# Chelsea Handler "pwns" Gene Simmons **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010 "2011-06-10T18:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/41 "2011-06-16T13:59:09Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > _Gene Simmons_ sleeping around? Getting upset over that is like buying a pet elephant and then complaining that it takes up space. I don’t really care about Simmons’s sex life as such. I don’t make any judgment about him on the basis of his promiscuity. The real issue is that he’s gone out of his way to make it a subject of public discussion and he’s also exposed the personal lives and feelings of his wife (face it, she’s as good as his wife, even though they’re not technically married) and his children through this reality show and the accompanying publicity interviews, and it’s all really just for money. I just find it sad to see people who seem to be genuinely hurting in public like that, and I include both Tweed and Simmons in that, because they both seem to be losing something important to them. Really what makes him an asshole is using all this to make money. He’s not rich enough? He has to put his family through this public laundry-airing just so he can do a TV show? And that on top of the way he generally interacts with people, like Terry Gross. It’s uncalled for. He’s just an unpleasant person. If not for all of this, I’d have no opinion about him based solely on his screwing around with groupies. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/42 "2011-06-16T14:52:12Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > > Gene Simmons. He’s **GENE SIMMONS** , people. He’s fucked, like, 900,000 women. That is his whole persona. It’s his _persona_, but personas are frequently manufactured as much from legend and myth as fact. Unless you’re privy to the ins and outs of his every day life, you don’t know what the actual reality is. Nor do any of us know exactly what arrangement and agreement and promises were made between him and Shannon about what sort of behavior was acceptable when and where. Whatever’s changed is enough that, despite contracts, despite public appearances, Shannon walked out at some recent point. Whether she’s back, or semi-back, or just remaining entangled because of their children I don’t know (and I don’t think anyone who doesn’t know them personally could say) but she’s obviously, from her demeanor, at a very bad place. It’s really rather horrifying watching someone’s life unravel in front of reality TV’s cold glare. And if this were about a mutual failing, I’d expect someone as balls-out as Simmons to say so, instead he stammers and wavers and looks like an ugly fool. The sympathy meter is definitely not pegging in his direction. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/43 "2011-06-16T14:58:45Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > or just remaining entangled because of their children The children are in their 20s, I believe. > [@](#): > > It’s really rather horrifying watching someone’s life unravel in front of reality TV’s cold glare. Exactly. It’s not entertaining at all. And I haven’t even seen the reality show, the interviews linked in this thread are really horrifying. Although, I have to admit that I found it odd that after “walking out” on the Behar interview, Tweed continued to wander the set instead of just leaving. It makes me think twice about whether this is a put on for the cameras. > [@](#): > > I’d expect someone as balls-out as Simmons to say so, instead he stammers and wavers and looks like an ugly fool. The sympathy meter is definitely not pegging in his direction. And on the other hand, this makes me think it’s real. If it’s all a put-on, Gene Simmons, of all people, would have an assholish comment all ready to go. Instead he just seems like someone who’s finally getting dumped. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/44 "2011-06-16T18:07:25Z")
I know that I haven’t been watching his show. I didn’t even know he had one. And I know that I’m not going to be watching the show. I really don’t want to watch this play out. Watching Shannon Tweed break down and cry just isn’t what I’m interested in. I think he’s a giant prick. And yeah, Shannon has some grief coming for getting into a relationship with a known womanizer and then expecting him to change for her. But that doesn’t mean Gene isn’t still being a giant ass. I know people are very skeptical of what they see on TV, especially reality shows. I know that the promotional tour of this certainly feels like hype, and you wonder about people going through such an emotional turmoil and not only playing it out on a reality show, but going on a promotional tour and continuing to play it out. I can see how someone could wonder if it is real or all a big publicity act. To me, I don’t really care to follow any more. I never cared about KISS, never cared about Gene Simmons, hearing that he’s an asshole doesn’t really mean much to me. Watching a washed up rock star with an oversized ego and horrible hair go through an emotional crisis with his not-quite-wife is really not something that matters to me. Sure, laugh at him because he’s an ass, but if you’re not in the entertainment business (where you’re paid to pay attention to these things), then don’t feed the troll. Ignore his show, ignore him, and hope he goes away. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/45 "2011-06-16T18:12:41Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > It’s his _persona_, but personas are frequently manufactured as much from legend and myth as fact. Unless you’re privy to the ins and outs of his every day life, you don’t know what the actual reality is. Well apparently the reality is he’s fucked like 900,000 women. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/46 "2011-06-16T18:15:34Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > he’s a giant prick. No wonder he’s fucked, like, 900,000 women. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/47 "2011-06-16T18:17:19Z")
According to my calculations, at 3 minutes per (Anybody who brags about it only gets 3 minutes per in my calcs), 900,000 women is ~208 days of fucking. OK, back to the discussion… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/48 "2011-06-16T18:19:38Z")
Actually, the number Chelsea Handler mentioned was 5,000. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/49 "2011-06-16T18:22:55Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > According to my calculations, at 3 minutes per (Anybody who brags about it only gets 3 minutes per in my calcs), 900,000 women is ~208 days of fucking. > > OK, back to the discussion… 😃 Eh? 24hours \* 60 min/hr = 1440 min/day. Divide that by three is 480 women per day.. (No sleep, eat, etc. 🙂 ) 900,000 divided by 480 = 1875 days, or 5 years, 48 days, 18 hours. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/50 "2011-06-16T18:27:22Z")
900,000/3, /60, /24 = 208.3333 ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/51 "2011-06-16T18:28:26Z")
On the other hand, he was born in '49. Lets say he began his conquests at 15 years old (1964). That’s almost (not quite, as of today, 47 years.) 900,000 women divided by 47 is 19,148.93 women a year, averaged. (only 52 women a day.) 5000 / 47 = 106.38 women per year average. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/52 "2011-06-16T18:32:44Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > 900,000/3, /60, /24 = 208.3333 You don’t divide by 3, you multiply. 900,000 women \* 3 minutes = 2,700,000 total minutes of banging 2,700,000 minutes / 60 m/h = 45,000 total hours 45,000 hours / 24 h/d = 1,875 total days 1,875 days / 365 d/y = 5.14 years of copulation ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/53 "2011-06-16T18:33:23Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > 5000 / 47 = 106.38 women per year average. That sounds doable. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/54 "2011-06-16T18:34:05Z")
:smack: …should have been \* instead of / by 3…you’re right of course. What this says about my math skills or psyche should be taken with a grain of salt(peter). :o 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/55 "2011-06-16T18:34:10Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > 900,000/3, /60, /24 = 208.3333 You should be _multiplying_ that 3, not dividing by it. You came up with the figure for if Gene came in 20 seconds with each conquest. 🙂 ETA: Oops, simulpost! ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/56 "2011-06-16T18:38:10Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > 900,000/3, /60, /24 = 208.3333 😕 900,000 TIMES 3 minutes (for each session) to get total minutes required. Not divided. 900000 \* 3 = 2,700,000 total minutes. 2,700,000 / 60 = 45,000 hours. 45,000 hours / 24 = 1875 days. Edit: Took me a little bit to figure out what you were trying to do to get that formula. I’m slow. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/57 "2011-06-16T18:46:56Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > > Gene Simmons. He’s **GENE SIMMONS** , people. He’s fucked, like, 900,000 women. That is his whole persona. Anyone who could delude themselves into thinking that they could be in a committed monogamous relationship with this man is a moron of the _highest_ order. My God, what the fuck did Shannon expect? > > Politicians sleep around? It doesn’t surprise me, but I can at least understand the public’s indignation. _Gene Simmons_ sleeping around? Getting upset over that is like buying a pet elephant and then complaining that it takes up space. > > I will never, never, never, _never,_ _ **never,** _ _ **NEVER** _ understand why women enter into relationships with guys who openly, proudly, have been profligate womanizers, and then think that _they_ are _the one_ who is _so special_ that they will finally “tame him” and he’ll “settle down” and love only her for the rest of his life. And Gene Simmons is like the _archetype_ of that guy. > > I will never, never, never, _never,_ _ **never,** _ _ **NEVER** _ understand it. Never? . ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/58 "2011-06-16T18:49:22Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Never? Hardly ever! ---
**Author:** ![Voluble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/4af34b/32.png) [@Voluble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voluble)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/59 "2011-07-20T05:56:53Z")
If you watch his show Gene comes off like Bill Cosby on the Cosby show. He is the butt of all of the jokes and he doesn’t seem to take himself that seriously. He will pull out the rock star schtick just so they can shoot it down and he seems to enjoy it when they do. His kids are very well mannered, smart and funny. They aren’t screwed up like Ozzy’s kids and their interactions with their father all seem very healthy. A lot of the shows are staged from start to finish but you can kind of get a feel for how they actually are. Shannon knew about Gene sleeping around and about his addiction to work from the get go. I cannot believe they did not have an understanding. She claims she put up with it for the sake of the kids but I don’t think she ever let Gene know her plan was to dump him once they were grown. She is also losing her looks and that probably adds to the insecurity. Gene never had anything to lose in that department. Gene’s public persona works against him. I think James Taylor dumped his family because they interfered with his work and then named an album about the event just to drive home the point but his public persona is a sweet and kind one so no one says boo about it or thinks ill of him. It also hurts that KISS was always such an artificial construct and marketing vehicle. Gene can’t even claim to have the wild animal spirits of the artist as an excuse. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010/60 "2011-07-20T06:10:26Z")
This is great. I’m a goy but Chelsea, a hot meydl, is pwning. . . .Okay, I don’t care who, as long as it isn’t me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chelsea-handler-pwns-gene-simmons/585010.md?page=4)