# Cheney has no pulse **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267 "2010-07-19T20:14:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/21 "2010-07-19T22:48:31Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Bathing in virgin’s blood has been discussed on this board as a possibility. It’s why the Bush administration wanted abstinence to be the only birth control method to be taught. > > Skald, you’re a wuss, flying pulseless monkeys or not. 🙂 As lemmings this week. You’ll find out the details later. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/22 "2010-07-19T22:48:45Z")
> [@](#): > > He also has the best medical care in the country. Millions of people don’t have that. He’s lucky to live in a time and place when such a miracle is possible, and he’s lucky to be able to get that miracle for himself. For many decades his party has stood in the way of “ordinary” people accessing the same kind of healthcare that’s keeping him alive. Another way to look at it is that perhaps it’s thanks to his party promoting healthcare or business policies that encourage innovation and entrepreneurship that such miraculous technology was even created in the first place. Not that other countries never have technological advances or clinical trials, but American healthcare is a powerhouse of research and innovation. A lot of medical breakthroughs have their origins in the American healthcare system. That’s probably why you don’t see the bigwigs like Cheney asking to be flown to Canada or the UK to get some of that amazing governmental healthcare for themselves but sometimes you do see bigwigs from other countries coming to America for care. Some people might very well believe that it’s better if the populace as a whole has mediocre healthcare than for some have excellent healthcare and some to have not so good healthcare, but I think it is possible for people to disagree on that issue without one side being evil people who deserve terrible things. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/23 "2010-07-19T22:49:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Dick Cheney has a heart? I hope someone remembers to drive a stake through it before they screw down the lid. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/24 "2010-07-19T23:02:54Z")
:: reads linked article :: They can _do_ that?!! ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/25 "2010-07-19T23:18:39Z")
I remember when we had the life-support removed from my mother, who’d had a massive cerebral hemorrhage. The vent was removed and yet her heart kept beating and beating. It was her pacemaker, doing it’s job even after her brain stopped telling the rest of her body what to do. The ICU staff was a bit befuddled at first. It was strange. As far as Cheney having insurance, are people going to wish me dead because I work for a corporation that provides insurance? That’s one of the things I expected after selling my soul to the corporate machine. I work a job I don’t particularly like for the paycheck and the insurance. This is a choice I made. And I’m pretty damned ordinary. StG ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/26 "2010-07-19T23:31:05Z")
The first thing that came to mind when I saw this thread was a vampire joke. The second thing was a Darth Vader joke. The third thing that came to mind: How many of us would be entitled to the same level of care that Cheney is getting were we to suffer the same misfortune? I feel no sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/27 "2010-07-19T23:45:03Z")
Turn the pump up to 11. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/28 "2010-07-20T00:10:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I can’t. Dick may be pure, unblinking evil, but he has a wife and daughter who love him and will grieve for them. In a perfect world he’d be in prison, but I refuse to wish evil upon him. His wife is as big an asshole as he is; she just never was in a position to foist her brand of rape on an entire nation. Fuck both of them, twice. When he goes, I hope it’s painful. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/29 "2010-07-20T00:14:25Z")
I have no sympathy for him. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/30 "2010-07-20T00:23:49Z")
I just read the article. I had no idea he was only 69, or that his first heart attack happened when he was 37. I can’t imagine living 32 years with a crap ticker. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/31 "2010-07-20T00:38:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > When he goes, I hope it’s painful. Who says he’s going to die? This is just another in a series of steps to make him completely bionic. Dick Cheney will **be** **HERE** _ **FOREVER!!!11!1!1!** _ ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/32 "2010-07-20T00:48:33Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > On the other hand, I can’t help but be reminded of all the Darth Cheney jokes. “He’s more machine now than man.” I doubt he’ll throw Dubya down the reactor core, but [here ya go anyway](http://dailyshite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/darth_cheney.jpg). > [@Encinitas](#): > > OK, am I the only one who misread the title of the OP as “Cheney has no pubes?” Hmhm yes, they usually shave the patient before major surgery. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/33 "2010-07-20T01:10:02Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I doubt he’ll throw Dubya down the reactor core, but [here ya go anyway](http://dailyshite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/darth_cheney.jpg). > > Hmhm yes, they usually shave the patient before major surgery. I thought it was a different kind of pump. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/34 "2010-07-20T01:37:58Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Yeah, if I was an ER doc, and Cheney came walking in with no pulse, “ventricular assist device” probably would be the first explanation to come to mind. I’d lean towards a more Lovecraftian theory. > > And yeah, I don’t care if that is insensitive. That one’s actually pretty good. I’d call it within the acceptable limits of black humor. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Dick Cheney has a heart? Yes, he keeps it in a jar on his desk. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/35 "2010-07-20T01:42:07Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > Who says he’s going to die? > > This is just another in a series of steps to make him completely bionic. > > Dick Cheney will **be** **HERE** _ **FOREVER!!!11!1!1!** _ He has so far. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/36 "2010-07-20T01:50:44Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Damn, modern medicine is a miracle, isn’t it? My God protect me from it! When Dick first took the oath, I figured he would die in the first year or two of the BUsh administration. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/37 "2010-07-20T01:57:03Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Damn, modern medicine is a miracle, isn’t it? No freakin’ kidding. Say what you will about Cheney…but _that this device exists is mindbogglingly awesome_, even if you don’t think the person being given this particular one is deserving. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/38 "2010-07-20T02:37:29Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > As far as Cheney having insurance, are people going to wish me dead because I work for a corporation that provides insurance? That would depend if your job is trying to keep poor people from receiving health care. 🙂 Actually, we aren’t wishing him dead…in this instance…but wishing he did not have expensive elaborate health care when his administration kept basic health care from the poor. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/39 "2010-07-20T03:24:36Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :: reads linked article :: > > They can _do_ that?!! > [@Tengu](#): > > No freakin’ kidding. > > Say what you will about Cheney…but _that this device exists is mindbogglingly awesome_, even if you don’t think the person being given this particular one is deserving. Pretty much my opinion! I don’t care about Cheney (nor do I care to spend time disliking him), but _damn_ if that’s not the coolest technology I’ve heard of in a while! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267/40 "2010-07-20T03:49:27Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > Another way to look at it is that perhaps it’s thanks to his party promoting healthcare or business policies that encourage innovation and entrepreneurship that such miraculous technology was even created in the first place. Not that other countries never have technological advances or clinical trials, but American healthcare is a powerhouse of research and innovation. A lot of medical breakthroughs have their origins in the American healthcare system. > That’s probably why you don’t see the bigwigs like Cheney asking to be flown to Canada or the UK to get some of that amazing governmental healthcare for themselves but sometimes you do see bigwigs from other countries coming to America for care. > > Some people might very well believe that it’s better if the populace as a whole has mediocre healthcare than for some have excellent healthcare and some to have not so good healthcare, but I think it is possible for people to disagree on that issue without one side being evil people who deserve terrible things. Well from Wikipedia (bolding mine) > [@](#): > > Studies and outcomes > [edit] Recent developments > > ``` > * In **July 2009 in England** , surgeons removed a donor heart that had been implanted in a toddler next to her native heart, after her native heart had recovered. This technique suggests mechanical assist device, such as an LVAD, can take some or all the work away from the native heart and allow it time to heal.[6] > * In July 2009, 18-month follow-up results from the HeartMate II Clinical Trial concluded that continuous-flow LVAD provides effective hemodynamic support for at least 18 months in patients awaiting transplantation, with improved functional status and quality of life. (see below)[7]. > * **Heidelberg University Hospital** reported in July 2009 that the first HeartAssist5, known as the modern version of the DeBakey VAD, was implanted there. The HeartAssist5 weighs 92 grams, is made of titanium and plastic, and serves to pump blood from the left ventricle into the aorta.[8] > * A phase 1 clinical trial is underway (as of August 2009), consisting of patients with coronary artery bypass grafting and patients in end-stage heart failure who have a left ventricular assist device. The trial involves testing a patch, called Anginera(TM) that contains cells that secrete hormone-like growth factors that stimulate other cells to grow. The patches are seeded with heart muscle cells and then implanted onto the heart with the goal of getting the muscle cells to start communicating with native tissues in a way that allows for regular contractions.[9][10] > * In September 2009, a New Zealand news outlet, Stuff, reported that in another 18 months to two years, a new wireless device will be ready for clinical trial that will power VADs without direct contact. If successful, this may reduce the chance of infection as a result of the power cable through the skin.[11] > * **The National Institutes of Health (NIH) awarded a $2.8 million grant to develop a "pulse-less" total artificial heart using two VADS by Micromed,**initially created by Michael DeBakey and George Noon. The grant was renewed for a second year of research in August 2009. The Total Artificial Heart was created using two HeartAssist5 VADs, whereby one VAD pumps blood throughout the body and the other circulates blood to and from the lungs.[12] > * HeartWare International announced in August 2009 that it had surpassed 50 implants of their HeartWare Ventricular Assist System in their ADVANCE Clinical Trial, an FDA-approved IDE study. The study is to asses the system as bridge-to-transplantation system for patients with end-stage heart failure. The study, Evaluation of the HeartWare LVAD System for the Treatment of Advance Heart Failure, is a multi-center study that started in May 2009.[13][14] > > ``` Foreign countries are doing things and there is a huge US government grant to help a company build a device to resell to US citizens at a huge profit, even though we paid to research it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cheney-has-no-pulse/547267.md?page=3)