Author:** ![FlightlessBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/cdc98d/32.png) [@FlightlessBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlightlessBird)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/31 "2006-03-21T23:58:41Z")
Tomorrow’s episode is called “The Return of Chef!” Can someone catch me up? Did Chef go somewhere? Or is this a clever title based on current events? I’ve missed a few season’s now. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/32 "2006-03-22T00:08:36Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > [According to this Associated Press story](http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts/AP-TV-South-Park.html), word has it that Parker and Stone have “used creative editing of his voicing from past shows to fashion new dialogue.” Why am I not imagining it will sound in any way natural? Wait…right…this is the show that deliberately put in ‘split screen’ artifacts when they did their mirror universe episode. I look forward to looking the episodes they did this for. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/33 "2006-03-22T00:35:17Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Wait a minute…!:eek: WTF? Is that for real? > > Does every Scientologist have a cult master following them around or just the rich ones? > > And why? Checking up on them for what? What is the purpose of that? Prevent escape back to witch mountain? The Church of Scientology treats their celebrity members (aka “Opinion Leaders”) to very special attentions, both positively and negatively. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/34 "2006-03-22T06:08:38Z")
According to this [site](http://www.uselessjunk.com/article_full.php?id=3158), Hayes has already found new work. (warning - the linked video is SFW but has some NSFW ads around it) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/35 "2006-03-22T06:25:10Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Sorry about the Cruise hijack, but I wanted to share this quote with you… > > "Dear Tom Cruise, > > Your lack of belief in the existence of clinical depression tells me one thing: you didn’t spend $10 to see War Of The Worlds. If vitamins can possibly help me out of this spiraling funk, please let me know which ones. Dinos? Pebbles? Freds? > > Please, I’m crying out for help." > > Alton Brown > (From AB’s Goodeats fanpage) > > Gotta love that Alton Brown. Somebody take Tom’s Oscar and give it to Alton. 😃 Frankly, having seen the trailers for MI:3, I have a sneaking feeling that it’s going to bomb. The last one was horrifically bad, IMHO, and Cruise didn’t have the same level of control over it that he does this one, so given his prediliction for couch jumping, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it’s going to suck so bad that even his fans will avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/36 "2006-03-22T11:44:12Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Somebody take Tom’s Oscar and give it to Alton. On three separate occasions somebody has taken [Tom’s Oscar](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000129/awards). They first gave it to Daniel Day-Lewis, then to Geoffrey Rush, then to Michael Caine. Perhaps next time they will give it to Alton. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/37 "2006-03-22T12:05:07Z")
> [@middleman](#): > > If War of the Worlds had bombed I would agree with you. But it was the biggest hit of Cruise’s career and it came on the tail of couch jumping and Matt Lauer bashing. I think that Tom Cruise had little to do with the success of War of the Worlds. More likely it was a combination of Steven Spielberg and lots of shit being blown up. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/38 "2006-03-22T12:49:05Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I think that Tom Cruise had little to do with the success of War of the Worlds. More likely it was a combination of Steven Spielberg and lots of shit being blown up. Not to mention all the history behind that particular story. I think people just wanted to see what modern hollywood technology could do for that story. It may have even done better without Cruise! I can’t stand any of the MI movies. Cruise sucks in action hero roles IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/39 "2006-03-22T15:37:33Z")
Here is a safe for work link of Isaac Hayes new job. [Tom Cruise Voice Over](http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16530) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250/40 "2006-03-22T17:51:22Z")
Is there some legal reason that South Park couldn’t just hire someone who sounds like Isaac Hayes to do Chef’s voice? I can’t imagine that there’s a shortage of people who do Chef/Hayes impersonations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chef-didnt-quit-south-park-wtf/349250.md?page=3)